Honestly don't know what to say...

[Casualperson]

I honestly don't know what to say... I can recall memories of when i was very young acting very girlish and

feminine, fast forward 7 years or so start of middle school i'm 13 and all I can recall is that I wanted to be a girl ever so badly, I wanted to dress up, I wanted to wear makeup and dresses. Im 16 now and I think 13-16 I suppressed my feminine side, I told myself "your straight, you don' want to be a girl".

Well know i'm trying to embrace my feminine side instead of suppress it.  I wear girly clothes and makeup, in private. I have a naturally feminine body and I have been told this multiple times, but i'm honestly so confused! I wish someone could just tell me weather i'm trans or not, if it was that simple, ugh! I want to be transgender and transition but I know I would be rushing into such a big decision so fast and it would be a bad idea, and if I do come to the outcome that I am transgender I still have to come out to my parents and friends. I have a good feeling my parents would be supportive of me, but I am unbelievably scared of losing my best friend, who i've know for so long! I don't know what to do! I don't know how to go through this process and I don't want to wait till i'm 24 or so years old to start transitioning, because if I do come to the decision that I am transgender I want to be able to pass for a girl. I want to be able to develop some curves and a more feminized face. I know i'm ranting and i'm all over the place, I don't know wether i posted this in the right forum but who cares, theres much more i wanted to say but I couldn't put it into words. Just please help me, I don't know what to do!?

One more thing I was thinking that if I do come to decision that I am transgender and I begin HRT I would still wear my regular boy clothes throughout out highschool because I would be really self conscious about my appearance. I know my body will become more feminized and you still be able to see that I am growing breast and etc, but it would make me feel better if I just wore clothes like that though out highschool. It wouldn't be until I am almost finished with HRT that i would begin to always wear girl clothes.

Im sorry this is just a big rant.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. You put your post in the correct location and if you hadn't I could have easily moved it where it belonged. The earlier you start seeing the doctors, easer the transition will be. In my case, I wasn't able to start hormones until I was about 26 years old so I needed a surgery to correct my voice, facial hair removal and my adams apple reduced in size. This means additional pain and expense in order to complete the transition. In you case they would most likely place you on a testosterone blocker which would prevent additional masculine development. At 18 years of age, you would have the option to start estrogen and the feminine development would start at that point.

Normally you would see a gender therapist who would help you explore your options and the therapist would approve your request for HRT. Should you need help explaining this to your parents, we have information that's useful as well as letters written by others that could be altered to fit your needs.

Feel free to ask for any help you need. I have to work but I am on the site much of the time so if you post to this tread, I will respond when I can. Others on the site may also post responses to your request so it should be long before somebody helps you.

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[Julia1996]

Hi. Welcome to the site. I'm Julia, I'm 19 and I started hrt when I was 17. You really need to talk to a gender counselor. You said your patents will probably be accepting so maybe you can tell them you need to talk to someone and ask them to get you counseling. If transition is right for you and the therapist agrees you might start hrt or you might just be given a testosterone blocker. You will need parental consent to start either. Doctors are different. The first one I saw for hrt only wanted to give me testosterone blockers and said he wouldn't prescribe estrogen until I was 18. My dad didn't see any reason for me to wait a year for estrogen so he took me to another Dr and she prescribed both blockers and estrogen.  But even if you just go on blockers that's fine. Blockers won't cause feminine changes but they block any further changes from testosterone which is what you want. The younger you are when you stop the influences of testosterone the better the results with estrogen.

I know it can be scary but talk with a therapist to get things started. If you believe your parents will be accepting then tell them you are Trans. Your parents can help a lot if they are accepting.  I wouldn't have been able to start as early as I did without my dad.

Good luck. Please keep us posted.

[elkie-t]

T-blockers is what you want asap. Once they are there - it's like you hit Pause button and gave yourself a couple of years to experiment. Gender specialist (to send you down to endocrinologist), or endocrinologist operating on 'informed consent' (to get things moving faster, but it is still a good idea to meet gender specialist to help you find answers to your questions).


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