is it best to speak to people individually ?

[Wirral girl]

So on Monday evening I'm going for a meal at my parents house. As well as my parents my sister and her husband will be there, maybe a couple of their kids. My gay cousin is visiting. Also visiting is my brother in law's sister, who I don't think I've met, and a friend of hers.

What I want to do is to come out to everyone over pre-dinner drinks. My family will not be expecting, but they are liberal, accepting of difference, so the worst that can happen will not be anything too bad.

The alternative of trying to speak to people in ones and twos would be logistically trickier. But I can see that it might allow better, more intimate conversations to take place, and avoid the risk of anyone feeling uncomfortable about me doing this when guests are present. Maybe if I arrive in good time, speak to my mum or my sister privately first, and take things from there.

I'm not nervous, my transition's going as well as I could hope for, I've not looked back once. This will be the first of three reveals : in a couple of weeks time I'm visiting my brother's family, and two weekends after that I'm meeting up with my other sister and her partner.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I would come out to my parents at least a few day before coming out over dinner. The goal is already established for the meal and to change the subject becomes the primary focus of the meal isn't a polite thing to do without your parents permission. Your parent might find this acceptable or they might suggest a better time but they should be involved in the decision.

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[Laurie]

 Hi Wirral girl,

  Welcome to Susan's Place. I'm Laurie, mtf  and nobody of import. I just wanted to greet you and say hi. Come on in and take a look around. See if you like what you see and if you do like it here stick around. we're here to help where we can.

   I would have to agree with Dena (sometimes it happens) I would first talk with your parents and after they recover check with them to see what they think about you coming out to the others and when the best time for it might be. If I was to be doing it as you propose I think I would wait until after the dinner when everyone is fed and relaxing. That way if someone were to be umm less than accepting it would not have disturbed the dinner with the commotion it may cause. What ever you decided to do I hope it all goes great for you. (it's better that way)
Again welcome to Susan's,

Hugs,
   Laurie

PS Perhaps I can suggest you make your way over to the Introductions forum and create a intro for yourself providing us a bit more information about yourself so we can get to know you better and greet you properly.

[FTMax]

I would tell as many folks individually as possible. You have much less control over the dialogue in a group setting.

[Wirral girl]

Thanx for the replies, really appreciated.

Things resolved themselves on the day because some folks were coming back from a sporting event and eating at a later time. So there was time before the meal to speak to mum, then we went up to break the news to my father, both were surprised but cool with it and pleased that I'm so happy and positive within myself. Over dinner I came out to my gay cousin and her partner and they were smiles, privileged to be there. I agreed with mum not to say anything to my sister tonight as she was taking care of her guests and getting them fed, so that will have to wait to a later date.

It wasn't too stressful at all, but psychologically that's still a big bridge that I've crossed tonight. And that's a good feeling. 

[DawnOday]

Take them all on at once. Just have the facts available to reference.  A good start is looking at the WIKI above. They have several letters pertaining to comming out. Just remind everyone that they chose their direction and you have chosen yours.

[Charlotte F]

It wasn't too stressful at all, but psychologically that's still a big bridge that I've crossed tonight. And that's a good feeling. 

Congratulations - that is definitely a big thing checked off.  I'm hoping my parents accept it as well when I tell them later next month