Negative thoughts , past , dysphoria and silver lining

[myraey]

I know transgenders are a very troubled community on average. How do you deal with your own failures and your past or current issues. Especially if they are very significant in your mind. Years pondering about my gender identity certainly did not help in this regard. No my baggage is not even that bad. Others would say peanuts and extremely self absorbed. Everybody deals with this on some level. I am not Darth Vader evil and have not hurt anyone except maybe myself but It still gnaws on me. I am doing okay now but I still miss how much better I could have done. Or how much better I really should be doing. I stress about career failures and the social anxieties this gender business has caused me. For example as a teen guy, this gender stuff should not have cause me anxiety. I managed to function fine as a teen male but I still stressed about it. You still need to live now even if you have transgender issues or not have them. It's especially bad when I know I stress about things which are not even things. Like my user name . I find it beautiful but some creepy female murderer had this name. It should not matter and the name should be reserved for creepers but everyone else. These thoughts I get out of the loop quickly and stop thinking too much.

It has definitely taken a toll on all parts of my life. Sometimes I still stress the entire day and start doing OCD things in response. People say not to dwell in the past. But it is very difficult for me. I try avoidance and fill my mind with work . Also it goes in with the gender stuff. I miss out on a lot. A lot of this has not as much to do with transgender but it is related to it.

[Wild Flower]

I recommend seeing a psychiatrist, those are not only transgender issues, but psychological issues.

And to answer your question, past is written, mistakes happen, move forward with the future; learn from it.

You're only harming yourself with the thoughts, no one is going to care about you in life because of those issues (not saying you were searching for it). If you continue, then you're just making a bigger hole in the ground... and like all the optimistic people, they excuse the problems as "Personal Growth! My life is wonderful now! All things solve", yeah... just keep saying that; personal growth can be learn in one second, not 5-10-20-30 years into the future.

Choose your opportunity costs, cause the clock is ticking whether or not you make a choice.

[myraey]

I have talked to a therapist about this. It was useful. They were perhaps a bit overwhelmed with the gender stuff which inevitably came up. I have been to a separate gender therapist also which was more helpful in that specific area. Just some general mental health professional is good enough for this. If things get worse I will seek these out again. But for the time being I try to work on things my self. I don't think a few hours with anyone really will make much difference. I am often busy as well and I doubt I would have that covered by insurance.

[Wild Flower]

I have talked to a therapist about this. It was useful. They were perhaps a bit overwhelmed with the gender stuff which inevitably came up. I have been to a separate gender therapist also which was more helpful in that specific area. Just some general mental health professional is good enough for this. If things get worse I will seek these out again. But for the time being I try to work on things my self. I don't think a few hours with anyone really will make much difference. I am often busy as well and I doubt I would have that covered by insurance.

I meant an MD. I haven't dealt with a therapist yet. I have a psychiatrist and starting a psychologist (I'm going to see next month). I take it as dual approach to be honest; I respect the psychiatrist as an MD, but I think a psychologist can significantly help me too. I feel like my psychiatrist isn't getting to root of my issues, and just prescribing me general stuff to help me. It's not anything against him, like you said... bit overwhelm . But what he gave me is a middle ground on certain aspects, but not really "fix" yet.

I have good insurance.