Hello, as the subject suggests I think I'm ready to step out and move forward and start find me. I've been struggling with this for a few decades now. It's been a manageable part of me until the past few months. The thinking is that I am married, to the woman I love, we've created an incredible life together. I don't ever want to be without her. It's worked up to a point... The past few months!
I reckon I've always known that I shouldn't be male at least from around 10 on. It was tough proposition being different in my family so I just learned to put the feelings away. Back to the topic though. Something changed over the past few months. ALL I can think about is how wrong I feel. I skulk around knowing what the problem is. I've never told a soul how I feel until this past Monday, I we were both apologizing to each other for a slight argument we were having the previous Friday and I think I was on the verge of just getting up and running, then it happened. I told her that I no longer could take being male. She was awesome, she just listened and gave me this hug of all hugs, I needed it and she cried a bit with me. Since then and until now I think I've only slept about 8-9 hours. That Monday I woke from a dream and it was ever fiber of my being not to wake my wife and tell her. Tell her how I feel, it's been eating me up so I've been working up the strength to try and tell her this weekend. We'll see what happens. I love my wife, I'm in love with her and don't ever want to be with out her. Here's hoping to her not being 'hopelessly hetero'! I know it's got to be the biggest ask and it feels selfish on my part as well but I've got to give it a shot!
Anyway, I really just wanted to say hello and I f eel like I am ready to actually start my life and stop trying to fight myself. :-)
Claire