WTF is it with transpeople and weddings?

[Julia1996]

My uncle Jeff is getting married next month.  He told my dad that his bride to be doesn't want to invite me. My dad asked what would be the problem since the family already knows and anyone who doesn't would never know I'm trans. Her thoughts on the subject are that her family and friends DON'T know and that someone will mention it to them and that it will turn into a huge distraction to her wedding.  That is totally fine with me. I can't stand the woman my uncle is marrying. I wasn't planning to go to that wedding anyway even if I was invited. The only way I would even want to go is if I knew the bride was going to trip and fall walking down the aisle.  I don't want to go anyway so that should be that. Except my dad is totally pissed off over it. He says he isn't going to go either. I don't want him to miss his brothers wedding over this stupid petty ->-bleeped-<-. I told him I don't want to go and that not being invited didn't hurt my feelings in any way. But he's taking it very personally and told his brother none of us would be at his wedding. I appreciate the fact my dad wants to defend me but I feel bad that he's going to miss his brother's wedding because of something I don't even care about.
Julia

[Dena]

I don't know if it's to late but you could tell your father to attend the wedding but after the wedding the two of you could spend some quality time together doing something both of you would enjoy more. Explain to your father that someday in the future it's likely your uncle will regret not inviting you to the wedding and you are patient enough to wait for that day.

[HappyMoni]

Your Dad is doing what he thinks is the right thing. I would feel exactly as he does. If someone doesn't see one of my kids as acceptable, I would not  go either. It is certainly not any fault of yours.
Moni

[arice]

I agree with Moni.

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[elkie-t]

You said your dad is a cop. That's part of their mentality, you offend one of them, you have to deal with the whole pack

[AnonyMs]

Echoing what others have said, it's not about you at this point. I'd probably do the same thing for the same reason if I was in his situation.

[JillianC]

I agree with Moni and everyone else.  You're uncle insulted your Dad by even bringing it up to him.  He feels disrespected and probably hurt that his brother could ask him to leave you out of the wedding.  It sets a bad precedence that you should not be included in family gatherings and that you are something to be ashamed of.  If anything this is proof that your Dad supports you and that he is willing to fight discrimination against you.

[Lady Sarah]

Julia, if your dad is so angry about the whole thing, ask him to just go somewhere fun with you. You might never get his mind off it, but you can make him a bit less miserable on the day of the wedding. Make sure to show him how much you appreciate his support.

[Janes Groove]

If I had a kid, I would feel the same way.  How could your dad have any fun at a wedding knowing that he had been disrespected so badly by his own brother and resenting it the whole time he was there?  This is you uncle's doing.

The only way I would even want to go is if I knew the bride was going to trip and fall walking down the aisle. 

LOL.

[Ryuichi13]

I DO have a kid, and it would be the same as if my kid wasn't invited because of the color of her skin! (She's mixed). 

How terrible that bride must be to not invite a future family member to a wedding!  Is she also never going to invite you to family events for the same reason?  What a hateful person that bride must be!

I would just tell your Dad to ask his brother for a copy of the wedding DVD...and make sure that he takes his brother out for a real great bachelor's party!

Ryuichi

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[FTMax]

I agree with dad. For any kind of event like this where the whole family is invited, you can't exclude one person for no legitimate reason and expect me to be cool with it. You either invite and accept that the whole family will be there, or you get no one.

It would be another matter entirely if you had some active family feud going on with the bride. Then I definitely wouldn't want you at my wedding. But something as petty as the idea that you might potentially upstage her if people knew you were trans? That's ridiculous.

You should take dad out for lunch and have a fun day instead of either of you even thinking about that stupid wedding.

[Lexira]

Honestly I'm just over here wanting to cheer.

By deciding not to go, he's making a solid statement. He's saying he loves his daughter a lot more than he cares about conforming to his family's prejudice, and he'll be there to protect you when less petty things come around too. It's just about the most beautiful "I love you" I've heard in a while.

Take that man out to ice cream or whatever he loves! And there's truly no need to worry- a man who can stand on his character in a time like this isn't a man who blames others for his own decisions. He probably feels excellent with his decision, and a lot more satisfied than he would have going to a wedding with people like that.

You both win, and win HARD.

[Rachel_Christina]

You are starting of your marriage into the family by being a XXXXX. Well done her.
If I was your dad id get his brother to see straight.
I wouldn't marry into anyone with a bigoted mind like this

[Ryuichi13]

I DO have a kid, and it would be the same as if my kid wasn't invited because of the color of her skin! (She's mixed). 

How terrible that bride must be to not invite a future family member to a wedding!  Is she also never going to invite you to family events for the same reason?  What a hateful person that bride must be!

I would just tell your Dad to ask his brother for a copy of the wedding DVD...and make sure that he takes his brother out for a real great bachelor's party!

Ryuichi

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On second thought, FORGET about asking for the DVD, burn it if they give him one!

I think I'd never go to ANYTHING she hosts, EVER!  I hope your Dad feels the same!

Great one, Dad!  Score 10,000 points for Gryffindor! [emoji106]

Ryuichi

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