Becca's HRT Journey

[Donna]

What an amazing difference girl.

[Northern Star Girl]

This is the only pic I can find from the past couple years. I deleted a LOT of pics of me pre HRT. It's a little blurry and dark.  This is one year ago.

@Becca Kay     In those 2 pictures, it can't be the same person!!!!   
You look great as the new you Becca Kay, and your exciting transition journey as you continue with HRT will be filled with more excitement and even more significant and welcome body changes.   
Please continue to keep us all updated.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Becca Kay]

i do not miss that beard.  it was like a mask. it was very very thick.  my male friends were always amazed how quickly I could grow a beard. laser/electrolysis has been such a gift. 

I spent this morning looking at some pics of myself from the past decade or two.  And one thing i've already forgotten is how awful my complexion was.  Oily and blotchy.  I also have seborrheic dermatitis and it was at times really bad on my face and chest.  Since HRT I'm nolonger getting breakouts on my body and my face is nearly completely clear.

 

[Becca Kay]

So I've had my new wig for a while.  I've worn it maybe 5 days since buying it.  It looked amazing when I left the salon.  Now it's a mess.  Tonight I spent two hours screwing around with it and watching Youtube videos and trying to figure out how to restyle it so I looks something like it did when I left the wig shop.  It's such a mess that now i just look like a messy hippy guy when I put it on.

This is so incredibly frustrating.  I spent the last hour crying.  I don't know what to do with it.  I can't leave my house looking like this. 

[Donna]

I'm taking mine in to a salon and they are going to try to do something with it. My wife and I have nick named it rat if that gives you any idea how bad it is and it's 2 months old.
My other two wigs are better quality and it shows in the looks. 
I'm waiting for the name of an excellent wig company out of Europe, I will pass it on when I get it.

[Dena]

A wig shop should be willing to teach you how to care for your wig. They should also have some products that will make the task easer and will help extend the life of the wig. Go back to them and ask for help.

[Donna]

Lol. I did go back and they were not helpful.  I have wig shampoo and wig conditioner and a wig rake and I pick knots out all the time. Norikon is the manufacturer out of France with the good rep for quality wigs. We talked about it at lunch and looked at some styles and then out of the blue my wife announced she had ordered it for me. Of course I have to deposit the money in her account for it but I don't mind as long as she is getting involved. She ordered me 5 tops and two pants last well and I love her fashion sense and the colors she pics. I never would pick coolers like that but damn I sure like wearing them.

[Becca Kay]

so I've just started pulling it into a side pony till i get it figured out.  I got lots of advice from my Cis-Het girl friends.  And after posting on FB that I had a break down over it my ex wife emailed me with some advice. 

the drama continues!

[Becca Kay]

this is supposed to be an HRT thread.  So here are some HRT thoughts... at least I think they are.

Over the past few weeks I've felt over and over a really intense desire to have penetrative vaginal sex.  And when I say that I mean that I want to be penetrated.  I used to fantasize about it (pre HRT) but it was usually a short thought that occurred only when I masturbated.  Now it's something i think about a lot.  I want to know what that feels like. I imagine it all the time.  But it's not like the sexual thoughts I got pre HRT, which were kind of crude and more like focusing on getting off.  It's more like a intense desire.  And when I catch myself thinking about it I usually then realize that I don't have a vagina and it just breaks my heart. 

it so weird.  I didn't think bottom surgery was that big of a deal to me.  I used to think i'd be fine with having a penis and being a girl.  I was just kind of "meh" about it.

It's kind of mind <not allowed>.   Which leads me to thinking a LOT lately about bottom surgery. 

<Moderator edit - TOS 11>

[Donna]

Becca, i wonder just how many of us do the same thing. I didnt want make up, dresses,long hair etc. Now i have it all and swore i didnt want bottom surgery. The nuts are going away this summer and that was going to be enough. Now my E has been increased and a zero depth vaginoplasty sounded right---- but?
Where to next no one knows, especially not me.

[Becca Kay]

Updates....

i am about 6 weeks away from transitioning at work, at which Point I'll be socially transitioned.  Or whatever it means when I don't dress up like a guy anymore.  My employer is being very supportive.  i'll post more about it next month when the big day comes. 

The court date for my divorce is a week away.  I'm waiting to submit my name and gender designation change right after the divorce is final. 

I'm about 3 and a half months away from FFS.  Every time I look in the mirror I want it to be the last time i see this face.  Another milestone or step or whatever that doesn't seem to get here soon enough.

At this point these impending changes in my life are like a nervous itch that I cannot scratch.  I want to get on with it.  But I'm just sitting here ticking the days away until I can move ahead. 


My last Laser session was 8 weeks ago.  It seems to have been the most effective so far.  After the shedding stopped I was amazingly free of whiskers for a month and a half.  I had no 'shaddow' at all for 5 more weeks.  It was amazing and way beyond the hair loss from my previous 4 sessions.  Since then i've had several Elecrolysis sessions to get at the blonde hair.  Typically I'd see hair regrowth about 4 weeks after each laser session.  This time i was starting to think that nearly 2 months after I may have lost MOST of my facial hair.  Then over the past 4 days my dark hair reappeared around my upper lip. 

This feels like an evil trick.  I got ready this morning to go to the salon and just cried and cried because I could see it through my make-up.  A week ago I was considering cancelling my next laser session.  Wishful thinking  



I'm not noticing anything new in terms of my HRT experience.  At least I don't think I am.  my breasts are still sore to the touch.  My bust measurement isn't any greater than it was two months ago.  But my breasts seem to have filled out quite a bit more. They're starting to look like actual breasts.  I'm very happy about them.  They're my pride and joy 

While I don't think that my body looks much different than it did 6 months ago there are subtle differences.  I've lost some mass from my upper arms and shoulders.  And I've gained a bit of mass around my upper thighs and from my hips up to just below my my waist (above my navel).  When i wear men's clothing nobody meeting me would know I've been on HRT for 9 months.  You'd have to see the before and after, and even then, with the exception of my breasts and hair reduction, I don't think there's much to notice really. 

[Donna]

Thanks for the update. Very nice but sorry to hear about the pesky hair. My wife bought me a one year unlimited laser package and I'll make my first appointment tomorrow. Great deal on group-on. This salon has the newest latest machines and an incredible rating locally. I've talked to other trans ladies going to her and they are all thrilled.
Keep on going. You will love being completely out.

[Becca Kay]

it's been a while since i posted.  more than a month. 

i've had many good things happen.  My divorce was finalized last month.  And i transitioned at work, which was much more profound than I had anticipated.

I cannot even express how different i've felt these last days now that i don't have to put on the boy uniform for work.  Everyone at work is so amazingly supportive and even protective of me. 

Also, here are some before and after pics



 

[Kendra]

Wow Becca this great!  It's awesome to hear of workplaces that are truly supportive.  And you look really happy. 

[LizK]

Becca you look fabulous!!

[Northern Star Girl]

it's been a while since i posted.  more than a month. 

i've had many good things happen.  My divorce was finalized last month.  And i transitioned at work, which was much more profound than I had anticipated.

I cannot even express how different i've felt these last days now that i don't have to put on the boy uniform for work.  Everyone at work is so amazingly supportive and even protective of me. 

Also, here are some before and after pics

 

@Becca Kay
Dear Becca Kay....
...Wow wheee....
and your before and after pics are most certainly dramatic...
You look absolutely wonderful, no wonder everyone at your work is so supportive... and even protective!!!!! 
Kudos to you for coming our at your work.

Thank you for sharing and letting your followers and readers rejoice with you in your transition journey.
Please keep your thread alive with more updates as you feel comfortable posting them....

****... but "we" don't want to wait for an entire month or more for another update from you..... please.
Hugs & Well Wishes,
Danielle

[Donna]

Well done Becca. It is such a great feeling to finally come out fully. It's great it went so well for yo at work and you look great. Very nice dress as well, you rock it girl

[Becca Kay]

Other things that have been going on with me.....

I legally changed my gender on my Drivers License and my photo now looks like me.  But my legal name change won't happen until the end of August. 

My employer let me change my name at work and my work ID has an updated pic and uses my new name. 


I got my first mani pedi today.  i've been doing my own nails for the past 9 months with mixed results.  From now on someone else is doing it for me!!

I didn't think i wanted to wear dresses.  I thought a year ago that I preferred to dress a little bit 'butch', which makes me look like a guy.  But I found this year as I starting living as myself that I'd rather wear skirts and dresses.  It's more comfortable and it also makes my gender presentation much more obvious.   

I wear a wig every day now.  I have expensive human hair wigs that when styled properly look really nice.  Many people are surprised to learn it's not my real hair.  My shoulder length wig is my go to for work and it's very comfortable too. But i"m still frustrated with styling my hair. It takes a lot of styling to keep it presentable and Summers in DC are very hot and humid and a nightmare for hair. 

despite always looking like I do in the pic above and having an androgynous voice i still get sir'd occasionally.  It's ALWAYS men who do it.    I'm never quite sure why.  Are they clocking me as trans and then siring me by mistake because it's in their head and they're screwing up?  Or are they just mean and cruel?  Yesterday while running errands I had two different men at two different stores call me sir. 

I've talked about this before ( I think) in this thread.... A huge part of what I was missing in my life before transition was actually relationships with women.  All my friends that I spend time with now are women.  Mostly cis straight women.  Women have been overwhelmingly kind to me since I started transition.  I never thought I would make new female friends who would accept me for who I am and treat me as their peer, but it's happening.  I have conversations regularly with my female friends that i NEVER before had with male friends, even men I've known my entire life.

[Donna]

With misgendering I find it's about even men and women. I will correct them gently unless some firmer action is required. Even in a dress and living fully female they just hear the voice so I will quilt trip them with my thyroid scar. Typically that all it takes but the phone is the worse.
Not racial or biased  in any way but the highest percentage of miss genders are from "new Canadians". Don't know why that is just several of the ladies I know have said and noticed the same thing.

[pamelatransuk]

I've talked about this before ( I think) in this thread.... A huge part of what I was missing in my life before transition was actually relationships with women.  All my friends that I spend time with now are women.  Mostly cis straight women.  Women have been overwhelmingly kind to me since I started transition.  I never thought I would make new female friends who would accept me for who I am and treat me as their peer, but it's happening.  I have conversations regularly with my female friends that i NEVER before had with male friends, even men I've known my entire life.

Congratulations Becca I can see you are so happy! That's what its all about. isn't it? Not only dressing female but more relevantly being perceived as female and other females wanting you in their female conversations.

Fantastic news!

Hugs

Pamela