Even where I am now, full time, with a new batch of documents every day with a new name on them (today it was my ham radio license, AOPA profile, and bank account) I still run into mental road blocks..
Today I started preparing the Bensinger Compound for the onslaught of visitors who are on the way for my New Life party on Sunday. As part of that, I ended up removing every stitch of boy clothes from my closet and drawers and stashing them in a different room. It was quite a powerful thing and emphasized how far I've come.
Time to rejoice, right?
The plan was to wait until Sue got off work, and get back to the courthouse (the same one where I'd had my name change hearing) to finish my passport paperwork that I'd gotten started on yesterday. But as I cleaned the house I started feeling shaky and nauseous. I don't think, as emotional as purging the clothes was, that that had much to do with it. Probably more to do with trying too hard to shed the 10 lbs. I've gained in the last 6 weeks. But the end result was I ended up back in bed at 4pm and never got to wrap up the passport. Then I woke up too late to get myself fixed up to attend this week's neighborhood potluck dinner. I've been letting misgendering get to me around here lately, and the last thing I wanted was to be seen in "boy mode," with no makeup. I can't afford to give them any male cues that would negate any little progress they've made with name and gender. So I sat home while Sue went without me. It was hard at first, but eventually I relaxed and enjoyed the quiet time, and got a little more work done.
So today was kinda meh...
Stephanie