Help with transition

[Robin93]

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here, I'm finally starting my transition to female and have a few questions I'm hoping people can answer for me. Just a quick bit about me, I'm 24 a bit of a nerd and have had to hide my true gender my whole life.

First off I'm currently most dysphoric about my face in general, I just feel like I'll never pass, I think it's my big nose and lack of any knowledge of how to apply makeup. I was wondering if any of you can point me in the direction of where to learn how to apply makeup and specifically how to feminise my face.

Secondly I currently have really short hair and was hoping that someone might know if there's a way to make it grow faster, I currently see about 1-2cm growth per month which is really slow I feel.

Thirdly it's my voice, I have tried an app called VoiceUp which has some really good starting lessons for voice feminisation but just wondering if anyone knows of any good resources out there to help me. As hard as I try currently I still sound manly.

I'm 6ft and am wondering if anyone knows if hrt will reduce my height, I have heard about this would love to know people experiences.

I'm in the UK and if anyone can explain the best way for me to start my medical transition with the NHS that would be really helpful.

Sorry for all the questions but thanks in advance,

Robin Xx

[Tammy Jade]

Hi and welcomed to the forum.

Firstly one of the mods will probably be along shortly with the forum rules so have a good read when they do.

Now I can't answer all ur questions but I'll answer the ones I have experience with, keeping in mind everyone's transition is different so you will probably get different answers from different people.

1: without seeing ur face it's hard to comment but makeup, ear piercings and a good necklace can make a huge difference in drawing people's attention away from parts you are concerned about and highlighting features you think are more feminine.

As far as learning makeup I learned entirely off YouTube there are some really good makeup channels with good tutorials.

2: unfortunately (at least as far as I'm aware) there is no quick fix for hair however a good hair dresser can still make short hair look feminine with the right cut. Once u get to bob length it gets easier to grow out from there. Wispy bangs or even straight bangs tend to help hide a high forehead if that's a issue for you.

3: there are other people on the site who will have better answers..

4th loss of height is a bit of a myth, at least according to my endo.  You will loose muscle mass and that may affect the shape of your shoulders depending on how much muscle you have but HRT won't change your bone structure. Tho again I'm not speaking for everyone.

That said there are plenty of tall women out there anyway, and your height is only one of many things that might affect your passing. Once you have your look down and mannerisms down  your other feminine qualities will hopefully out way your height.

My experience is it's not one thing that makes you pass or fail, it's the combination of several factors, even many cis women have features that could be considered masculine.


5: can't help I'm from Australia

I hope some of this helps. Again welcome to the forum!!

-Mara




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[LizK]

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here, I'm finally starting my transition to female and have a few questions I'm hoping people can answer for me. Just a quick bit about me, I'm 24 a bit of a nerd and have had to hide my true gender my whole life.

First off I'm currently most dysphoric about my face in general, I just feel like I'll never pass, I think it's my big nose and lack of any knowledge of how to apply makeup. I was wondering if any of you can point me in the direction of where to learn how to apply makeup and specifically how to feminise my face.

Secondly I currently have really short hair and was hoping that someone might know if there's a way to make it grow faster, I currently see about 1-2cm growth per month which is really slow I feel.

Thirdly it's my voice, I have tried an app called VoiceUp which has some really good starting lessons for voice feminisation but just wondering if anyone knows of any good resources out there to help me. As hard as I try currently I still sound manly.

I'm 6ft and am wondering if anyone knows if hrt will reduce my height, I have heard about this would love to know people experiences.

I'm in the UK and if anyone can explain the best way for me to start my medical transition with the NHS that would be really helpful.

Sorry for all the questions but thanks in advance,

Robin Xx

Dear Robin

Welcome to Susan's

There is many different area's of help available her at Susan's. For most of us we probably start where you are by asking questions and reading what you can. Utube has some great tutorials on it for makeup and what clothes are suitable for what build you are. I am sure our English guys and gals will give you the finer details on how to start the process where you are.

Please feel free to drop by our Introduction Forum and tell us a little more about yourself. 

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[JoanneB]

Makeup - Practice, Practice, Practice. Simple, Simple, Simple.
There are plenty of How-To videos on YouTube these days. Most are way to glam for my tastes. Where to and how to contour for different affects will help to minimize some male features. What your hair length and style I think is even more important for minimizing the undesired features

Hair - I'm a wig person. Balding since I was 14. So having just the right hair length and style is easy.

Height - This formerly 6ft tall person is figuring in another 127 years I'll reach my goal height of 5'8" thanks to the ravages of gravity and time. Eight years of HRT has had very little to do with my slight shrinkage. I think part of it was just less fat feet boosting my height.

Voice - I have a far deeper voice then the typical male's. With some training I can get the pitch up a bit higher. There are voice therapists out there that can help. Again it comes to Practice, practice, practice. Not being full-time does take away a lot of the pressure and ability to practice.

I'm in the US. In the UK you have either the NHS hurdles, or private. From what I understand the NHS requires a year or so of Real Life Experience, RLE, before even starting any sort of medical transition, which includes HRT.

[Nina]

I remember my therapist saying this: how you see yourself in the mirror is always different than how others see you. We are our own worst critics. Happiness is when you start believing what people say, and when you can look in the mirror without critiquing yourself.

[Denise]

I remember my therapist saying this: how you see yourself in the mirror is always different than how others see you. We are our own worst critics. Happiness is when you start believing what people say, and when you can look in the mirror without critiquing yourself.

I can not stress what NJOttawa said enough.  I've been on HRT for 9 or 10 months and I look in the mirror and I still see my old self.  I still get "Sired" but if I put on different earrings, a tighter shirt/pants/skirt there's apparently no way to not "miss/Ma'am" me.

Hair - you want it faster?  This stinks, but wigs are your best bet.

Height - as Joanne said, sorry.  But I actually work with a few cis-females who are over 6 feet.  It's actually an advantage in business since they get some male privilege.

Make-up - Agreed - YouTube is your friend.  For me I've almost stopped wearing it until after FFS.  After FFS I plan on taking professional lessons to learn to do it right.  YouTube is wonderful, but I want the personal touch.

Voice - again YouTube is your friend.  One challenge I have is I still hear my old voice in my head and when I speak.  My voice coach (who I saw yesterday for the first time in about 2 months) thought I sounded "natural" and could still hear the 'maleness' but it was definitely going away.  Voice takes time...LOTS of time (12-36 months).

The one thing you didn't ask about was facial hair - START THAT PROCESS NOW!  It takes a long time.  Just like voice it can't be rushed.  Not only that, it's EXPENSIVE.

[LizK]

As for makeup one thing I did was pick one item and learn to master how to use it...in my case eyeliner, then I added Mascara, then amongst all this I added a foundation...and I just kept doing the basics over and over again until I could put it on smoothly and evenly, I have added lipstick and blush with eye shadows being the last as I wear glasses so it tends to get hidden behind them.

[Robin93]

I can not stress what NJOttawa said enough.  I've been on HRT for 9 or 10 months and I look in the mirror and I still see my old self.  I still get "Sired" but if I put on different earrings, a tighter shirt/pants/skirt there's apparently no way to not "miss/Ma'am" me.

Hair - you want it faster?  This stinks, but wigs are your best bet.

Height - as Joanne said, sorry.  But I actually work with a few cis-females who are over 6 feet.  It's actually an advantage in business since they get some male privilege.

Make-up - Agreed - YouTube is your friend.  For me I've almost stopped wearing it until after FFS.  After FFS I plan on taking professional lessons to learn to do it right.  YouTube is wonderful, but I want the personal touch.

Voice - again YouTube is your friend.  One challenge I have is I still hear my old voice in my head and when I speak.  My voice coach (who I saw yesterday for the first time in about 2 months) thought I sounded "natural" and could still hear the 'maleness' but it was definitely going away.  Voice takes time...LOTS of time (12-36 months).

The one thing you didn't ask about was facial hair - START THAT PROCESS NOW!  It takes a long time.  Just like voice it can't be rushed.  Not only that, it's EXPENSIVE.

Denise I meant to ask about hair removal in general, how much does it cost?, and does anyone know where I can get this in the UK?

[Tammy Jade]

Denise I meant to ask about hair removal in general, how much does it cost?, and does anyone know where I can get this in the UK?

I am paying $200 a hour for electrolysis, each session we get about 1 - 1 & 1/2 square inches done. Still on first pass, it gets quicker on the second pass apparently.

I believe that laser is quicker because they can cover more area each session but I can't have laser because of my hair colour. Laser won't work on blonde or grey hair


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[Anne Blake]

You have lots of good questions. One area that you have not mentioned is concerning support and therapy. You should be able to google lgbtq support groups in your area. They will be able to provide info for local sources for your questions. They may also be able to give you a safe environment to explore your identity. Good luck and safe journey

[Julia1996]

Hi Robin. Without seeing your face I can't really give you specific advice. But I can give you some suggestions. As someone suggested, YouTube is great for make up tips. Shading and contouring can help a lot to make your face look more feminine. YouTube has some really good tutorials on shading and contour.  Have your eyebrows waxed. Eyebrows can make a big difference in making you look feminine. I suggest you have it done in a salon because If you've never done it it can be hard. Just make sure you tell the person doing it you're going for a female look or you could end up with a "manscape" type wax which won't help you look more feminine.

Getting your ears pierced will also help you look more female. There's really nothing you can do to make hair grow faster. You will have to wear a wig until your hair grows out. I suggest a wig with bangs. The forehead can be a big giveaway.  I suggest you get a wig with an adjustible band that's snug and if your hair is long enough, pin your wig into your own hair. You really don't want it coming off of your head in public. I saw a woman's wig fly off her head and go blowing across a parking lot. As totally hilarious as that is, you don't ever want to be the person it happens to. And finally, get a wig in a natural color.  A neon pink or blue wig is a bad idea. For anyone! !

Your hands can also be a big giveaway. If your hands are masculine looking only wear clear or very light nail polish. Bright or dark colors draw attention to your hands. Be careful with acrylic or gel nails too. Really long nails will also draw attention to your hands.

I can't give you any advice about voice training. Thankfully I didn't need it.

Good luck and welcome to the forum.
Julia

[Robin93]

Hi Robin. Without seeing your face I can't really give you specific advice. But I can give you some suggestions. As someone suggested, YouTube is great for make up tips. Shading and contouring can help a lot to make your face look more feminine. YouTube has some really good tutorials on shading and contour.  Have your eyebrows waxed. Eyebrows can make a big difference in making you look feminine. I suggest you have it done in a salon because If you've never done it it can be hard. Just make sure you tell the person doing it you're going for a female look or you could end up with a "manscape" type wax which won't help you look more feminine.

Getting your ears pierced will also help you look more female. There's really nothing you can do to make hair grow faster. You will have to wear a wig until your hair grows out. I suggest a wig with bangs. The forehead can be a big giveaway.  I suggest you get a wig with an adjustible band that's snug and if your hair is long enough, pin your wig into your own hair. You really don't want it coming off of your head in public. I saw a woman's wig fly off her head and go blowing across a parking lot. As totally hilarious as that is, you don't ever want to be the person it happens to. And finally, get a wig in a natural color.  A neon pink or blue wig is a bad idea. For anyone! !

Your hands can also be a big giveaway. If your hands are masculine looking only wear clear or very light nail polish. Bright or dark colors draw attention to your hands. Be careful with acrylic or gel nails too. Really long nails will also draw attention to your hands.

I can't give you any advice about voice training. Thankfully I didn't need it.

Good luck and welcome to the forum.
Julia

Hi Julia you look amazing, here is a photo of me (no makup), sorry about bad lighting and fingerprints on the mirror, let me know if you think I have potential.

http://imgur.com/a/mcyu6

Thanks,
Robin

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[Julia1996]

Hi Robin. Yes, I think you have a lot of potential.  For 6 ft tall you have a very small frame and a very small waist Which is good. I don't think your features are super masculine either. Your forehead is large but bangs can help with that. You mentioned that you had a big nose but I don't see that in the picture. I think your nose is actually on the feminine side. Contouring would make it even more feminine looking. Your lips are on the full side which is good. I don't really see a very noticible Adams apple. Your hands are a bit large but I don't think you have "man hands" at all. With make up and hrt I think you could easily be passable. Hrt won't make you shorter but you're still young enough for it to give you some very good results. That's a cute outfit you have on too.

Julia

[elkie-t]

You look cute, with time and practice, you'll look even better. And the HRT should help a lot too.

Not guaranteed, but I've heard that taking biotin supplement might help for hair growth.


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[Robin93]

Hi Robin. Yes, I think you have a lot of potential.  For 6 ft tall you have a very small frame and a very small waist Which is good. I don't think your features are super masculine either. Your forehead is large but bangs can help with that. You mentioned that you had a big nose but I don't see that in the picture. I think your nose is actually on the feminine side. Contouring would make it even more feminine looking. Your lips are on the full side which is good. I don't really see a very noticible Adams apple. Your hands are a bit large but I don't think you have "man hands" at all. With make up and hrt I think you could easily be passable. Hrt won't make you shorter but you're still young enough for it to give you some very good results. That's a cute outfit you have on too.

Julia

Hi Julia,

I have taken some of your advice on board and here is my wig and makeup, gotta love a black and white filter

Robin

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[Robin93]

I have read that hrt should make my veins go away from the surface, can't wait to start it.

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[LizK]

Hi Julia,

I have taken some of your advice on board and here is my wig and makeup, gotta love a black and white filter

Robin

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Looking fabulous...the wig really changes the shape of your face

[elkie-t]

Posture... and you can try to pose for a photo a little bit as an S-shape, not straight I


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[Julia1996]

Hi Julia,

I have taken some of your advice on board and here is my wig and makeup, gotta love a black and white filter

Robin

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.
The wig and makeup make a big difference.  You look good. Once you start hrt you will look even better. The bangs look really good on you.

[Tammy Jade]

Hi Julia,

I have taken some of your advice on board and here is my wig and makeup, gotta love a black and white filter

Robin

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The wig makes a huge difference, also love the filter

You look great and HRT will only help even more.


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