Quote from: melissa90299 on December 08, 2007, 05:59:05 PM
I think it is easier for an FtM to live without cissexual privilege than a MtF. Men do not get scrutinized like we do and homophobic men, the bane to the existence of the poorly presenting MtF, could give a rot less than about whether or not an FtM looks like a man or a butch woman.
I see FtMs getting most of their support from the lesbian community. That kind of support does not exist for MtFs. Gay men tolerate trans women but do not understand us. They think that we are "changing our sex" to make it easier to get men. I don't know how many gay men i have met who don't get the fact that a trans woman would be a lesbian. So other than than the fact that it would be very frustrating to always here ma'am when you want to hear Sir, I think it wouldn't be devastating to deal with.
it's easier in terms of the fact that the vast majority of transphobic discrimination and violence is perpetrated against transwomen.
i don't know about others, but the fact i am seen as a woman instead of a man is devastating for me. i have nothing at all against the queer community, but i am tired of the 'dyke' stares and comments. i don't like going out with a woman and being seen as her lesbian lover.
i am not a dyke. i am not a butch. i am not a woman period.
the experiences of transmen and transwomen are different. one does not have it better or easier than another.
unpassable transwoman (those who don't look like women, for those who dislike the term 'passable') are more likely to face transphobia.
unpassable transmen have no way of declaring their manhood other than vocalizing to people that they are male. there is nothing an unpassable transman can do to make it clear they are presenting as male.
testesterone takes a more savage toll on a woman than estrogen on a man. thus, many of the effects of testosterone on transwomen cannot be rectified and are hard to overcome.
transmen do not have the option of truly fixing their bodies. the options available leave a guy with poor results. even the best outcome (meta) leaves a guy looking abnormal down there at best.
i've come to terms with my genitals, but this still remains a great source of pain for many transman. even if other men sharing the locker room have no clue he's trans, there will still be stares and maybe questions. he will never look like a normal man down below.
imagine your only surgical option being an obviously malformed vagina.
most transwomen need SRS to be whole. but transmen's genital surgery does not leave one whole.
the lack of a penis is a great source of pain and dysphoria for many transmen. how could it not be? when all of society says manhood equals a penis?
sexism cuts both ways. feminine men are demonized, imagine how a man without a dick feels.
i used to think transwomen were luckier. i thought there could be no more degrading position than to be a man born female. then i realized it was beyond arrogant of me to assume my hardships were greater than anyone else's.
a really tacky cliche, but true: the grass is always greener on the other side.
and none of this is to discount the world-wide violence against transwomen, which troubles me greatly.
Posted on: December 08, 2007, 08:14:25 PM
One more thing i'd like to point out (and this is not specifically directed at you melissa or anyone here).
Transmen are not necessarily strangers to violent crime. I may not have experienced transphobic violence, but i know what it is to rely on your wits to get out of rape and possible murder. i know what it is to targeted for robbery because of appearing to be female.
