Bathroom blues

[Pao]

I really didn't think this would be an issue. I don't bind at work. I am not out at work. I have only been on T for 3 months and the last month at a half dose. I don't have any outward changes yet. Well none visible with clothes on. I work at a university that has gender expression as a protected class.

Last week I was told I couldn't enter the female bathroom by a lady at administration and this morning I tried to use the gender neutral bathroom, but it was in use so I started walking towards one of the gendered bathrooms. Dude comes out of neutral bathroom and gives me a horrified look and says "No That's the Men's room!"

[mm]

Somehow others are seeing you as a guy, is it how you dress or something else.  The in between state was the hardest for me never knowing if I was seen as a guy or girl.  I tried to look and be the gender I wanted to be taken as but did not always end up working that way.  When a security guard pointed me toward the men's one day was when I decide that is where I belong.  Good luck to you.

[Pao]

I am typing from my phone so I wasn't very clear,  it the guy this morning was all freaked out because I was heading towards the men's room. That is what has me annoyed. Well and the fact that the cis people will fight to have gendered restrooms,  it then they fight over getting the privacy of the gender neutral ones.

[FTMax]

It's tough to be in the early stages.

If women are telling you that you don't belong in the women's restroom, I would listen to them. Men by and large will say nothing to anyone in the restroom. I'm surprised that someone did say something to you. I'd take that as an exception and not the norm.

It does mean that he read you as female, but it's cancelled out by the woman that read you as male. You'll get a lot of that until you've been on T longer. I know that doesn't make it any easier, but it truly is just one of those things you have to take in stride for a while.

[HoneyStrums]

So, somebody, reacted badly, and your the one with the after effects? Were you startled?

Frustrating being in that, society wants me here and there. A swell as neither.
Sounds like society doesn't know what it wants.

Trying to follow rules, and balance, the emotional reactions of others is frustrating. But managing other peoples emotions isn't your responsibility. Following Rules is. So societies rules and emotions conflict, and your receiving the result.

[invisiblemonsters]

that's when you look at him and be like "i know." honestly, going into the mens room you need to act like you belong and like you know you're going into the right bathroom. it is all stuff you need to do until you "pass" and people don't say things like that anymore. being transgender is popular enough that he probably would get the clue and be more embarrassed then you or he would just be like "ok.." and leave it alone. it is awkward but you will most likely get more attention, etc. going into the womens washroom then going into the mens. i wouldn't worry too much about it.

[sarah1972]

I am in the same stage. Not allowed in the women's bathroom yet, but regularly reminded by people that the mens room is the wrong choice too, even if I do not wear anything obvious feminine.

I hope this passes and one day I can go into the ladies room without problems...

Gender neutral bathrooms are another big topic... I have noticed that they are primarily occupied by people not needing them. And for very long times too. On top it also is kind of a giveaway. I have caught myself a few times wondering why that person could not just use a regular bathroom. Strangely enough, mostly men... 

[elkie-t]

Been nonpassable and wearing skirt in both female and male rooms in each state along rt 66... my advice - go wherever line is shorter or where you plan to use in the future. If questioned by someone, just ask if they are 'bathroom police' or not

Edit: While wearing a skirt I went to men's room only once (it was occupied and I proceeded directly to a stall but the other guy minded his own business), not in each state... I went to ladies in each state with no problema.

[Pao]

A detail I forgot to add to the original post was that I am acquainted as a female to the guy who was in the neutral Bathroom. He is in maintenance and I am in grounds. The two shop buildings are next to each other. There was kind of a big deal about my getting the grounds job because I was the first "female" to be hired for the department. Lots of have a significant emotional investment in me being the "Girl" on the grounds crew. Lots of the guys I work around feel a need to put me in my place as a girl. The women feel like I am some sort of equality symbol. I would literally have to VERY openly come out to deal with this. I am not there yet. I was just walking to a gendered restroom because the neutral one was closed. I had no idea which one I was walking towards. The gender signs weren't visible from where I was standing. I wasn't trying to assert my identity. I was just trying to piss without 'causing a problem. I had to travel to this building to get to the gender neutral restroom. I really had to go. (I am one of those folks that avoids the issue if I can)

I also live in the deep south, usa. As far as I know (from experience of a transguy friend of mine) It is illegal for me to use the men's room. It hasn't been in the news, like the NC bathroom bills, but it is an issue. He had the cops called on him. I work for a state school. I am really don't want this to become a spectacle.

I was surprised the women saw me as Male. Like I said I don't have a lot of changes. My voice hasn't dropped. I had visible B cup boobs. She mostly just saw the hair on my legs, but I was freaked out, because unlike most people she didn't realize I was "female" after I said something to her. And I decided to try and use neutral restrooms now.

Mainly I am freaking out, because I really wasn't expecting all this hubbub yet. I feel like the flood gates are opening. I chug water all day, because of my job, I gotta pee. The neutral restrooms are always taken. I don't want to have to tell the guys on my crew about why I have to go to the bathroom on the other side of campus from our work site. But I don't want to frighten little old ladies that don't know me, away from the women's room. And I become overwhelmingly depressed when I think of coming off the T. Hence the reason I cut my dose in half.

[popdewd]

as far as passing goes, no one will question you once you start using the urinal, if you're  a master at peeing standing. 

[elkie-t]

as far as passing goes, no one will question you once you start using the urinal, if you're  a master at peeing standing.

There's a device called 'gogirl' to help. Sold at Amazon, Walmart and target. Also, there are a few others, similar devices...

[popdewd]

There's a device called 'gogirl' to help. Sold at Amazon, Walmart and target. Also, there are a few others, similar devices...

umm... it's bright pink and not particularly penis shaped so I am not sure it would help you pass.  I would recommend, if you can't afford an stp or packer, this method: https://web.archive.org/web/20040213142128/http://www.restrooms.org/standing.html

[elkie-t]

umm... it's bright pink and not particularly penis shaped so I am not sure it would help you pass.  I would recommend, if you can't afford an stp or packer, this method: https://web.archive.org/web/20040213142128/http://www.restrooms.org/standing.html

It's not for passing, it's for pissing

[popdewd]

It's not for passing, it's for pissing

What I meant is that it is kind of unwieldy large, bright pink, and decidedly not penis shaped, and you could possibly be outed if anyone sees your peeing from it.  You should just use an stp, or if you can't afford one, learn to pee standing up through the v-finger method. 
Also pissing standing is passing

[FTMax]

Y'all should drop it. If OP is having issues just walking into the right restroom without turning heads, I doubt he is going to slide up to a urinal right away and try peeing.