Trying Something New: EpilogueTonight was the first of what I hope to be many Ladies' Nights Out.
I had a dress and necklace laid out, but as I got out of the shower I started to panic, thinking I might be overdressing for the occasion. So I did what any woman would do. I texted my neighbor with "Hi girlfriend. I'm freaking out here a little. What do you plan to wear?" After some back and forth I picked out this outfit:
I got my hair done and my face on, and it was time to go. I picked up one of the ladies in the RocketSkate, two others carpooled, and Sue met us there, since she was working in the area.
I didn't know what to expect. Would there be awkwardness? Would the conversation exclude me? Would there be some kind of special recognition?
And the event was extraordinary - because it was ordinary! We were just a bunch of friends out to dinner together. I don't remember all the details of the conversation, but there was little special about it in terms of the topics discussed. The conversation strayed onto a few subjects that guys wouldn't talk about - family weddings, kids and grandkids, etc., but what was special was I was completely included as a member of the group. The waitress never once misgendered me, and she came to check on "you ladies" often.
The sources of anxiety for me were my voice, and the three days of facial growth for tomorrow's HNT session. But nobody commented on, or apparently even noticed, either one.
Only two things referred to my situation all evening. The first was at the beginning, when we all clinked glasses as one of the ladies toasted "The First Stephanie's Ladies' Night Out." Then at the end, after I got back from the ladies room, I thanked them all sincerely, letting them know that I couldn't express how much that night meant to me.
As we broke up I didn't want the magic to end, so as everyone else drove home I walked to the square where there was a band playing. It was very hot, but the band was good, and I was enjoying just absorbing the moment as me.
I was starting to obsess about my wrinkles and my hairline, but as I walked around I noticed my reflection in the shop windows and thought, hey, I'm looking pretty good.
I finally headed home, but stopped for fuel on the way. The station was unusually quiet. I was the only one getting gas at the moment. And something unusual and affirming happened. I was leaning back on the RocketSkate, typing data into the mileage tracker in my phone when some young men drove by on the way out of the parking lot. And somebody yelled, "Beautiful!" out their window. No, couldn't be me, right? I looked all around but I could see nobody else. Mistaken or not, I choose to believe he was yelling at me.
I got home and the first thing I did was perform what Cassie and I have deemed to be a rite of passage: I took off my bra with a sigh of relief and slung it onto the back of the couch. I put on my comfy clothes and made popcorn while Cassie and I had a video chat, sharing the good and bad things that happened today.
Later I put my hair up in a clip and removed my makeup, brushed my teeth, washed my face, applied various face creams, and went to bed, where I typed this up.
Here's the outstanding, memorable thing for me: it was an utterly ordinary evening...
for a woman.There's not much else that needs saying.
Stephanie
