Passing as Female and Unsure How to Handle Men

[Zoetrope]

Tell them you're a lesbian.

Do that and you will just get asked for threesomes instead ...

[pretty pauline]

When this started happening to me I was a bit nervous while at the same time flattered.   Over the past few years I have gotten used to it.  You will too.

The easiest thing to do is politely decline and say no thank you. 

If you do accept your not saying "I'd like to have sex with you".  But men will use this to open up a conversation with you.  It's your choice if you want to be approached by accepting the drink.  I have had many conversations with men at restaurant bars and have never had a problem.

Very good advice and I've had same experience, it is a bit unnerving when it happens first few times, I remember discussing it with my mother all them years ago, she was just amused by it and saying ''welcome to womanhood, you'll get use to it''  and I have, it can be flattering if the attention is not threatening, attention from older is a bit more respectful, I sometimes accompany my husband to work parties, older men will sometimes ask hubby, ''what would your lady wife like to drink'' they never ask me directly, always ask hubby which is kind of weird, sometimes men can be so condescending, calling me honey, dear and luv, but it's all harmless male attention if it's not threatening or uncomfortably, you'll get use to handling it, agggh MEN!! Welcome to womanhood.

[KarynMcD]

Tell them you're a lesbian.

You're still new at this, aren't you?

I wear an engagement ring and wedding ring, point out that I'm married and the conversation will switch from "can I see you again?" to "can I be your friend and get your number anyway?"
Guys can be very stubborn.

What I'm still not used to is guys randomly striking up a conversation. It seems to happen a lot on elevators.

[Becca Kay]

It was at a casino after attending a concert when the last drink offer occurred. I don't drink alcohol and I refuse to live my life hiding, such as in going to a lesbian bar only. This is "my world" and I intend to see it to the fullest! I don't believe in only going places especially for LGBT because if I do that I'm letting the LGBT uneducated people win, and I'm a winner not a looser.

I go to gay bars because they're fun.  Not to hide.  And there tends to be a lot fewer 'uneducated' people there than in a typical cis bar. 

[Ejo]

Becca Kay: I think you may have misunderstood the part where I said uneducated. I didn't mean that there are less educated people at gay bars, what I meant was that I won't let people that lack education about transgender people keep me from going wherever I want. Actually, I thing that transgender people are more intelligent than the average person for whatever reason, at least my friend are,  and I do go to gay bars and have lots of fun there with friends, but I won't let the haters keep me away from a straight bar or any other place I want to go to.

[sfbarbie]

I would just tell them that you're a lesbian or if you're uncomfortable with that just say you're in a relationship?

The way I handle it is by chatting with a guy flirting/whatever... if I think it could go somewhere or know we are both into it, I will usually say something like "I have to go check on my dog, but if you give me your number I promise I'll text you as soon as I get home and we can meet up or something.."

Then when I leave I text him and say hey i'm super into you, but you should know I'm trans. obviously that doesn't work for your scenarios lol, but may help someone else!

[MeTony]

I would go to gay bars if it was possible. It is more obvious that you don't want men to hit on you there. And the chanses for a gay man to hit on you is very small. But the women there know you are there for same resons.

I don't know how gay bars are in your country, but here in Sweden they are often mixed, sometimes just girls or just guys.

Do your research.

I like to go to bars too. I never drink alcohol though. But being a gay i a normal bar can trigger aggression from some people. I don't know why they feel threatened.

[Lady Lisandra]

You sound now to this. With time you'll get used to "bounce" men away. Don't worry, they'll offer you lots of practice.

Remember, don't give any kind of "hint" that you're interested, because some will consider a friendly attitude as a sign of "I want to have sex with you" and they'll get a bit annoying.

[Harley Quinn]

Thank them for the offer, and decline it politely.... they usually get the message. The ones that don't are going to persist, and at that point a simple "not my type", "not interested", or just turn your cheek and ignore them.