Hi Newgirltx,
You bring up some interesting points. The dating aspects of your post don't really apply to me as my partner and I have been together for thirty plus years and are not looking to change this. While some hold to keeping stealth, even in their relationships, we try to have no secrets between each other. It is a matter of choice and it works for us.
The quandary of what a Transgender woman is has caused me much angst. I wrestled long and hard to accept that I am Transgender and that I could live with it. It almost killed me. Now that I can accept that I am a Trans woman, the distinction between CIS and Trans designator loses significance to me. I am happy being me, something that was not a common part of my life in the past. I present as a woman and interact with the world as a woman. I feel and see myself as a woman and live my life as a woman. When I stopped being concerned about the designator before "woman" I have been able to live, experience, contribute and find happiness. When I am laughing with or crying with a sister, sharing lives and holding each other up during common struggles it makes no difference what each other's internal biology suggests. At that point it makes no difference of cis or Trans, we are both women and doing what is truly important in life. Some may consider all this as syntax or personal perspective but over the past few months I have been given the opportunity to join in some woman's groups that share deeply personal life stuff; things that they would never discuss with a man present. I felt honored to be able to share in such intimate revelations. Had I considered myself to be a cis man, even with a femine heart, I would have felt wrong and a fraud, an imposter taking advantage of a trust. But I am a woman and I belonged there.
It is quite late here and I have been rambling, please forgive me if I have offended anyone.
Anne
