I got outed by a child.

[Dena]

One I remember from another thread.
Question: Are you a boy or a girl?
Answer: Yes

[Colleen_definitely]

Kids are weird sometimes, and sometimes it works in your favor.

The other week I was out in the tattered remains of boy mode and a kid looked up at me, turned to his mom and asked "mommy is that a girl?"  his mom quickly apologized and I said "no, believe me it's OK."

That's the closest I've gotten to crying in public so far.

[Bari Jo]

That's the closest I've gotten to crying in public so far.

At the electroligist I needed to use the bathroom due to all the water I drink basically did the electrolysis.  There was a new girl working the desk, and she was giving me the men's room key.  I'm not presenting so it wasn't a big deal for me.   Immediately the person training her took the key back and said, pay attention she gets the ladies room key, don't you honey.  I got blubbery immediately.  It doesn't take much for the water works from me.

[Jessica Lynne]

One I remember from another thread.
Question: Are you a boy or a girl?
Answer: Yes

    really though, nobody will clock us faster than kids. And they usually reserve it for when you think you're really rockin' it!  Little darlings!! 

[RavenMoon]

Kids are weird sometimes, and sometimes it works in your favor.

The other week I was out in the tattered remains of boy mode and a kid looked up at me, turned to his mom and asked "mommy is that a girl?"  his mom quickly apologized and I said "no, believe me it's OK."

That's the closest I've gotten to crying in public so far.

I was in a supermarket express line once, and in my regular androgynous mode, and a guy said "excuse me miss..."

For what ever reason I look him in the eye and said: "do I look like a miss?" Lol

He was embarrassed. I don't know why I did that. But I enjoyed being mistaken for a lady. [emoji4]


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[Jessica Lynne]

I was in a supermarket express line once, and in my regular androgynous mode, and a guy said "excuse me miss..."

For what ever reason I look him in the eye and said: "do I look like a miss?" Lol

He was embarrassed. I don't know why I did that. But I enjoyed being mistaken for a lady. [emoji4]


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L.O.L. ....You're a sadist, Raven!

[PurpleWolf]

An old thread, I know...

I just wanted to say this: First, Julia you look completely cis & beautiful & I'm sure you pass 100% so I can't imagine anyone thinking you were a boy either.

Second: I've been "recognized" by kids as cartoon characters (!!!) on more than one occasion so... just saying he was probably just staring at your eyes/hair maybe... And maybe he knew some cartoon character who had white hair and... Could be, really! I just can't imagine him thinking you were a boy. Kids make weird assumptions, you see... You might have made him think some anime character who was a boy or...? Honestly!

I'm sure you felt awful at that moment! But there are other explanations to why he might have thought you were a boy than just "outing" you as trans,  !

At least you didn't suffer the fate of the dear lady in my post office.

My close friend went with her 5 year old to the post office and she chirped up in front of all the customers to the woman behind the counter.
"Did you you use to be a man like Mummy's friend?"

Now that is how to ruin someones day!

(She is as far as I know a cisgender female)

Oh, man I laughed so hard out loud on this  !!! Made my day.

[DawnOday]

And they don't need money for college or rent

No. Just more expensive food than you eat. My dogs eat beef. I don't eat beef. Too expensive.

[Cenna]

I got a "mommy boys can't have long hair!" From a little girl once. Her mom replied" they can if they want to"
I just giggled - she was probably just jealous of my fishtail braid. Deal with it punk I look fabulous and your twin tails can't compete. 

[MaryT]

It is almost certain that the child did not really recognise that you were MAAB.   Your albinism would certainly have grabbed his attention more than your gender.  He was probably just trying to verbalise that you are different from anything that he had seen before, and chosen a word at random.   He may even have once heard someone saying something like "you're albino" and thought that he had heard "you're a boy". 

If he did think that you are a boy, it must have been because he had heard his parents talking about a transgender albino person.  The fact that his father corrected him doesn't necessarily prove otherwise.  Unfortunately, being both albino and transgender must have given you at least a small amount of fame in Denver.  Everyone who knew you from school probably mentioned the fact to at least one person who didn't know you.

You are a strikingly beautiful woman.  I thought the same of your old avatar, too.

You recently posted a topic about the possibility of having children.  This incident seems to have set those plans back a bit, LOL.  I agree that pets are much nicer than human children, though.

[rmaddy]

In my line of work, I've found it useful to have a kid strategy. Some of my responses:


(Early in transition) "Are you a boy or a girl?"

I'm not very good at that question. Can you help me?

(Later) "Are you a boy or a girl?"

I'm a girl. 

"Are you sure?"

Totally

(Now, sometimes, since girls ask this question 10:1 more than boys):

"You're a boy!" or "I think you're a boy!"

"Used to be, sweety.  It was no fun at all. Girls rock!"  (Fist bump)


The main thing is I don't let the parents shush their kids. I get right down on the floor with them and do my best to answer their questions.   I also don't get confrontational. Kids know boys and girls, but they don't understand that trans is a thing. I teach them that it is.

[Julia1996]

In my line of work, I've found it useful to have a kid strategy. Some of my responses:


(Early in transition) "Are you a boy or a girl?"

I'm not very good at that question. Can you help me?

(Later) "Are you a boy or a girl?"

I'm a girl. 

"Are you sure?"

Totally

(Now, sometimes, since girls ask this question 10:1 more than boys):

"You're a boy!" or "I think you're a boy!"

"Used to be, sweety.  It was no fun at all. Girls rock!"  (Fist bump)


The main thing is I don't let the parents shush their kids. I get right down on the floor with them and do my best to answer their questions.   I also don't get confrontational. Kids know boys and girls, but they don't understand that trans is a thing. I teach them that it is.

Giving them a dry cleaning bag to play with is easier.  I'm joking of course. Lol. That was the first time I have ever been in that situation.  I'm used to kids staring at me for being albino but that was the first time a child ever questioned my gender. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I will say that as far as how kids react to my albinism is sometimes better than adults. Usually kids are just curious why I look this way. But after I explain it they don't have a problem with it. There was one time I had a little girl get scared of me and start crying. I didn't have my tinted contact lenses in and I was at at the grocery store. Florescent lights reflect off my eyes especially bad and it makes My eyes really glow. That's what scared her. The mother didn't say anything she just gave me a dirty look. Once when a little boy was staring at me his mother said "stop staring. It's rude to stare at deformed people". She said it quietly but I still totally heard her. I suppose it should have hurt my feelings but I actually found it funny. Deformed. Lol.  But since I started wearing tinted contacts kids and people don't stare as much as before. My natural eye color just freaks some people out. Though my boyfriend likes it and thinks it looks cool.

Purple Wolf and MaryT,  thank you. That's very sweet.

[rmaddy]

I guess my point was that while children are confused by gender variance, they are very open to your response. Think of it as a gift.

[PurpleWolf]

Once when a little boy was staring at me his mother said "stop staring. It's rude to stare at deformed people". She said it quietly but I still totally heard her. I suppose it should have hurt my feelings but I actually found it funny. Deformed. Lol. 

OMG I laughed at that one! Deformed??? That's just so out there  !
Actually I never realized you were albino until I saw you mentioned it. I just have to say that I've always found your pic absolutely gorgeous! I think you look adorable & very beautiful in it. And I think your eyes look so FREAKIN' COOL!!! But really - I wouldn't have known you were albino if you hadn't said anything! I just always thought your eyes & hair and everything (in that pic) looks so damn cool!

So... again. I CAN'T imagine someone thinking you were AMAB... for real. I'm almost 99,99% sure that kid meant something else like I told ya.

Btw I think albinism in general is so cool! I just can't comprehend that some adults might find it weird or something bad... What's wrong with people?!

But don't you worry! That kid didn't see you as AMAB, I'm sure. And he was a young kid too... Even more reason to assume he found your hair or appearance or whatever fascinating & thought your were something out of this world, lol. Could've also been something you were wearing? In that age kids really see those cartoon characters everywhere... And witches & vampires & what else!

[Angela Drakken]

I went to the store to get dog food and there was this guy in front of me with this little brat kid in the child seat of the cart. The kid was maybe 4-5 years old. This little boy was totally staring holes through me. I smiled at him but he just kept staring. I was totally wishing the line would hurry and this little monster points right at me and busts out with " you're a boy!!!"  He said it totally loud and it like echoed all over and people of course turned and looked. His dad turned around and looked at me and told the brat no I wasn't a boy and to knock it off.  The little brat did shut up but he kept staring holes through me till his dad wheeled him out. Talk about wanting to sink through the floor! No one said anything to me or even really even looked at me but it was totally awful! I can't imagine what that stupid kid saw to make him out me. I have makeup on and everything. Oh well,I was wondering when someone I didn't know from before transition would out me. I guess today was the day. I might have figured it would be some hateful kid. ......let me show you how much fun plastic dry cleaning bags can be little buddy.

I had this happen once at a restaurant. I was with my girlfriend and this little boy in the booth across from us diagonally was standing on the cussioned seat peaking over the back of the booth staring at us.

Then I heard it;

'That boy has a ponytail..! Boys dont wear ponytails..!'

I didnt respond, I didnt turn around I just ignore. Mum just tells the kid to sit down and eat.

First and only time that happenened. My other experience was with my brothers niece. My niece introduced me to her and her only response is 'SHE IS SCARY..!' and hid from me immediately. (How I choose to dress and my piercings.) By the end of the night she was smiling and giggling and everything was good. For the most part I'm finding more and more children arent being brought up with the same rigid gender expectations I was and the generations before. They still say the damndest things though.

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[sarah1972]

I will so steal these responses... they are awesome. Especially the last one...

In my line of work, I've found it useful to have a kid strategy. Some of my responses:


(Early in transition) "Are you a boy or a girl?"

I'm not very good at that question. Can you help me?

(Later) "Are you a boy or a girl?"

I'm a girl. 

"Are you sure?"

Totally

(Now, sometimes, since girls ask this question 10:1 more than boys):

"You're a boy!" or "I think you're a boy!"

"Used to be, sweety.  It was no fun at all. Girls rock!"  (Fist bump)


The main thing is I don't let the parents shush their kids. I get right down on the floor with them and do my best to answer their questions.   I also don't get confrontational. Kids know boys and girls, but they don't understand that trans is a thing. I teach them that it is.

[FinallyMichelle]

Sitting at a coffee shop one morning having a bagel and coffee this little boy kept talking to his father and pointing at me. They were 2 tiny tables over and I couldn't hear what was being said. When he first said something and pointed the father looked up and then went right back to his paper. I was crushed, at that point I thought that I was passable and more than that I thought that I looked okay that day. Hair good, 20 minutes putting things on and taking them off until I found the perfect outfit, and this mini person just blew away my good mood with his pointing and talking. I felt like crying, completely miserable by the time they got up and left. Then the older lady that was between us leaned over so I could hear her and said, "He is right, that dragon fly is beautiful." It took me a second to realize that she was talking about a dragonfly pendant thingy that I was wearing. Four inch wing span, tiny sapphires, rubys, diamonds and emeralds in the wings and ruby eyes, it is beautiful. My boyfriend won't tell me how much it cost him but I bet it was a lot, I love it. Truthfully if all the stones were fake I would still love it. I was so upset, ready to pelt the pest with my bagel and it was nothing. I thought about it a lot after.

Even if 100% passability was possible, there is always the possibility that someone might accidentally say sir not even meaning to. I have to try not to let it devastate me no matter how much it stinks. I don't want to feel that level of hurt inside anymore.

Sorry that you had to endure that. I am sure that you are over it by now, but I really hope that you know that you have nothing to worry about. I think I remember you saying that you had considered surgery, I personally hope that you don't. You are perfect the way that you are and with everything you have already endured, you are on the other side now. Enjoy your life. 😁

[Maria77]

A few years back, a part of my cornea ruptured (accute hydrops) and I had to wear an eye patch.  Several kids thought I was a pirate!!!!

Better than " that's a man!"   

[CallMeKatie]

Haha gotta love kids and their directness.
I wouldn't read too much into it though. I've heard hundreds of little kids say all kinds of things that are wrong all he time as they are still learning.
You look female to me Julia

[Jennifer.Diamonds]

   I was walking through walmart the other day and was passing by a child, maybe 10-12 years old.. and I heard his mother ask her husband "Would you like it if I cut my hair like hers?" and motioned toward me. The boy spurted out "Mom! That's not a girl! That's a boy!"
   It happens. And I get it. Kids are going to say what they say and with the way parents are these days, their children have no tact. But geez.. I thought I had my lungs crushed for about the next 30 seconds.. I had to evade sight for a minute into an empty isle and wonder if my grand disguise of the day had failed lol!