Conviction or not

[rmaddy]

Hi Steph, I'm mid 40s.  I have been trying to overcompensate in my male role by having a beard, meat diet, gaining weight to be less girly.  I hated that I felt this way, and I kind of hoped the feeling would go away, but it never has.  I keep rebounding, and the need to rid myself of facial hair and be thin, being more androgynous overpowers over time.  This time its been worse and is all I can think about.  I don't think I could transition fully, but I'm not ruling it out.  time to go back for more therapy seriously;(

Well, there's the answer to the "Am I transgender?" question.

The next part is not quite so easy.  There is no one way to be transgender and no one way to transition.  You can't figure out to manage your life by following someone else's path.  And, while SP is a great place to connect with others in similar circumstance, you can't leave your future up to a vote by total strangers.

[Bari Jo]

I do plan on transitioning slowly.  I've somehow been outed by guessing coworkers, but at least so far it's friendly.  I'm amazed that my struggle was apparent to others.  You think it's internal only, but it's not.  Others see it too, especially when you start doing something like weight loss and beard removal.