Hiyya NoName,
I'm sorry it's not working as expected for you.
The effects of HRT are a function of age, genetics, and a whole host of other complex factors. Hormones effect everyone very differently. The same is true of all women - many cisgender women can be exposed to estrogen for many years and only have mild feminisation effects and very little breast growth.
I think would be unusual for Jon to promise you any kind of immediate relief since it's so variable. I think the most you might expect to hear from him is that 'a lot of clients do report a fairly early initial sense of psychological calmness and relief as testosterone levels lower.'
A lot of medical journals also suggest that this initial psychological relief might be conflated with a placebo effect and the relief of finally beginning a medical transition in someone who is desperate for body congruence.
The main purpose of feminizing hormones is bodily changes, not psychological effects. Psychological effects are generally a secondary effect.
Transition endocrinology is indeed a bit of a 'set and forget' science as you say. The purpose is to gradually bring the hormones into the healthy female range (ideally around the pubertal range) and then wait for feminizing effects on the body. It's a long term game. There are also obviously some 'male' features that can't ever be reversed after the initial puberty. For some other people, the objective is not necessarily full transition, but just to reduce the androgenising effects of testosterone.
The body can go reasonably long periods of time with neither Estrogen nor Testosterone without any adverse effects (as menopausal women do), and for this reason sex hormone endocrinology is rarely an urgent form of medicine. This is why it's unusual to get an 'urgent' appointment, like you would if you had surgery that was necrotic or infected, or had some other serious surgical complication. But if you do want to see someone urgently about your hormones, I'd recommend Taylor Square. They should be able to fit you in within a few days.
I'm sorry it's a long trip to get to Dr Hayes' office. That's an effect of transgender healthcare being such a non-mainstream area of medicine. As you settle into your new hormone regime, hopefully you won't need to visit very often, or can get supplementary help from a local physician? I have learnt pretty well how to manage my own hormones over the last few years. If needed, I also found a number of GP's who will prescribe hormones when I disclose my status - but I look female and have a female Medicare card (I do however, find their incessant curiosity about my surgery a bit demeaning).
The other thing worth mentioning is that the emotional effects of estrogen are not always completely obvious, even when your brain is undergoing significant changes. It might only hit you that you've changed a little when your sitting at the beach bawling your eyes out about a beautiful orange sunset!
About the admin staff at Dr Hayes' office - if you give it some time, I think you'll find they are a lot more empathetic than you might think. They deal with trans people all day, every day. But they do run a tight ship. Hayes' appointment book is full months in advance, and he works hard to keep costs low for his clients.
Out of interest - what is your testosterone level?
Also - Would you like to come to a group meeting at the Gender Centre sometime?
Hope it improves for you.
Claire
