[Solved] Reality of GRS and the downsides long term(Convince me not to get SRS)

[krone6]

Solved: This was indirectly answered and it seems my hunch is true. Getting more real life experience with stuff and exploring things will help as well as finally dating. At least the surgery is its own thing and won't make me regret it since unlike GRS, I had personal to-my-core reasons for it that go beyond something sexual.

I want to preface this kind of topic that it may not be what you see on here often, though please be open minded and ask questions if you're confused. The main point of this thread is self-help and this section seemed to be the best place to put it. If I'm breaking any rules tell me. Also I'll be 25 soon and am a male by birth.

I've had an increasing dysphoria with my male genitalia since puberty which didn't become as obvious until 19. It felt and looked like I had someone else's genitals and every time I looked down in a shower I saw smoothness in my head even though reality said otherwise. At this point I've already got nullo surgery two weeks ago (as of now) and am super happy with the results so far, however the issue is I'm gender fluid and the girl part of me seems to have this thought I can still get GRS and still wants me to get it even though the boy side is fine.

Logically I can tell anyone why GRS isn't for me and why I'd have been depressed and regretted the surgery, though it doesn't seem to be enough to quiet that part of me. I understand I will never be born a girl and transitioning won't realistically be for me so what are the annoying, reality-check type of downsides to GRS that isn't usually talked about long term after things heal? For example I know dilating will be needed but what about other downsides or things I'm subconsciously glorifying or pretending is better than it is? Maybe some who have had this surgery for many years can chime in on how it changes over time, what may happen with some kinds of clothes, complications etc.

Hopefully this has been explained clear enough. I understand if you're a bit confused on the type of question as it's a strange one for me too. There's no doubt I made the right choice in surgery, however, so at least that part has been dealt with and my head's not loaded with thoughts like it was pre-surgery.

Thank you.

[Dena]

I am unsure exactly what your surgery involved but at this point, your options for creating a vagina may be somewhat limited depending on the available tissue. In addition, if the glans wasn't preserved, it's no longer possible to construct a functional clitoris.

As far as full GCS, dilation is the major issue. There are several people on the forum who for various reasons have had their vagina close up. Sometimes it was a dilation issue and other times it was because of the way their body healed. For those people a revision is possible but it's a good deal more complex.

Something to consider about having a vagina is your sexuality. In my case, my surgery healed properly and I would have no difficulty having sex however I am asexual and I am still a virgin. Unless you have a sexual attraction, you need to weigh the benefit of having a functional vagina against the pain, cost and time needed to maintain one. As I was young and didn't fully understand my mind or future at the time, I am glad I chose the path I did as it left my options open. Had it been available, a blind vagina might have served my needs just as well.

[krone6]

Thanks Dena. My surgery involved removing every piece of external genitalia and part of the inner root of the penis so I am not able to get GRS even if I tried, which is why I have this thread; to shush the girl side in me. From what friends tell me I'm asexual as well since I've always preferred cuddling more than having sex.

Knowing the issue with the vagina even with dilating has helped so if I get a few more posts like yours it should help enough on that part of me.

This is a curious question to everyone though do you think finding a female partner eventually and having sex with her may help calm these thoughts? I definitely know it's on the sexual side and from curiosity which is the primary reason I'd have regretted GRS, though have never dated or had sex with girls so I have no idea if it'd help at all.

[Dani]

In the past, nullo surgery involved a penectomy and castration with scrotal skin removed. There was no attempt at any type of vaginal depth or even cosmetic labia. I have never met a person who had nullo surgery, but pictures I have seen of a nullo patient showed only a urethral opening in the genital area. Everything  else was removed.

krone6,

If this is what you had done and you are happy with it, then good for you.

Each of us must decide what is right for our self. I know what is right for me. It just took me about 50 years to make that decision. I know I will never be a genetic female, but I can live the rest of my life as a woman and I am comfortable with that.

[Dena]

One thing that might help or hurt is looking at this web site. Asexuality is very complex and it wasn't until I came to Susan's that I understood what being asexual was to me. I think I fit into the Demisexual category and lack of opportunity for many years prevented me from exploring what little sexual side I have.

[Julia1996]

Oh wow. I didn't know they did that kind of surgery. I know the Romans did it to slaves but I didn't think anyone still did it. If this surgery made you happy then I'm glad for you. May I ask what made you decide to do it? I'm just very curious about it. Do many people do it?
Julia

[krone6]

Oh wow. I didn't know they did that kind of surgery. I know the Romans did it to slaves but I didn't think anyone still did it. If this surgery made you happy then I'm glad for you. May I ask what made you decide to do it? I'm just very curious about it. Do many people do it?
Julia

My main reason is the desire to be smooth while my second main reason is the dysphoria surrounding my genitalia and how it felt wrong to have what wasn't mine. Plus I've never wanted to use it for penetrative sex and thankfully never have to do that. All of it was just uncomfortable and sometimes painful and doing the safe corrective stuff wouldn't fix the root cause.

To everyone: It seems indirectly my question(s) were answered enough to give me insight on this. Since I've never dated and am still exploring life getting more real life experience is probably the only true thing that'll fix that side. Strange issue though at least I know the surgery won't be an issue as I go down that road.

[kelly_aus]

More than possible to create a vagina using a segment of colon and then create external structures using skin grafted from elsewhere. It won't be sensate though, as those nerves are now gone.

[krone6]

More than possible to create a vagina using a segment of colon and then create external structures using skin grafted from elsewhere. It won't be sensate though, as those nerves are now gone.

The point of the thread was to convince me NOT to get one as it wouldn't work for me and I'd regret it. This was already indirectly solved, though. It's probably just something I'll have to deal with until I do more things in real life and start dating before it finally calms down.