I have lived with this pain for almost 50 years now. I have experienced the usual moments of crisis. I have overcome them all, stayed strong, and kept my horrible secret from everybody, including my wife of 29 years. For most of my life I have thought I was perverted, disgusting, or mentally deranged, or had any number of socially unacceptable diseases. Then one day, about 6 months ago, I had my last crisis. I reached that point where I could no longer continue down the path of secrecy and deceipt, and I had to accept who I really was, or more genuinely ""what I was".
It has taken many months of therapy, since then, for me to realise that I have none of the above socially unacceptable problems. I am quite simply transgendered.
The realisation that I am a transgendered individual is all powerful. I am actually proud to admit my GID. I did not ask for it. I fought it for ~50 years, but now I am no longer in pain because I can freely admit it to myself and others, and I have begun to revel in my new purpose in life, and am excited about my impending journey. It is a blessing in disguise (pun intended).
I recently contacted my local (N. California) transgender community, for help with electrolysis and doctors etc.. and I have to admit that I am overjoyed at the outpouring of love and support I am receiving. I am truly not alone any more. Thank you all for your great support. I hope I am finally going to find the friendships I have craved all my life, and never had.
Once I could admit to being truly transgendered and not 'diseased' in any way I told my wife everything. She is now avidly studying all she can about being transgendered. I am very lucky to have such a supportive and understanding wife who says she is prepared to stay with me as long as possible on this journey. I know that many of you are not so lucky.
This is my first post here, and hopefully the first of many. I hope I did not violate any rules.
Hugs and Kisses to you all.
Jenny
