KathyLauren had posted the following in her thread, and I replied there with more
me me me. I realized that was rude, so I moved my reply here where I can be
me me me as much as I want without annoying too many people.
QuoteSo this is my first peek at the rest of my life. Meeting friends for lunch. Going grocery shopping. Going to the theatre. Taking the car in for servicing. Getting used to myself just being me, rather than transitioning.
I'm kind of digging it!
I so look forward to that day. I had a small taste of it the last two days as I cleaned up 6 months of "active neglect" in my shop and hangar while I was overwhelmingly preoccupied with the early days of transition. I no longer have the luxury of pretending I'm retired and sitting at the computer all day doing research on transitioning, staying caught up in Susan's, texting my girlfriends, doing lunch. Getting back to work feels so familiar and so weird at the same time.
But while it seems so ordinary, there are still plenty of transition-related things to figure out. Some are prosaic, like what do I wear to work in the shop now that I've purged all my boy clothes? I used to just tie my hair back in a ponytail and always wore a baseball cap, but that's all so distasteful to me now. I'm learning how to keep my hair out of the way and have it still look feminine. What do I wear to meet the customer that shows my newfound femininity, yet still shows I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty working on planes? Will I be able to sustain my voice for the entire meeting?
One thing I'm learning the painful way is my fingernails are a lot weaker than they used to be, and despite wearing work gloves as much as possible, these two days of work have completely wrecked them.
The reason I'm back in the shop is I'm preparing for my first face-to-face customer interaction as he visits to take a look at the plane I import and sell. It's the first serious work-related thing I'm doing as my new self, and I'm surprised I'm not more nervous about it. Maybe I am starting to truly understand who I am.
So here I am, putting the final touches on the shop while listening to Free Beer at Exit 80 on the stereo, wearing my mom jeans, a short sleeve scoop-neck top (which shows off what little endowments I can display) and my hair up in a claw clip. Like you, I'm kind of digging it. As I told my therapist last week, I think this is the new normal.
Wish me luck for tomorrow! (Note that as I post this, tomorrow is today...)
Stephanie