dysphoria of the mind but not body

[MissKairi]

Hi everyone.
So I'm coming up to three weeks on hrt and I finally feel 'normal' no more arguing in my head about gender.
BUT I have zero body dysmorphia.
I don't particularly like my male body but I don't feel like I was born in the wrong body.
I feel like my mind is female and my mind is also not bothered about my body.

So, how on earth can I be transgender when only my mind wants to be female but doesn't care if my body is?

Doubts by the dozen.
I know if I stop taking hrt those insane dysphoria voices will return and start arguing about what sex I am.

Going a bit loopy here

[Deborah]

I have exactly that same experience.  A while back I was doing DIY HRT and after about a year, with minimal dysphoria, I stopped the HRT.  As you said, the dysphoria came back, raging even worse than before. 

So I don't really doubt that I'm trans despite this seeming contradiction.  I also don't really know why it works this way for some of us.  Sorry :-(.

What I'm doing though is continuing the HRT, growing my hair, and otherwise just living on a fine line right in the middle.  For me at the present time this is the path of least resistance and it leaves my mental state several orders of magnitude better than before.  Also, with the HRT changes so far I get addressed as ma'am often enough without putting forth any effort that it fills my need for affirmation.


Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote

[Shellie Hart]

I have always been female-minded and always known I should have been born in a girl's body. HRT has benefited me in that I can keep my mind on the better things in life and accomplish what I should. I don't obsess on 'what should have been' as I did years ago. I don't know, life is so difficult and thinking on what should have been just adds to the depression I have always endured. It's a tough life lesson. Good discussion, though...

[jennie.ayana]

I've been in HRT for about 2 years, >>well had been. I stopped for about a little over a  month now...can't wait for my Dr. appt (anyways that's a diff. story)

While everyones symtoms and/or reactions are different..I too experienced an overall calmness and tranquility. I'd like to think irs more mental than physical. My therapist said it was maybe because subconciously I know I'm doing something to move forward, even though I'm not transitioning publicly. So the feelings of dysphoria were more or less not there..but now..that I haven't taken HRT...holly crap!
All the feelings of insecurity, loneliness, of inadequacy are back..

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[KathyLauren]

So, how on earth can I be transgender ... ?

Here is your answer:

I feel like my mind is female

That is the definition of transgender: male body and female brain.  (Or any other combination where the mind and body gender don't match.)

There is no rule that says you have to have cripling body or social or expression dysphoria to be trans.  There is no such thing as "not trans enough".  You don't have to have every type of dysphoria, and what you do have doesn't have to be crippling for you to be genuinely trans.  It's not a contest.  If your mind gender and body sex don't match, then you are trans enough.

My dysphoria was mostly about gender expression, with social dysphoria second and body dysphoria a distant third.  I have solved the first by coming out and presenting as feminine, and I am well on my way to working on the second.  Only now am I starting to be aware of the third.  It's there, but it's not strong.  I don't hate my body.  I just wish it were shaped a bit differently and it didn't produce distracting hormones that had to be suppressed.

[Maddie86]

There is no rule that says you have to have cripling body or social or expression dysphoria to be trans.  There is no such thing as "not trans enough".  You don't have to have every type of dysphoria, and what you do have doesn't have to be crippling for you to be genuinely trans.  It's not a contest.  If your mind gender and body sex don't match, then you are trans enough.

Yes! this! one reason I held off so long on transitioning is because I didn't know if my feelings were strong enough. I watched a lot of youtube videos and one was "am I trans enough to transition?" and they had a list of questions to ask yourself and my answers confirmed that I needed to take the plunge. Even though my dysphoria was a little more mild than others, it's been with me a long time, it started when I was 6 and at age 30 I still had it, it wasn't going away, I needed to embrace it and I did 

[gv2002]

It started about 6 too and I dress pretty much as a woman! Hair needs help and a lot more but I'm working on it!


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[gv2002]

like is as good as you believe in your self!


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[gv2002]

Life! lol


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[Dan]

Here is your answer:
That is the definition of transgender: male body and female brain.  (Or any other combination where the mind and body gender don't match.)

There is no rule that says you have to have cripling body or social or expression dysphoria to be trans.  There is no such thing as "not trans enough".  You don't have to have every type of dysphoria, and what you do have doesn't have to be crippling for you to be genuinely trans.  It's not a contest.  If your mind gender and body sex don't match, then you are trans enough.

My dysphoria was mostly about gender expression, with social dysphoria second and body dysphoria a distant third.  I have solved the first by coming out and presenting as feminine, and I am well on my way to working on the second.  Only now am I starting to be aware of the third.  It's there, but it's not strong.  I don't hate my body.  I just wish it were shaped a bit differently and it didn't produce distracting hormones that had to be suppressed.

Somebody here is in my head! Oh, well, it saves me time writing it all myself 

[Denise]

I have always been female-minded and always known I should have been born in a girl's body. HRT has benefited me in that I can keep my mind on the better things in life and accomplish what I should. I don't obsess on 'what should have been' as I did years ago. I don't know, life is so difficult and thinking on what should have been just adds to the depression I have always endured. It's a tough life lesson. Good discussion, though...

Shellie, have you been running around in my head?  This is exactly how I felt/feel.

I would go on with I was never upset about my male body, it is what it is.  I just knew it's not what I wanted and needed.

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[Cheaney]

I would go on with I was never upset about my male body, it is what it is.  I just knew it's not what I wanted and needed.

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That's how I feel/felt 95% of the time. The other 5% was when the dysphoria got ratcheted up to overload my brain. 

[Michelle_P]

Life! lol

Indeed. 

But, yes, we do need to believe in ourselves.  I call it self-acceptance, and it is a powerful thing to find.

I noticed that you never did get the Offishul Greetin' from one of us moderator folks.  Let me fix that.

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[MissKairi]

I've been wondering if staying on hrt will increase body dysphoria?
Pre-E I was female mind and didn't care about body.
Now i still don't care about body...90% of the time. The other 10% (like now, hence this post) it screams at me that I should look female to match my mind and i find myself agreeing.
I suppose it makes sense but I am curious to see what happens.

[Denise]

Everyone reacts differently to HRT.  Your reaction will be unique to you.  For me, T- blocker shut the voices right up.  E keeps then at bay.  I have had two p pangs of dysphoria in the last 4 months (both body shape related) but over all I'm at peace.

Now the issue is low level anxiety.  FFS/BA in a few months will take care of that.  Then we wait to see if GCS is necessary, but for now it's not on the schedule.

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[LizK]

I've been wondering if staying on hrt will increase body dysphoria?
Pre-E I was female mind and didn't care about body.
Now i still don't care about body...90% of the time. The other 10% (like now, hence this post) it screams at me that I should look female to match my mind and i find myself agreeing.
I suppose it makes sense but I am curious to see what happens.

I think what you are going through is quite normal. Two years ago I didn't think the idea of transition was real possibility for me. I figured if HRT is able to calm the storm in my head and heart then that will be fine and I can go on with my life. What I actually discovered is I  want my body to match how my mind feels. It seems more important to me now that it ever has been. Maybe its knowing that I can have this, that makes me want it even more, I don't know but there is no more lack of clarity about my path going forward.

[Shellie Hart]

Shellie, have you been running around in my head?  This is exactly how I felt/feel.
I would go on with I was never upset about my male body, it is what it is.  I just knew it's not what I wanted and needed.

Yeah, my head has always been a mess growing up. No one had a clue about my thoughts, but a few had hints. I had/have a really odd body shape for a male in that my legs are very long proportionally for my body, giving me a "leggy female" stature that wrecked my youth (see my picture). Simply, if I was a girl, I could have built a career as a leg model or something. As a teenager, women complimented my legs whenever I wore shorts and boys made fun. Very embarrassing and difficult then. Everyone made fun of me for my shape and it took a very long time to get over it and move on. Still, something very wrong happened at birth and I ended up with this appendage in my crotch that never seemed completely natural or right. My female brain has always been there and wouldn't shut up through marriage and church work where this kind of thing is not accepted. After my divorce over 10 years ago, my female-ness simply took over and here I am. Much calmer and accepting of myself and others as a result....