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Being more visible for my community (and its hazards)

Started by zukhlo, September 09, 2017, 12:29:08 AM

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zukhlo

I'm FTM, and I've been transitioning for about 4 years now. I'm finally at the point where I pass 100% of the time, and people are genuinely surprised to find out I'm trans, although I generally don't tell them until I know them very well.
While this is amazing and validating, I can't help but feel somewhat invisible as a trans person, and I feel that I should use my privilege to be more visible for my community. If more people see that I'm trans, they'll come around to the idea that trans people are just regular people and stop the nonsense.

My question is mainly for cis-passing trans people, and I want to know what you do specifically to be visible, if that's what you're doing. Is it a tattoo, a t-shirt, something else? What kind of reactions have you gotten? Any advice?

I thought about getting one of those shirts that says 'nobody knows I'm trans' or 'trans is beautiful' but I feel like I might be too scared to wear it. Maybe that's what I need to do though. A shirt with the trans flag would be safer, but people who recognize the trans flag are probably also people who are already down with trans rights. I'm pretty heteronormative in my presentation so I'm not sure what else I could do.


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Elis

I haven't been on T really that long but know in future I'd like to be more visible as a trans person. I actually just gotten my first tattoo which is an nb trans pride tattoo; but I'm scared of showing it off in case people can guess what it means :P.  But it makes me feel good just knowing its there and one day when I'm more confidant I'll gladly show it off.
Flavnt clothing has stuff which is sorta more subtle if you wanna show trans pride.

Have you thought about maybe volunteering for a trans charity? Some even have mentor/mentee programs which could be good for you.
They/them pronouns preferred.



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Kylo

Wearing a shirt in front of strangers or announcing you are trans to people who don't know you quite possibly wouldn't have the same effect - if you build up respect and rapport with someone first, it's harder for them to find reasons other than their own prejudice to dislike you. Strangers with no stake in the issue aren't going to be convinced by a flag or a shirt, I would guess, but by actual interaction with someone. But in my observation any sort of proselytizing never gets a great first reaction.

The flag would also be something you would only recognize if you knew of or were in the community.

I discuss trans issues with conservatives and religious people online quite often, and I do not need to be physically visible for that, or give up my anonymity. I wouldn't wear any sort of pro-whatever kinds of clothing in general, as I like to find out what other people around me think before I even consider disclosing anything to them. I can tailor my responses to them perfectly then, rather than have them immediately assume a bunch of things about me without ever having talked to me.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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James80

Quote from: Viktor on September 09, 2017, 04:52:58 PM
Wearing a shirt in front of strangers or announcing you are trans to people who don't know you quite possibly wouldn't have the same effect - if you build up respect and rapport with someone first, it's harder for them to find reasons other than their own prejudice to dislike you.

I agree with this. Directly confronting someone's prejudice seldom works. Moving them to confront it themselves seems likelier to have the desired outcome.

That said, I do fly the flag in my apartment window. Of course, I started transitioning here. Everyone who lives in the complex probably knows what I am.
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CursedFireDean

I'm involved in a lot of queer community things (board of officers for my college's Queers & Allies club, volunteering at the LGBT center, etc) and I'm just usually very open about "yes I'm involved in LGBT and ally spaces." As a queer person as well as trans I don't much mind what they assume about my identity but they do generally make an assumption. I also will, if I'm comfortable, mention details of my life that let you know I'm trans if you pay attention. For example that I went to an all girls school for high school. All of that is being more outwardly visible.

I also really enjoy mentoring younger queer people, in terms of helping the community from within, so I like making reviews of products and helping people navigate transition and things like that.

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zukhlo

Thanks everyone for the advice!  Viktor made a good point that it's easier to change someone's mind if you establish a rapport with them first.  It seems like a good idea to get involved with mentoring and be more active in queer spaces and activism - I think that's a good route for me to pursue.  Thanks so much!
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