Hi Bari Jo,
Well , you have great courage to try a DIY , I am happy for you that you found a doctor to help.
I completely understand why , in the extreme I would probably do the same.
You want and try so hard to be your true self , and if a time comes when the personal requirement becomes a priority , well , you do what is needed to be whole.
I have never felt whole , and I sought help for my depression and was lucky to find a kind therapist that did not care what I said , my T said , "you can tell me anything , my job is to support not judge" so after finding the courage , I told my T how I felt since I was about 5 , and even though I went through a failed marriage ( no kids ) , I told T even the marriage was a joke , I wanted to be my ex , not be married to her. Of course at the time I was living the lie.
Anyway , sorry for the long post , and thank you for your kindness and honesty , a true and beautiful lady.
Take care ,
Tappy