Putting up psychological walls

[ImSomething]

Hey everybody,

So I've been developing this anxiety problem associated with my dysphoria over time. I've been trying to get everyone I'm out to calling me Renée and some people get it right literally all the time, but other people such as my parents call me Renée at most half the time. Over time I've developed this anxiety with being called my birth name related to the inconsistency of names and so now I have started to respond negatively to both my birth name and my chosen name.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at or asking. I think I'm just looking for a little guidance or some feedback as to what it sounds like is going on in my head. Because it's really bothering me a lot and upping my repression. ._.

[Tammy Jade]

My parents do it at well, I think it's common for the people who have known u the longest will take the longest to get use to the change. My parents are pretty good but it's always when they randomly yell out for something or when they are tired ect.

Be strong your chosen name is Renee is lovely they will get use to it in time


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[LizK]

I have the same issue with my family...I don't get misnamed or misgendered very often buy when I do you can guarantee its not a friend or acquaintance, its family.

I talked to my wife and daughters about it all as they would get quite distressed at times when they misused my name or pronouns. When it got better it got better very quickly and not only for me but for them as well. The oddness seemed to disappear after a little .

When we talked about why things were better and what they came up with was interesting.

I had suggested to them that once they stopped using my old name all together then it would be easier on them. So even when not around they use my correct name and pronouns so now it is second nature/muscle memory...yes my wife does mess up but she always corrects herself(I never stop her) and these happen less and less frequently. The whole situation begins to normalise and they forget about her because they never use it....

I am going to suggest the same to my parents the next time I stalk to them...I am sure it will go down like a lead balloon...but hearing them constantly misgender me does not make me want to talk to them.

[JoanneB]

I'm not presenting full time as female so for me getting mis-named in male mode does give me warm fuzzies. Especially since in male mode I am far from looking like a Joanne. In female mode the biggest offender would be my wife, who does try hard not to mis-name me but sometimes does. Usually it doesn't bother me and she is usually quick to correct herself. However, lately with me having a higher level of GD and dysphoria about my body in general and even genital dysphoria, which is new to me, getting mis-named yesterday by my wife hit me like a bolt of lightning. 

From what my support group members say, family are the ones that take the longest not to slip up. Which makes sense. It is a life long habit for them. It can take years

[KathyLauren]

I give people who have known me for a long time a fair bit of slack about my name.  It is hard to change decades of programming quickly. 

I am lucky that all the people around my try really hard and mostly get it right.  But even the best of them slip up.  My wife accidentally dead-named me the other day.  As I have posted elsewhere, I have even dead-named myself in public a couple of times!  If the person catches themselves and corrects it, I consider that a win.  Yes it jars and I get a flash of negativity, but it only lasts until I hear the correction.  If it is not done maliciously, I don't worry about it.