I have my first therapy appointment tomorrow. Going back and forth between being excited and freaking out.
I'm excited because I'm finally taking the first steps of transition!
I'm freaking out because, ugh, why does therapy have to be so expensive?! Even with her giving me a discounted price because I'm low income, I don't know how I'm going to afford this.
Hopefully I can get my letter after only a couple sessions.
I'm also a very private person by nature and I've never talked about any of this trans stuff with anyone in depth before, so I feel like opening up is going to be especially difficult. Definitely going to be a battle between opening up to get my letter and my usual response to personal questions which is "why is it any of your business?"
And finally, I'm losing my excuse to put off coming out. Which is probably the biggest cause of my anxiety. I wish it were possible to transition without actually coming out. Disappear for a few months, then move to a new city where nobody knows you. Sigh, I know that's not possible, hopefully the therapist can help with these anxieties.
