When I was born, I was given a boy's name and a boy's toys, but in my entire life the number of people who have treated me as a male can be counted on one hand.
You might think that's nice, but it's been bizarre. I'm very affectionate, but I've never had any man feel threatened when I was cuddling with his girlfriend. People alternate between commenting on my extreme masculinity (one of the people counted on one hand) or my extreme femininity (the rest). I've had people ask me how I do it, why they can't sort me into any boxes.
I've never tried to be this way, and for some reason, I'm physically different too, though I have no idea if I'm intersex. My voice isn't deep, and I haven't broadened like all my male relatives have by this age. I have a deep appreciation for color - I can see shades even people born female don't perceive. I've hung out with people who by reputation were misogynistic and transphobic who just . . give me a pass, don't care. Nobody seems to actually bother even categorize me, they just set me aside as a non-threat.
I get touched a lot. I'm not against it, actually, but people who aren't very affectionate seem to get the urge to just like - pat my head? (I'm short, and I think very cute.)
It's just really strange. I mean, the best way to describe it is that I'm not even approached as a human to be judged. It's like people just treat me like a friendly dog.
Since I'm transitioning to female .. it doesn't even feel like I'm really transitioning at all, because the social role I fulfill isn't even a gendered one. It just feels like a progressive rather than corrective action, and I don't think anyone will treat me any differently.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? Like, I've worked with the public, I went to public schools and public college, and people react to me this way nigh universally. I don't get it, and it's really affected my ability to even know what I am.
