Becca's HRT Journey

[Becca Kay]

I'm 9 weeks away from FFS.  All the arrangements are made.  flights booked.  hotel booked.  have an in person meeting with Dr Z next week. 

I thought I would be nervous about this.  that as the date got closer I would feel anxiety.  I keep waiting for the anxiety and second thoughts to kick in but it doesn't happen.  I'm having a very aggressive surgery and I ought to feel a little bit anxious about it but I seem to get happier about it the loser I get to the surgery date.

[Donna]

Good luck sweetie. That has to be so amazing being so close. Have a safe trip and a wonderful experiance and keep us informed. Love you girl and be safe

[Becca Kay]

I met with Dr Z on Friday to discuss my surgery.  We decided against cheek implants.  But everything else is still on the plan:

Scalp advancement
Brow Lift
Brow, Forehead, Orbital rim contouring
rhinoplasty/septoplasty
upper lip reduction
chin contouring, bone and soft tissue
jaw reduction, masseter muscle reduction
tracheal shave
neck lift
fat grafting (lips, cheeks, temples, etc)

my only worries about the surgery itself is pain management afterwards.  And also possible nerve damage/numbness
.


I've spoken to half a dozen of Dr Z's past clients before making my final decision.  And i was impressed that everyone was satisfied with his work.  He also has a record of doing revisions without charge. 

My surgery date is Sept 20.  I'll be in Chicago for 8 days.  I'll be off work for a about a month. 

[LizK]

Hi @Becca Kay

Wow you won't know yourself after all that. Good luck with the surgery in September, I am sure you will get great results.


I have had many facial surgeries along with a fair bit of pain management experience and more recently hair implants and rhinoplasty. I found with the rhinoplasty that it was about 2 months before I had total sensation and about 12 for my scalp. I am not sure how that relates to what you are having done.

I found that with pain management the key was to keep on top of the pain and by that I mean, by the time you are saying "whoa I am so sore I really need to some meds" its too late you are now "chasing" the pain which is far more difficult to get relief from. You are better off taking your meds at regular intervals before the pain gets bad. The body is far better at helping to prevent pain than it is stopping it once it has already taken a hold.....take meds as prescribed and don't be afraid to ask for more if you are not comfortable. There is no reason you should be in prolonged pain.


Take care

Liz 

[Becca Kay]

Hi @Becca Kay

Wow you won't know yourself after all that. Good luck with the surgery in September, I am sure you will get great results.


I have had many facial surgeries along with a fair bit of pain management experience and more recently hair implants and rhinoplasty. I found with the rhinoplasty that it was about 2 months before I had total sensation and about 12 for my scalp. I am not sure how that relates to what you are having done.

I found that with pain management the key was to keep on top of the pain and by that I mean, by the time you are saying "whoa I am so sore I really need to some meds" its too late you are now "chasing" the pain which is far more difficult to get relief from. You are better off taking your meds at regular intervals before the pain gets bad. The body is far better at helping to prevent pain than it is stopping it once it has already taken a hold.....take meds as prescribed and don't be afraid to ask for more if you are not comfortable. There is no reason you should be in prolonged pain.


Take care

Liz

thanks, Liz. 

Dr Z said he typically prescribes Tramadol for pain management immediately following surgery.  I have a lot of experience with Tramadol and I don't think it is strong enough for me.  I will have to insist on something stronger. 

[LizK]

One of the things my pain management clinic is insistent upon is Panadol with narcotics to help boost effectiveness...up to 40%. I always combine when taking breakthrough meds. Most Drs seem to be open to requests for better pain management, if you explain your experience of Tramadol to him maybe he will be open to using something more effective.

Take care

Liz

[Becca Kay]

Since starting HRT i've had a very low sex drive.  For the first six months i would describe it as non existent.  Over the last 4 months or so a bit of my sex drive has come back.  It's quite a bit different.  It feels different physically and mentally.  And I like it.

What I don't like is painful erections.  I only get real erections now when I decide to have one.  Which isn't all that often, but when I do its really painful. 

I've poked around on the forums and online and read that this is probably caused by atrophy from lack of use.  And I can't believe this is something that happens.  It makes me angry.  I don't want to live the rest of my life with this thing, but I do want to use it occasionally and being in pain kind of makes sex not fun.

[Becca Kay]

One of the things my pain management clinic is insistent upon is Panadol with narcotics to help boost effectiveness...up to 40%. I always combine when taking breakthrough meds. Most Drs seem to be open to requests for better pain management, if you explain your experience of Tramadol to him maybe he will be open to using something more effective.

Take care

Liz

Thanks, i've discussed this Dr Z and we're going to plan for a different course of meds for post op pai management.  I'm actualiy shocked that tramadol is his standard drug for pain management after and 8 hour very aggressive surgery.  In contrast I have a friend who had to have some reconstructive surgery on his jaw.  It was far less than what I am getting done.  He had pain meds administered via IV for the first 24 hrs. 

[Northern Star Girl]

Since starting HRT i've had a very low sex drive.  For the first six months i would describe it as non existent.  Over the last 4 months or so a bit of my sex drive has come back.  It's quite a bit different.  It feels different physically and mentally.  And I like it.

What I don't like is painful erections.  I only get real erections now when I decide to have one.  Which isn't all that often, but when I do its really painful. 

I've poked around on the forums and online and read that this is probably caused by atrophy from lack of use.  And I can't believe this is something that happens.  It makes me angry.  I don't want to live the rest of my life with this thing, but I do want to use it occasionally and being in pain kind of makes sex not fun.

@Becca Kay
Dear Becca Kay
Hmm, I find what you stated about painful erections interesting. 

In my own personal experience I found it just about impossible to have an erection after just 5 or 6 months of HRT... and if I did get an erection is was a "soft" erection, NOT PAINFUL, very little climax and ejaculation... just a dab of clear fluid. As I approached the 1 year mark of HRT, no erections whatsoever, erections were nothing but a distant memory, which was just fine with me, I did not desire to initiate sex as a male once I started to transition. 

I would strongly suggest to you that you discuss this all with your doctor, I can't imagine why your erections would be painful... and in my case, I never did have any erections after ONE YEAR of HRT.   Obviously there was no pain because there was nothing happening down there.

Sorry you are having this problem.
Again, I think that you should talk to your doctor.

Thanks for your update on your HRT thread.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Becca Kay]

I'm 2 weeks from FFS!  I have to stop HRT this week.  Its really freaking me out.  In the mean time my life is kind of good right now.  I took some pics this week.

While i like how I look in my wigs I really don't like wearing them.  both of them don't fit me the way they would someone who doesn't have a big man head.  They don't quite cover my hairline, so I have to be very specific in how I style them.  It's frustrating.  They were really expensive.  If i want one that fits perfectly I'll have to have one custom made. 

 

[Northern Star Girl]

@Becca Kay
Dear Becca:
This is very exciting news regarding your upcoming FFS in just 2 weeks... I am very happy for you.

I have to tell you, your posted pictures look very, very nice....
... it will definitely be exciting to see the results of your FFS after taking the necessary time to get healed up.... 
In the mean time, please continue to keep your thread updated so all of your followers will know how your life is going before and after your surgery.

Wishing you well as always,
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

[Becca Kay]

sorry for all the selfies but I'm super happy! And I've been taking a bunch to remember this face before it's gone! LOL 

13 days till FFS. 

I will have FFS on the Sept 20.  My name change becomes official Oct 5.  I'll Celebrate 1 yr on HRT Oct 18.  I actually had to go back to the beginning of this thread to check my HRT date. 

It's crazy how scared and hesitant I was a year ago.  It felt like my life was falling apart but it was really just starting.

I'm dating again.  I am openly queer and pansexual and poly and everything about that simply feels real and natural in a way that I've never felt before.  Dating as openly trans is kind of a cluster on dating apps.  But I'm slowly meeting really cool people and having fun.

[Northern Star Girl]

Dear Becca:
Nothing to be sorry for...your selfies are wonderful and you have every right to be very excited

Your. FFS, official name change and your ONE YEAR HRT anniversary and more!!!!  Very exciting times ahead for you and all of your followers will be following your life events with great interest.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Becca Kay]

4 days till FFS.  I've been off HRT for 10 days.  It has not been fun.  I'm waking up with erections.  Getting mild erections during the day.  I can't wear some of my clothing, like my skinny jeans, because of this.  In fact, my penis, which had become quite small, seems to be back to it's old Pre HRT "resting" size.  I almost always tuck.  And for the last few days I haven't been able to because of it's boyish behavior.  I am not huge down there, but it's well above average and I'd forgotten what a frustrating appendage it is

I'm kind of surprised how quickly this occurred.  Last month my E levels were less than 3.  Barely measurable.  Too low.  I was told it would take weeks for it to rebound if I went off HRT. 

Prior to HRT I had a lot of OCD and Attention deficit issues.  Over the past few days I'm noticing some of that return.  I'm having difficulty concentrating. 

In 8 more days I go back on HRT!! 

I think I'm going to start an FFS thread to document the next few months.  I'll probably cross post a bit between that and this thread.

Here's one last pre FFS pic from my work commute on Friday

[LizK]

OH wow almost there

I have been reading along with your posts,  lurking, as you have ben counting down, I hope the surgery goes with out a hitch and is everything you wanted and more.

Hope your recovery is without issue nor complication.

Take care

Liz

[Northern Star Girl]

@Becca Kay
Dear Becca:
Your special day is just around the corner... this is all very exciting for your followers to have a front row seat and hearing about your experiences ....  we are all eager to follow your right into the operating room and then your recovery..... as long as you feel comfortable posting.

Thank you for keeping us all updated.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Becca Kay]

I may post a quick update tomorrow night after my pre op meeitng with Dr Z.  I won't be out of recovery on Thursday until 9pm.  I don't expect to be using my laptop again for several days.  I've asked my sister to take pics, however unflatering they may be, during the 72 hours post op.  By next week I ought to be able to post updates.

However, I'll probably put them in my FFS Thread in the FFS Forum.

[Becca Kay]

having been off HRT for almost two weeks I can say there's a very noticeable difference in the number of trips to the bathroom. 

Once my face is done the next step is to get off Spiro for good....

[Northern Star Girl]

I may post a quick update tomorrow night after my pre op meeitng with Dr Z.  I won't be out of recovery on Thursday until 9pm.  I don't expect to be using my laptop again for several days.  I've asked my sister to take pics, however unflatering they may be, during the 72 hours post op.  By next week I ought to be able to post updates.

However, I'll probably put them in my FFS Thread in the FFS Forum.

@Becca
Dear Becca:
Great, I will be eagerly looking for your updates on your threads or wherever you care to post them on the various threads throughout the forums.
However, PLEASE, only post updates and photos if and when you feel comfortable doing so.

Thanks for posting and replying.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Becca Kay]

i've posted updates in my FFS thread.  The last week has been really difficult.  But i'm healing and I fly home tomorrow.

I am back on HRT!  Started 4 days after surgery.