How does your dsyphoria manifest itself?

[Serana95]

Do you obsess about something like a body part, or girls you see? Do you ruminate? Do you have a general sense of angst? Is it a depression? Do the thoughts start as soon as you wake up or are they off and on?

What is dysphoria to you? How does it actually bother you?

When I feel and see my body hair I itch really bad and just wanna shave it all off but then it just grows back thicker in like 2 days.

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[aaajjj55]

Do you obsess about something like a body part, or girls you see? Do you ruminate? Do you have a general sense of angst? Is it a depression? Do the thoughts start as soon as you wake up or are they off and on?

What is dysphoria to you? How does it actually bother you?

Thank you so much for asking this question.  I could write a long rambling answer about the feelings of unease, envy of women and their lifestyles, wishing that my wardrobe was full of dresses, skirts and heels etc. etc. but other respondents to this thread have already articulated what I feel.  From time to time, we all need a reminder that our transgender desires are not a sick perversion but a genuine and often debilitating condition.

In my case, I think that dysphoria has two drivers.  One, the obvious one, is the ongoing need/desire to express my feminine side; the other is the need/desire to surpress it.  I have had trans feelings on and off throughout my life and yet, in my 20s when I lived alone and could have experimented in any way I wished, I did not indulge my desires.  Yes, there were a couple of occasions when I went out and bought outfits but the novelty soon wore off and purges followed.  Contrast that to now when, due to having a family, the trans feelings have to be well and truly closeted (not only because my wife disapproves but also as I have brought children into the world as a father and want to fulful that role as much as I can) but, guess what, the dysphoria is stronger than ever.  I think that all of us in this situation have, at some time, wished that we were single so that we could fully express ourselves but I do wonder whether, if I was in this position, the dysphoria would subside.

[Sam79]

For me, the dysphoria manifests itself in a number of ways.  The most persist is a constant feeling of sadness when I'm presenting as male.  Kind of like I'm at the constant threshold of tears, and could just burst out at any time. It's hard to focus or concentrate when I'm feeling like that.  Even if I get distracted enough to leave that state of mind, something always brings me back to it: a woman I pass on the street, someone calling me "sir," etc.  Sprinkled in with that feeling are other things: the occasional (sometimes frequent) loss of sleep, nausea, short temper, lack of confidence, etc.  I'm sure I could go on, but that's probably a good overview. 


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I feel a lot of the symptoms you get Erica. If I can keep myself busy or distracted I can almost completely forget about it, although that isn't so easy.

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[Serana95]

Thank you so much for asking this question.  I could write a long rambling answer about the feelings of unease, envy of women and their lifestyles, wishing that my wardrobe was full of dresses, skirts and heels etc. etc. but other respondents to this thread have already articulated what I feel.  From time to time, we all need a reminder that our transgender desires are not a sick perversion but a genuine and often debilitating condition.

In my case, I think that dysphoria has two drivers.  One, the obvious one, is the ongoing need/desire to express my feminine side; the other is the need/desire to surpress it.  I have had trans feelings on and off throughout my life and yet, in my 20s when I lived alone and could have experimented in any way I wished, I did not indulge my desires.  Yes, there were a couple of occasions when I went out and bought outfits but the novelty soon wore off and purges followed.  Contrast that to now when, due to having a family, the trans feelings have to be well and truly closeted (not only because my wife disapproves but also as I have brought children into the world as a father and want to fulful that role as much as I can) but, guess what, the dysphoria is stronger than ever.  I think that all of us in this situation have, at some time, wished that we were single so that we could fully express ourselves but I do wonder whether, if I was in this position, the dysphoria would subside.

I have the issue of when I "polish my spear" I feel an overwhelming flood of testosterone and get all like "no I'm not t I'm a manly man". Any advice for staying on track? I know I want to transition I just get nervous I'll regret it and then boom there I am again shaving my head and beating my chest like a gorilla.

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[Sam79]

I have the issue of when I "polish my spear" I feel an overwhelming flood of testosterone and get all like "no I'm not t I'm a manly man". Any advice for staying on track? I know I want to transition I just get nervous I'll regret it and then boom there I am again shaving my head and beating my chest like a gorilla.

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I found that used to happen to me but now that feeling barely lasts for a minute afterward.

Try not to under take such activities, you should soon find the urge to relents. From there you can concentrate on you.

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[Serana95]

I found that used to happen to me but now that feeling barely lasts for a minute afterward.

Try not to under take such activities, you should soon find the urge to relents. From there you can concentrate on you.

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That's why I really wanna start hrt I've heard it reduces urges. I already have a low libido for my biological sex, but sometimes it's still an unbearable monster I wish didn't exist.

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[Skyelish]

My Dysphoria has never been very strong, but when I do have bouts of Dysphoria it manifest itself as an intense feeling of discomfort and feeling like my own skin doesn't fit. It's a terrible feeling.

[Jacqueline]

When I feel and see my body hair I itch really bad and just wanna shave it all off but then it just grows back thicker in like 2 days.

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Hi Serana,

Welcome to the site.

I think a lot of us have issues with body hair. I know I do.

Have you started seeing a therapist? Then you can work toward your goal of HRT within the guidelines of the medical community.

If you have a second you should pop over to introductions and let us know a little bit more about yourself.

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With warmth,

Jacqui

[Serana95]

Hi Serana,

Welcome to the site.

I think a lot of us have issues with body hair. I know I do.

Have you started seeing a therapist? Then you can work toward your goal of HRT within the guidelines of the medical community.

If you have a second you should pop over to introductions and let us know a little bit more about yourself.

A Cautionary Note:
This is a public forum so please [remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out may retain information that you post.

We cannot ensure that any information you share on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. This warning is also listed in the Terms of Service listed below.

If you give out personal information on Susan's you are responsible for any consequence.

I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site. It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui

I just setup my appointment today but the waiting list is 4 months. Also thank you for the kind words it's very nice having a place to actually show my true self.

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[Jessica]

Mines been mild until I started thinking about how I can never bear children, to be a mother to my own baby, to nurse my own born.  I've been sobbing all day.
Kisses, Jessica 🙇‍♀️