Hi Claire, thank you for your reply. Dr Hayes didn't make any promises about how the hormones would effect me. What he said was more doctor like and based on evidence he had seen from other patients of his. I think he based his statement on statistics he had witnessed. He did seem genuinely surprised when I saw him after the first 6 weeks and told him there was zero psychological effect whatsoever. I guess I am a statistical anomaly.
Both my psychologist and I are now of the belief that psychological relief is a placebo effect, as you have mentioned, for people that WANT to transition and starting HRT is what will make that possible for them.
I fully understand that physical changes take place slowly. That wasn't my goal. It was my belief, reinforced by what the doctor told me, that HRT mental effects happen very quickly, even on a very low dose of estrogen, and when that didn't happen for me, my world fell apart. I placed all my hopes on the HRT "fixing" me. It was my last ditch effort of ever being a normal guy, or at least feeling like a normal guy.
Before starting hormones my levels were:
T - 29.7 nmol/l
E - 74 pmol/l
After 6 weeks on Estrogen:
T - 20 nmol/l
E - 378 pmol/l
I'm due to have another blood test next week before I see the doctor again the following week. But I expect my levels to be all screwed up now because I just stopped taking the hormones 2 weeks ago.
Maybe I would come to a group meeting sometime. I have never met another trans person in real life. My only interaction has been on this forum. I am not very good at meeting new people. I live very much inside my own head and have very poor people skills. I have never had any friends, so I don't know how to be social in any way. The thought of a group meeting terrifies me. Thank you for the offer, maybe in the future sometime.
Nobody.
