Okay so I'm a bit late (I got busy last night), but here's the long awaited update.
There hasn't been a while lot of excitement in my life this last week or so. Mostly just lots of time to myself and introspection. Everyone had either been to busy, or just bad timing, or not in the mood to hang out or talk with me much. I've discovered that now days I don't care for being by myself for long stretches. I used to just isolate myself and spend lots of time doing my own thing. Now I find that if I am left alone with no projects or other distractions that my brain seems to want to focus on all the perceived negatives and bring me down. That is why I said I've been feeling isolated and lonely.
There are no real updates on the other Amber front. She got into a very antisocial mood and basically just avoided everyone for a few days. She said this is pretty normal for her. Despite knowing it's normal for her it's still very hard not to overthink it and wonder if I said or did something to upset her. I have a habit of being clingy and it tends to push people away so I struggled with that. That being said, we hung out yesterday and everything is back to normal and she is out of her funk.
During my time to myself I confronted a few thoughts I had been avoiding for quite some time. Basically there are some underlying problems in my marriage. They have nothing to do with my transition. Basically, over the past few years the spark between us died out. We are best friends, rather than partners. It's nothing either of us have actively done. Just a fading of the intimacy. I've spoken with her about it and we are working to fix things.
Money remains a problem. I've been investigating solutions. I've cool me up with a few ideas, but we will find out if anything pans out. I haven't really been keeping up with Susan's lately. To much on my mind I suppose. I will have to catch up with how all of you fine ladies are doing.
For now I will leave you with a swimsuit selfie
