Quick update...
My FFS Recovery is going much better now as I'm in the 4th week of post op recuperation. My energy level is getting closer to normal.
I have GCS consults officially scheduled now with McGinn in May and Bluebond-Langner in July. I met last week with my therapist and she is preparing letters for me. I want GCS so bad and knowing that it's maybe a year away makes me incredibly anxious. I feel like I can't quite live my life until it's done.
The results of FFS have drastically lessened my Dysphoria. I knew before that I was being clocked by most people in public. But I don't worry about that anymore. Even without make up. But the biggest benefit is that I like looking at myself in the mirror now. It's a feeling I've never known. It's wonderful.
Prior to my surgery I was still able to get a mild erection if I tried. Just enough to have an orgasm. But my erections were getting painful. Being off HRT for two weeks before my surgery I started having regular erections and they stopped hurting. For the past two weeks I occasionally tried but couldn't get an erection. I was starting to think that maybe the combination of going back on HRT and having such a major surgery might mean I was done with erections altogether. But in the past couple of days i've found that the old thing is working again (barely)
But the "quality" of the erection is much less than what it was prior to my FFS a month ago.
I don't like my genitalia but I like sex. If I graphed it's functionality over time and at the rate it's going I think at a point in the near future I don't get erections at all. I worry I won't be able to orgasm.
It's kind of a confusing thought. Because I know it's possible to continue to orgasm after GCS. But the way i'm "configured" right now I can't without an erection.
Does this sound weird?
I would still have GCS if I knew i couldn't orgasm again.
