Here's an update of what been happening in my life while I've been away. First things first, I'm on the road to finally starting testosterone! I got a job and saved up to pay off the therapist, continuing to see her, and I found an Endocrinologist for the hormonal therapy. I go in as a new patient the 13th of September, after that blood work, and I find out if I can be on testosterone! I can't believe it's taken 4 years to finally get here, but here it is. Now I have to save up for top surgery and a hysterectomy.
One more thing that I would like some help with. So 6 years ago I was a freshman in high school, and this is when I realized I liked girls. I met the girl that was just perfect, I won't say her name for her own privacy, but the last time we spoke was the beginning of my Senior year with the last words "I can't love you the way you love me." Now I never understood what she meant at the time cause I never pushed her to do anything with me. I never held her hand, or tried to kiss her, nothing. Cause when I was around her my heart would beat fast, I'd stutter, and I would do some weird hand movements. But I couldn't go throughout my day without seeing that beautiful smile of hers. She hasn't spoken to me since, I was basically ghosted, I never felt such pain. It's been 2 years since then and a few days ago I met her and she did my first tattoo. I tried to play I cool, but dear lord it was AMAzING seeing her again. I had asked to hand out with her and she said she was down. I invited her to see IT with me when it comes out and she won't respond. I don't know if I should leave it at that, or if I should message her about it. Though I don't want my hopes up, I'm fine with out being with her in the dating way, but I'd like for her to stay. Any advice?
