it's been a while since I inflicted another episode of my life story on you all, so now's the time to run...
Anybody left? <crickets>
Gonna write anyway. First, an update on the Mt. Sinai adventure: In my previous post (
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,228563.msg2095363.html#msg2095363) I talked about not being able to see Dr. Ting at the same time as the rest of the people I have to meet. I emailed the person who's on the medical team to see if she had any insight into that, and also whether GCS in 2018 was even a possibility. And I waited, and waited. I finally decided to call, hoping that might break things loose. I talked to an answering service and left a message, and surprise! I got a reply to my email that afternoon. No phone call, though. She suggested that I meet with Dr. Ting along with everyone else in September, because no matter when I saw the rest of the crew, there was no way I was going to see Ting before September anyway. This after my original contact told me that if I split up the appointments, I'd be able to see Ting much earlier. Good grief. The other news was they don't expect I could get the surgery until early in 2019. I won't repeat why that has me worried.
I wrote back, asking specifically if Dr. Ting was actively performing the peritoneal method on trans women. I also told her that my schedule is very flexible, so I could be available almost any time they have an opening. And, of course, I have gotten no reply.
I decided that I needed answers as soon as possible. I can't wait until September to get my questions answered, so I stuck with the March 16th appointment. If I don't like what I hear, I won't have to go back again, and I'll look elsewhere. If I do like what I hear, I won't mind making another trip to meet with the doctor.
I've got to say, I expected a lot better than this from an institution as respected as Mount Sinai. Their communication just sucks, and I feel like a second or third class citizen. I've said it before, if Dr. Ting wasn't the only one that I know of performing the peritoneal method (if indeed he's actually doing that) I'd be going elsewhere right now. So we'll take a short vacation in NYC and hear them out.
As for NYC, thank you to all the lovely people who offered advice to a New York newbie. I got recommendations from mistyjensen, PollyQMcLovely, KarynMcD, Sydney_NYC, Kendra, and probably others who my poor memory has lost. We will be flying into LaGuardia on the 14th, and checking into the Hampton Inn Manhattan Downtown at the far south end of Manhattan. While we got recommendations for other hotels, and seriously considered AirBNB, we decided to play it safe for the first time there and go with somebody we know.
We'll do touristy stuff on the afternoon of the 14th and all day on the 15th, then go to the appointments on the morning of the 16th. Then it's off for more touristing. We'll do a little more of that on the morning of the 17th, then fly back home in the evening. Any locals who want to meet up while we're wandering around with our mouths open, let me know. I've gotten plenty of recommendations on where to go and what to do, though I can't remember even a fraction of them.
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One thing I may not have mentioned about my last visit to my primary care doctor: He's says I have to get a mammogram. So I had to call the imaging place and set up an appointment. No misgendering on the phone, though I wasn't happy with my voice, but I guess the assumption that anybody calling for a mammogram must be female got me through. She did ask whether it had been more than a year since my last one. Uhh, yeah. I'm debating whether it's even necessary to tell them that I'm trans, though I probably will just in case there's some reason they need to know. I'll wait 'til I get there and decide then.
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Passports. Ugh. I'm starting to get paranoid about the way our government is treating LGBT folks. When I went to the local courthouse to get the process started, the lady was nice but inexperienced with dealing with name and gender changes. She said it would be perfectly OK to send in a copy of the doctor's letter for the gender change, though I had my doubts. And sure enough, I got a letter from the state department saying they needed an original signed letter. Not thinking too much about it, I had my only copy on its way to them via standard mail the very same day. And... two weeks later, I got another identical letter from them asking for a signed copy. I called the Passport Information Center, and after getting bumped up to a supervisor, they decided that they knew nothing about how it worked, and sent a message to the big boys in the State Department's New Orleans Passport Center. Apparently the Passport Information Center is a contractor that can't answer anything beyond, "Dude, where's my passport?" I was told that I would be called within two weeks. Thursday will be two weeks, and I've heard nothing. I will call again on Thursday and start making some noise, and I'll try to get another signed copy of my letter from the clinic tomorrow. If I have to send it, it'll be overnight, insured, registered, and signature required.
What has me wondering is in the letter they sent, they provide a link:
travel.state.gov/LGBT. It's dead. 404. I did a text search on their entire site, and LGBT turned up in only one place, about visiting some other small country. It feels like we've been purged from the government. This is the first time I've ever felt discriminated against during my transition, and it's by my own government. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but the current administration seems to be not only apathetic toward LGBT, but actively hostile. I'm trying not to let it add to the burden that's getting me down right now (see below), but... but... I don't know what. I'm speechless.
Update: I did some more snooping around, and found this page:
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/international-travel/before-you-go/travelers-with-special-considerations/lgbti.html. So maybe things aren't quite as bad as it seems. Still haven't gotten a call, though.
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The last thing I wanted to mention is I'm prepping for my first electrocution (ok, you purists,
electrolysis) session tomorrow, or as Cassie calls it, HNT (Hot Needle Torture). I haven't shaved since Saturday morning, and I'm having a very hard time with it. Even in my previous life I hated not being clean-shaven, and now it's dredged up some terrible dysphoria. I don't know how you all deal with it, but I'm not sure I can handle it every single week for years. Yesterday I was on the edge of tears all day, though the dam never actually broke, thanks to some mutual therapy via many many text messages with Cassie. Misery loves company I guess, and we were both having a hard time. Remember my theory about my monthly period? Well, if that had anything to do with it, it was a little early, but it also seems like Cassie and I have gotten in sync. That's not good. One of us is supposed to be up when the other is down. And the theory still isn't proven beyond doubt. It could just be this damned beard. I feel like I could join ZZ Top. It's interesting that the pictures I used for the glasses website were taken today, and nobody noticed. I did get my act together enough this afternoon to take Maggie for a walk, and ended up talking to one of my supportive neighbors about glasses choices, and when I mentioned the facial growth she told me that she hadn't even noticed. So a lot of the fuzziness might be in my head, instead of on it. But there's nothing new about that...
Anyway, I've got to get some sleep before I drive 1:15 to get to HNT tomorrow. Thanks for letting me unload on... oh, where is everybody?
G'Night.
Stephanie
