Gender dysphoria.

[Serana95]

Usually mine comes and goes in waves. some days I feel fine, even ok with the idea of being male, on others I want to end it all and hope where ever I go is more kind to me biologically. It's usually triggered by the sight of a beautiful woman, like a lingerie commercial or a love interest in a tv show, and sometimes it takes weeks to get over. I was wondering if anyone had some advice for dealing with dysphoria, or just steps I could take to transition that require very little money.

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[LizK]

Usually mine comes and goes in waves. some days I feel fine, even ok with the idea of being male, on others I want to end it all and hope where ever I go is more kind to me biologically. It's usually triggered by the sight of a beautiful woman, like a lingerie commercial or a love interest in a tv show, and sometimes it takes weeks to get over. I was wondering if anyone had some advice for dealing with dysphoria, or just steps I could take to transition that require very little money.

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Hi Serana

There a quite a few things you can do without a huge amount of money, if you are just starting out you could try a few of these

Under dressing,
Perfume
some clothing,
Opportunity shop, shopping. Amazing what you can find for next to nothing
establish your daily "beauty" routine
practice your walk, movements, manner
Jewellery

Dealing with the GD can be very different for each of us. I use different techniques but my favourite when I first started was to have a little squirt of my favourite perfume in the centre of my chest so that when I tucked my nose down into the shirt I wearing a would get a waft of the smell and it was  quite often enough to settle me, until I could distract myself.

You have to find that one thing that you can do to make the "noise"(my description) in your head stop...I have used gaming and writing as two things and they worked well for me.

I hope some of those suggestions help

[Serana95]

Hi Serana

There a quite a few things you can do without a huge amount of money, if you are just starting out you could try a few of these

Under dressing,
Perfume
some clothing,
Opportunity shop, shopping. Amazing what you can find for next to nothing
establish your daily "beauty" routine
practice your walk, movements, manner
Jewellery

Dealing with the GD can be very different for each of us. I use different techniques but my favourite when I first started was to have a little squirt of my favourite perfume in the centre of my chest so that when I tucked my nose down into the shirt I wearing a would get a waft of the smell and it was  quite often enough to settle me, until I could distract myself.

You have to find that one thing that you can do to make the "noise"(my description) in your head stop...I have used gaming and writing as two things and they worked well for me.

I hope some of those suggestions help

Thanks for the reply Elizabeth! I'll have to try some of that stuff.

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[Cindy]

Hi Hon,

Liz's comments were spot on and I do so know what you are talking about. I think my 'turn around' day was when I was in a high-end store and all of the female employees were wearing just nice professional clothes and I just couldn't get other that was how I needed to be.

A few more thoughts.

Start laser on the face if your hair and skin are suitable. Many cismales get beard hair reduction as they are sensitive to shaving and you can use that as an excuse. Get rid of leg and body hair if you can. Remember there are very few entertainers or athletes who do not get rid of body hair - ever watch the wrestling, all those 7 foot muscular guys never have body hair.

Clear nail polish if you cannot do coloured polish.

And as Liz said the facial and body wash maintenance routine, maybe even start to get the eyebrows under control but that is better left to someone who knows what they are doing, as I know to my cost of over plucking mine! But if you are a hairy eyebrow person nothing wrong in getting them cleaned up as many cismales would.

[karenk1959]

Usually mine comes and goes in waves. some days I feel fine, even ok with the idea of being male, on others I want to end it all and hope where ever I go is more kind to me biologically. It's usually triggered by the sight of a beautiful woman, like a lingerie commercial or a love interest in a tv show, and sometimes it takes weeks to get over. I was wondering if anyone had some advice for dealing with dysphoria, or just steps I could take to transition that require very little money.

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I have a similar experience. Somedays I don't think about being a woman and happy about my male role. Similarly, my dysphoria can be triggered by seeing lingerie ads, walking through the women's lingerie department among other things.. Other days I feel I can never be happy without being a woman, although I know that I cannot actually be one. I will always have a penis since I am terrified of surgery and I will always look like a man dressed like a woman since I am extremely masculine in appearance. Underdressing is difficult for me because it induces so many conflicting emotions ~ excitement, satisfaction, shame, guilt, frustration, being dishonest with my wife, anxiety, depression, questioning the meaning of it all. Anyway, the fact that there are days that I am find being a man makes me think I am gender fluid. I am thankful for the days that I am fine with being a man because the dysphoria goes away. I also try to turn my thoughts to everything in my life I am thankful for ~ gives me meaning and happiness

[SarahMarie1987]

Serana,

Your dysphoria sounds similar to mine. I'll be fine, having a good day, and then out of nowhere I will feel awful and horrible about not being able to start my transition yet. Or looking (and appearing as) like the woman I know myself to be.

What works for me is writing these feelings out in my journal. Getting them down and out of my head is very helpful. Or I talk to my best friends or therapists. Their words and thoughts have always helped. If you can, try giving yourself a pedicure. Just go buy a nail polish color that speaks to you. I give myself pedicures when I feel dysphoric. The nice thing is I can keep my socks on and no one knows I have on nail polish*.

Hope these help!

* I don't know what your situation is, but by wearing socks when you do a pedi can keep people from treating you badly or thinking weird things about you. And you can know that having a color on your toes is a nice little secret just for you!