Becca's HRT Journey

[Becca Kay]

I got a phone call today from my old employer regarding a lawsuit I am named in.  I left them last year, after I'd started HRT, but before I went full time.  The woman who called me knew me for years in my old job. She knew my old voice.  She did not believe it was me on the phone.  She kept insisting that she wanted to speak with "deadname" and I kept saying, "It's me!"

I think i really freaked her out.  LOL   

It really makes me happy when I know my voice training is paying off. 

[Becca Kay]

I've been thinking about no longer posting in this thread.  Originally it was kind of cathartic.  Early on every day was a challenge or a little victory and I needed to get that out.  But more and more I feel like I'm so far away from that.  I don't suffer from painful levels of dysphoria.  I LIKE MY LIFE.  I like being a queer woman.  After FFS I like how my face looks. 

I didn't think a year and a half ago that in 2018 I would find myself.  It seemed like an impossible dream.  But I feel now like I'm almost there.  If GCS is half as good for me as I hope, I will just live the rest of my life....

For now I'll make a few more comments....


I am 6 weeks post op from FFS.  Lots of healing yet to happen. But I feel like I am finally seeing myself in the mirror.  Like when I started HRT or went full time, the amount and severity of my dysphoria has been reduced dramatically. 

I go on Friday for my regularly scheduled blood test.  I'm expecting to hear again that my E levels are stable and in the "female range" and that I probably have too little T in my system.  I've been experiencing a lot of fatigue and I think it's not just from the surgery 6 weeks ago.  For most of the last 6 months I've also had some sleeplessness, which could be a side effect of Spiro or maybe even low T levels. 

I'll post an update when I get my bloodwork back!!  Until then here is my unicorn costume...

[Donica]

Wow Sofia! You look so cute in that picture with the party ears and ribbons. Was this an office party? Your FFS was indeed successful.

I hope you start a GCS thread so we can follow the next chapter in your journey.

Hugs,
Donica.

[Becca Kay]

i don't think i will make a GCS thread.  I think this is it.  There are plenty of other GCS threads.  I have nothing to add that hasn't been said.  And I'm kind of starting to think that I want to keep the rest of my transition for myself. 

I've been very open about my transition with friends and acquaintances.  I feel like i'm helping them to learn.  But it's not like me to share intensely intimate details about myself with so may people.  It exhausts me. I'm tired of it.  I feel like I did my part and now that my face is fixed I can maybe go the rest of the way in a more private manner. 

for the short term I'll update this a bit more and post some more updates in my FFS thread over the next few months.  Lots of healing yet to happen

[Donica]

I would like to thank you so very much for sharing your HRT and FFS journey with us Sophie. Please forgive me if I keep misspelling your name. You have certainly help me to understand what to expect when my FFS date gets here. I now have the courage to move forward with this. I am sooo hoping it happens very soon.

Thank again for sharing Sophie!
Donica.

[Another Nikki]

This thread was helpful and inspirational.  Know that as you move on with the rest of journey in a more private way, and best wishes.

[Northern Star Girl]

i don't think i will make a GCS thread.  I think this is it.  There are plenty of other GCS threads.  I have nothing to add that hasn't been said.  And I'm kind of starting to think that I want to keep the rest of my transition for myself.

I've been very open about my transition with friends and acquaintances.  I feel like i'm helping them to learn.  But it's not like me to share intensely intimate details about myself with so may people. It exhausts me. I'm tired of it.  I feel like I did my part and now that my face is fixed I can maybe go the rest of the way in a more private manner.

for the short term I'll update this a bit more and post some more updates in my FFS thread over the next few months.  Lots of healing yet to happen

@Becca Kay:
Dear Becca:
I, along with many others, have found your threads and photos very inspirational, helpful and educational...   
... obviously only post things that you feel comfortable posting.  It is entirely up to you how much or how little that you want to post and share here on the Forums.   
Believe me, I certainly know from my personal experience, how exhausting and tiring it can be to intelligently share personal details about myself here, and coupled with that is my involvement on so many threads other than my own...
... there comes a time for everyone to make decisions about all of this... and if this is your time, then no one can argue with you....   but do know that your threads have been and will continue to be of interest to all of your followers of which you have many.   

Thank you for your past, present, and hopefully future sharing of your thoughts here on the Forums.
Hugs and hugs, and best wishes to you whatever you decide.
Danielle  

[Becca Kay]

had a blood test last week.

My test was 6 weeks post op.  I was off HRT for two and a half weeks in Sept for FFS.  My levels have rebounded over the past month.  T was effectively zero and and E was 143.  Kind of what I expected. 

I have a doctor appointment on monday to discuss the results.

Also, my boobs are sore.  First that I've noticed this in two months.  Also probably a result of hrt rebound after my break for FFS.  I was kind of getting used to not having sore breasts.  I'd like them to be a lot bigger, but it's annoying when they're perpetually sore

[Northern Star Girl]

had a blood test last week.

My test was 6 weeks post op.  I was off HRT for two and a half weeks in Sept for FFS.  My levels have rebounded over the past month.  T was effectively zero and and E was 143.  Kind of what I expected. 

I have a doctor appointment on monday to discuss the results.

Also, my boobs are sore.  First that I've noticed this in two months.  Also probably a result of hrt rebound after my break for FFS.  I was kind of getting used to not having sore breasts.  I'd like them to be a lot bigger, but it's annoying when they're perpetually sore

@Becca Kay
Dear Becca:
I am so sorry that you are uncomfortable....   
Sore Boobs, one of the curses of being a woman...  even cis-women have sore boobs from time to time.... 
...at least we do not have the "monthly curse" that cis-women have to deal with!!!   
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

[Jennifer M]

@Becca Kay
Dear Becca:
I am so sorry that you are uncomfortable....   
Sore Boobs, one of the curses of being a woman...  even cis-women have sore boobs from time to time.... 
...at least we do not have the "monthly curse" that cis-women have to deal with!!!   
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Honestly, I would give anything to get that monthly curse. I wanted to be a mother so badly. It's a price I'd be willing to pay.

[Becca Kay]

I have had SO MANY cis women say that to me and It really really hurts every time someone says it.

i would do anything to have a uterus.  And have periods.  And be able to have children. 

[Becca Kay]

now i'm going to cry all night

[Donica]

All is not lost ladies. As I understand it, there have been 8 trans women that have had a Uterus implant and some of them have successfully given birth via IVF and Embryo transplant. It seems difficult and getting health care insurance to cover it is many years away

[Becca Kay]

I got my GCS letter from my therapist today.  It will be sent to McGinn and Bluebond-Langer this week in preparation from my consults with both next year.

This week I have an appointment to update my passport.

I'm still healing from FFS.  It's been harder than I expected.  But I'm overall soooo happy that I got the surgery and used Dr Z.




I don't really have more to say.  I am going to end this thread here.

The last year+ of my life has been terrifying and amazing.  I thought that I would die a miserable depressed man and I was wrong.  HRT was like a magic chemical reboot of my brain and body.  Surgery will do the rest.

Medical transition isn't worth much if you don't work on your mind and personal relationships.  I haven't talked about that in this thread.  I should have.  I am a much kinder, considerate and thoughtful person than I was a year and a half ago.  HRT didn't do that.  I did that.  I made a decision to let go of the social programming and anger and sadness that I had been raised with as a boy. I've been partly successful.  People don't recognize me now.  Not only because I physically don't look the same.  But because I am a better person. 

Good luck to everyone here.  I'll be here hanging out. But my time building these threads is over. 

[Northern Star Girl]

@Becca Kay
Dear Becca:
Thanks for sharing your wonderful and inspiring report and update on your recent surgery.

I understand about you not desiring to keep building your threads but please do not be a stranger here on the forums.
There are a plethora of Topics and threads that you can get involved in from time to time, even share some more of your terrific pictures.  You can even start threads about various subjects that interest you and could be looking to share thoughts back and forth with other like-minded members.

I will be looking for your postings as you feel so led to write them.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Donica]

Enjoy your new life Becca. Congratulation on your successful FFS and your upcoming GCS.

Hugs,
Donica.

[Karen]

Becca, I have followed you closely over the last several months .  Inspired by your courage and sharing.   Your openness about your personal and emotional journey only makes what you have achieved that much more special and inspiring.

Thanks for being so open.   You are awesome.

Karen

[Becca Kay]

i will probably post a few updates in my FFS Thread over the next 2-4 months.  I am not even close to fully healed.  I have a lot of numbness, swelling, etc.  I was waiting until Dec to take a few pics, maybe without make up.

[Becca Kay]

This thread.... I can't quit you!!!

I thought I would drop in and give a quick update and post a pic. I'm 3 months post op from FFS and things are going really well in my personal life as a result of my surgery. 

My May consultation appointment for GCS with Dr McGinn has been moved up to this month.  It looks like I will have my surgery before Summer. 

[Karen]

Congrats on GCS.  Amazing. 

And you look awesome. 

So happy for you.

Karen