When did surgery start feeling 'real'?

[Elis]

I think I've answered this question before but I'm having trouble finding it.

So I've had top surgery today ( ) and so far it doesn't feel like it's actually happened yet. I'm assuming the reality will hit once the bandages come off. But does this sound odd or unusual?

Thanks for any advice you can give.

[Anne Blake]

Different surgery, GCS for me one week agi, and real hit in three different stages. All of the waiting and travel didn't do anything. Having them put the IV in my arm and wheel me into the OR began to feel real, waking up and feeling what seemed to be a painful football between my legs was more real, but standing in front of the mirror when the bandages came off proved the point. Adding a forth stage, waking up this morning without a bucket load of pain made me believe a major step has been taken.

[emptyspiral]

Top surgery didn't feel real for me even as I was walking into theatre. Once I had woken up and was back in my hospital room, it started to feel real but I still couldn't believe it had actually happened. The next day I was discharged, and it slowly started feeling more real. once the bandages come off and you get your drains out and dressings changed, it'll definitely hit you. Congrats on your surgery!

[Elis]

Thanks everyone . It's starting to feel more 'realish' now I've been discharged. And I'm looking forward to my post op appointment which is only 4 days away .

I think maybe one of the reasons it doesn't feel like it has really happened bcos there was nothing to mark the occasion. Much like my last bday.  I had two friends msg me afterwards to see how I was; one msged me before the op as well. But there were was nobody in the hospital room with me and no get well cards.

The occasion just sorta feels empty and meaningless.

On the other hand it just feels like the next natural step for me to comfortable in my body. Starting T didn't feel like much of a big deal either even though it was life changing for numerous reasons. It just felt natural and normal if that makes sense

[emptyspiral]

I understand what you're feeling, I'm three weeks post op now and the "novelty" has worn off and most of the time I forget I've had surgery. Then I take my shirt off to change or shower and I see the dressings/tape and I'm like "oh yeah". I was super excited about it for like a week and then after that I just forgot because it feels so natural. It's a weird feeling but it's better that way in my opinion. I don't like making a huge deal out of my transition, It's the same with HRT, I've been on T for almost three years so that "novelty" wore off years ago as well. It's great that it feels so natural, even more assuring that you've made the right decision or whatever.

[Anne Blake]

Hi Elis, I think that I can relate to your experience a bit, but from the other direction. I have found a need to integrate my new self into life and "get on with living". This sort of lines up "natural and normal" that you spoke of. I buy into this fully and completely. The second part is that you seem to be missing the relationship or connections with others aspect of life. This is new to me and has become a major precious part of the new me. It was not there in the old loner person that I was. The old man life I had lived for oh so many years somewhat testifies to that being an inherent part of male life and I never new what I had missed until I was introduced into the sorority of sisters (but older and hopefully more mature than the collegiate set). This is not to say that men can not find the family connection but I expect you may need to work much harder at it and push for what you want/need. The men that I knew simply did not know what women know about relationship nor do they value it. I suggest that it is very worth working for but in over sixty years, I could not find that band of brothers that could even come close to what my sisters are freely expressing. Good luck with this and I hope that you are able to create the world that you need.

[November Fox]

Can´t help you, but just wanted to say congrats dude, awesome. 

[Elis]

I understand what you're feeling, I'm three weeks post op now and the "novelty" has worn off and most of the time I forget I've had surgery. Then I take my shirt off to change or shower and I see the dressings/tape and I'm like "oh yeah". I was super excited about it for like a week and then after that I just forgot because it feels so natural. It's a weird feeling but it's better that way in my opinion. I don't like making a huge deal out of my transition, It's the same with HRT, I've been on T for almost three years so that "novelty" wore off years ago as well. It's great that it feels so natural, even more assuring that you've made the right decision or whatever.

Thanks.  I guess I should be glad that so far it just feels natural and right after surgery rather than it feeling like a big thing that's happened to disrupt my life.

[Elis]

Hi Elis, I think that I can relate to your experience a bit, but from the other direction. I have found a need to integrate my new self into life and "get on with living". This sort of lines up "natural and normal" that you spoke of. I buy into this fully and completely. The second part is that you seem to be missing the relationship or connections with others aspect of life. This is new to me and has become a major precious part of the new me. It was not there in the old loner person that I was. The old man life I had lived for oh so many years somewhat testifies to that being an inherent part of male life and I never new what I had missed until I was introduced into the sorority of sisters (but older and hopefully more mature than the collegiate set). This is not to say that men can not find the family connection but I expect you may need to work much harder at it and push for what you want/need. The men that I knew simply did not know what women know about relationship nor do they value it. I suggest that it is very worth working for but in over sixty years, I could not find that band of brothers that could even come close to what my sisters are freely expressing. Good luck with this and I hope that you are able to create the world that you need.

Thanks very much for the kind words . I'm still learning how to integrate into society now I'm seen as male; but it's become easier.  I'm sure it'll become easier still now I've had the surgery and can feel more comfortable with my body. I no longer have a deformity I have to hide. So should make it easier to get out and socialise more.

[Elis]

Can´t help you, but just wanted to say congrats dude, awesome. 

Thank you