When I was 15, my sister worked at the Minnesota Renaissance Faire and we went to visit her. Seeing all the women moving about in their period accurate costumes sparked a dream in me to one day attend a Renaissance Faire in a similar costume. Well this past weekend, at the invitation of a friend, I finally realized that dream! Of course the experience was amazing, I was properly gendered throughout and if anyone did clock me, they didn't let on and I didn't notice. Even got a few seconds to flirt with the super cute knight after the jousting tournament. All in all a great day, definitely better than I even expected. I did have one revelation in particular though that I found quite freeing and affirming.
Like any other county or state fair, these Ren Faires usually have different games and some of them are feats of strength type games (High Striker, Jacob's Ladder, etc.). This faire was no different. In the past, walking past these games in male skin, I felt an odd pressure to take part in these games. An internalized need to prove how manly I was, how I fit in as a male, etc.
However, this time my experience was very different. While my sister and I were in a shop looking at dresses, I noticed the Jacob's Ladder game next door. As I watched a guy try to climb that swiveling rope ladder, I noticed I wasn't feeling that same pressure. I was there in a dress, no way could I try that game. But more importantly, I didn't want to and definitely didn't feel a need to. I was a a realization of another part of my former male persona that I'm able to let go of. It's ok for me to not be burly and strong. I can be more vulnerable and weaker without shame or fear. The feeling was truly eye opening for me. I even stopped my sister long enough to tell her what I was feeling. It was so great!
So I know "Pictures or it didn't happen" right? Well here you go, here's a picture of me in costume at the RenFaire on Saturday:
