I've had the night to reflect, and I've come to realize that something Tee told me may be very true. He said if Jay attempted to distance himself and others from me because of my (non)religious beliefs, he would be surprised to find himself as the one alone.
Jayne, as far as I can tell, this has very little to do with my transition. It's all about my atheism. The only connection is I mentioned being atheist when I came out to him.
He is, however, hard core old school. Though he says he supports me, he thinks trans jokes are hilarious. He was a pilot for a large airline, and he likes to tell me about another pilot who transitioned on the job (I think she might actually be Jessica Taylor), while continually misgendering her. At one point while he was talking about "him" I stopped him and asked, "Wait, this person transitioned from male to female, right?" When he said yeah, I said "OK, so it's "she" now, right?" He agreed, no embarrassment, used "she" a few times, then was right back to "he." He can't remember, but he's told me the story twice now about how she had to use her male voice to be heard above the ramp noise when talking to the ground crew. He thinks that's the most hilarious thing he's ever heard.
I did sit across from him last night at our flying club meeting and everything was friendly. He was chairman of the nominating committee for our biennial election for officers, and led the vote that kept me as president of the chapter. I had actually offered to resign because I worried that having me in the position would damage the club. We are well regarded for the great breakfast fly-ins we host a few times a year, and the last thing I want is for the club to become known as the one run by "that trans freak." I was gratified that everyone, including Jay, insisted that I remain president, and if anyone else didn't like it, they didn't have to come to our fly-ins. I ran unopposed. Of course, some of it has to do with the fact that we're all lazy pilots, and nobody else wants the job. 🤨
Anyway, here's my current dilemma, and would really appreciate everyone's feedback. Jay and his wife are hosting a huge party in December to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. My wife and I, along with all our friends, are invited. I'm trying to decide if I should go. On the one hand, I'm uncomfortable around this guy now, and feel a little hypocritical to go and eat his food. On the other hand, if I don't go, I would be fulfilling his prophecy of being isolated from my friends. I'm leaning toward giving him the mental finger and having fun with my friends. I would have to get my courage topped up, because if I go at all, it will be as Stephanie. What do you think?
Steph