Quote from: Laurie on August 30, 2017, 03:49:28 AM
Hi Norma Lynne,
I too suffer from vanishing family syndrome. I officially lost two more this week, eight if you could the family that one takes with her. And yes, I cried, and hurt, and didn't want to talk to anyone. I have one sister left and she accepts me. It would be bad if she didn't seeing how she lives with me and has nowhere else to go. One of her son's and his wife, but we have other disagreements and maybe one uncle and his wife. I really stinks when we cannot be accepted by family. But as my therapist pointed out today. I have a new family, now. That new family is all you good people here at Susan's Place. He knows how involved I am here and how much everyone here has helped keep me sane. Frankly I believe not being able to access Susan's would be a very bad thing for me. I like it here too much.
But I digress (again). I'm sorry you are hurting, Norma. It's good that you have Bari Jo nearby and wanting to be your friend. I've met a few from Susan's myself and I found it to be one of the most rewarding things I've done. It is really nice to meet them face to face and talk with them directly. Keep that relationship going if you can.
And of course you can always come here and get support for what ails you.
Hugs,
Laurie
I don't know. But the first thing that comes to my mind is at least you had the chance to see if they would accept you. I did not even know I was trans until after about a year living with my new wife. My mom passed on moving day. I rented the truck to move out of the house I was living in for a year after my first wife left me. On the way from Orange County to Hemet to pick up my things I get a call from my sister saying my mom passed. My sister continued to used my moms bank account after she passed and over drew it. And because my name was on her account just for that reason I got to pay for it out of the little money my mom left me. After that I knew my sister had changed for the worse. I eventually had to cut ties after she called me something that just did not sit well with me. She still does not know I am trans. The only family left in my life is my nephew and he has done the same thing to his mother as I did. Cut all ties and can not speak with her anymore and has agree with me that she is wrong in the head. This is super hard because my sister and I were super close at one time. It used to be that if she had not heard from me in a while she would hunt me down. And just before I cut all ties, I tied so hard to start up conversations with her and giving here all my contact info on Facebook multiple times with no answer. The one day she posted crap on Facebook that I could not take her anymore. So I blocked her and cut all ties. Right after I talked to my nephew and got the I told you so speech and that he had already done the same. And she probably will never know I'm trans.
So just to get it out because it has been on my mind lately and probably part of what has been making me depressed and crying lately is the last time I lost everything.
In November of 2008 my wife at the time, the next day after an argument says she is leaving me. A month later she leaves the house. So I stay living with in the house with her 3 sons for the next year until the bank kicks us out and gives me cash for keys. As I could not stay and afford the house. The house went into foreclosure. I met my new wife online and on the second date. I was on my way to meet her at a hockey game in Anahiem. It was raining, I hydroplaned, lost control and thought I saved it and as I was sliding to a stop on the side of the road and my truck turned a little and the wheels caught something and I flipped it once. So that day I lost my truck. I did email the tickets to her from the side of the road while I waited for the police and paramedics and insisted she go. She took her sister. Soon after that I was laid off from my job. I sold everything I could before moving. All I took was my bed and a couple boxes of personal stuff. So by the time I left I lost everything monetary. And then as I said before on moving day my mom passed. So I showed up to my new girls house with just my bed having lost everything else to start the new chapter. I should have nothing to complain about. I have everything I need now because of my new wife and life.
I think I am so used to losing things if I lost it all again I don't think it would affect me all too much.
The other thing that affect my mind it when I lost my little brother. I don't remember anything from like a week before and 2 weeks after. Here is the story of January 1988
I just got home from work. My brother wanted to go to Camelot ( a mini golf place about 3 blocks down the road. Him and 2 of his friend hop in the truck. On the way I somehow lost control. Veered to the right and came back to the left and hit the 4th pole in of a freeway overpass. You can look it up where it happened if you want. In Anahiem. Going eastbound on La Palma Ave and the 57 freeway. My bros 2 friends were thrown out of the back and had minor injuries. My brother was thrown out of the truck and broke his neck and died instantly. I was thrown to the right but still in the truck. If we were wearing a seat belt I would have been crushed between the steering wheel and the engine. The engine was where the seat was. My brother would have survived if he would have had his seatbelt on. I was in a coma for 2 weeks. At that time they told my mom they do not know if I will wake up. And if I did wake up, they don't know if I would be a vegetable or not. And I f I woke up and was not a vegetable, they don't know if I would ever walk again. My poor mom at the time lost one son and did not know if she would still have me or not. Also my family heard the sirens from the house and could see the lights from the house. I was told somehow they knew it was us and walked down to the accident. It was a block away. Took me a while to stop blaming myself. Being in a coma, I missed my brothers funeral. But I was in a mini truck club at the time. A pretty big one and I was told everybody in the club showed up for his funeral and I guess it was an impressive caravan to see. My brother and I have always loved custom cars and etc.... so he would have loved it.
My dad. What to say. Every time I would go to see him he did nothing but bitch me out. That's not good enough. Or this is not good enough. Never could do anything to his satisfaction. When I was younger. But old enough to understand, he would never help me out financially even when he was supposed to because that could possibly, maybe help my mother in some way so he never would. So my mom couldn't and my dad wouldn't. So I quit going to see him. My stepmother who actually outed me to my mom(another story) ended up divorcing my dad. He was the biggest a hole that I have ever met. So I don't know how she lasted as long as she did. So I lost touch with him. At one time I heard he would move to follow my sister to Arizona and back. He tried to contact me at one time. I actually think it was his girlfriend at the time who was trying. And I ignored the letters. So I lost touch. I am sure he has passed by now but I can't find any info anywhere.
So I am going to make a new family. Blood does not make a family for me. I have been hurt by blood worse than past friends.
So if you want to be part of my family. I have plenty of openings. I would be happy to be your sister. Come visit anytime. You will be treated like true family.
Love always,
Norma Lynne
Ps my new avatar is not me but thought it would be funny.
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