My face, my nose........ my nose, mostly............

[Allie24]

I made a post about my face a while ago but I still have so many nagging problems with it... I think it has more to do with insecurity than it does with passing. Like, when I compare my face to a celebrity I hate it and I think its ugly, especially my giant beak of a nose... it looks nice at some angles, but at the 45 degree it becomes enormous...

I feel all this pressure to undergo plastic surgery, but I don't want to look plastic. I think something like FFS would probably just make me look like a Barbie doll. And it looks hella painful. Every video I watch on it, coming out the patients look like they've been smacked with a sledgehammer with the bruising under the eyes and the bandages all around the face. Recovery must be hell.

A customer was flirting with me today and called me beautiful over and over... and that was without any makeup.

Is it media? It's media, isn't it?

Ugh.

https://imgur.com/rKAepRc

https://imgur.com/kpfyNvR

https://imgur.com/LJ9ecFA

[Colleen_definitely]

Allie, you have a nose that is perfectly proportioned to your face.  While being insecure is normal, you definitely need to lighten up on yourself a bit.  You seriously hit the genetic jackpot.

You want a beak?  Look at Barbara Streisand, now THAT is a schnoz.

[Roll]

Your nose is gorgeous to me! You absolutely don't need to get any work done.

Unfortunately, that is easy to say but I know all too well how hard it is to accept, and you aren't alone in these feelings. Countless women and even men, regardless of being trans or cis, feel pressure to live up to standards of beauty that are set by the media. And frankly, a lot of the times I don't even think those standards are that beautiful to begin with. Often it isn't even that the individuals in the media find that standard beautiful themselves, but rather it is all about what they can sell.

Surgeries to pass aside (which is a different issue really, at least to me), I've always believed that authenticity is infinitely more attractive. You mentioned the Barbie doll look, and that sums it up in a nutshell.

I'm also guilty of these same feelings about myself despite the view I hold towards others. I have no idea what will or will not eventually help me pass at the point I am at, but in the back of my mind I've already somewhat resigned myself to nose work. I feel it's bent and out of shape (though I do honestly believe I have a deviated septum from a childhood injury), and no matter what people tell me about it looking perfectly fine, all I can see when I look at it is that slight crook and little spur inside one nostril. Trying not to hold yourself to an unfair standard is a really hard thing to do when you spend most of your life hyper analyzing everything about yourself you don't like due to issues like being transgender. :-/

[Dena]

First you are feminine and attractive so there is no need for you to have facial surgery. Second there is something from my life for you to consider.

I worked as a computer programmer and there was another in the shop who was in charge of a product. He always wanted the software to be perfect before it was shipped. The problem with this was we couldn't ship functional units and the customer who had them were crashing several times a day. Because we could remotely upgrade the unit, my boss put his foot down and shipped code when it was better but not perfect. This made the customers happy and the product better.

I on the other hand would fix the problems I could and the ones I didn't have the information to fix, I would keep on the list for the next release when hopefully I knew enough to fix them.

If everybody tells you that you are feminine, accept their word and move on to enjoy your new life. Surgery is painful and the recovery can often take a year before everything is completely back to normal. Avoid surgery that isn't necessary and accept like a CIS woman does that you might not be perfect but you are accepted by others.

[Lady Lisandra]

Yeah, it definitely is media. As I said in another post, look at indian celebrities. A lot of them have big noses. Media is trying to sell a single beauty standart for everyone, but the thing is each person is beautiful in their own unique way.

Don't use celebrities as a guide.

[josie76]

Your face is wonderful! Your nose is just right and still has a feminine shape. You are so lucky to have avoided the changes testosterone does. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

[Julia1996]

You're very pretty. You totally don't need facial surgery.

[Toni]

Hon, you look just fine.  Consider just how lucky you are to be so lovely and accept it.  Hugs, Toni

[Allie24]

FFS just seems like such a popular procedure for trans girls my age. Maybe I'm feeling peer pressure :/

[Charlie Nicki]

Allie you really need to work on your self confidence. No surgery will give you that and that's the only real problem I see here. Your face is feminine and pretty, your nose is too. It seems like you are constantly looking for flaws to feel down about yourself, and comparing yourself to impossible standards (like celebrities) is not healthy. And, while I'm sure this is not your intention, you are starting to sound like that one skinny friend we all have who constantly complains about being obese or ugly to her other less attractive friends who might actually end up rolling their eyes all the way to their necks if this behavior is persistent.

As somebody else said, most ciswomen accept how their faces look and work with what they have, instead of getting depressed because they aren't Megan Fox.

[rmaddy]

Recovery must be hell.

No, but only in the sense that it isn't eternal.  For several days I felt as bad as I looked. 

The weirdest thing was that for a few days I couldn't recognize myself in the mirror at all.  This was a pretty disorienting feeling.  It was quite a relief to see my face re-emerge from the bruises.  Yeah, I look different, but it's definitely me.  FFS can be a really positive thing, but it can also be a rabbit hole of perfectionism in pursuit of a look that isn't really yours.

Maybe someday you'll "go there" and maybe you won't.  I agree with the others though.  You have feminine face.  There's a lot to love there right now, and you're way too critical of yourself.

[Bari Jo]

Allie you look great.  Your comment from certain angles made me chuckle.  I've got that issue only like a billion times worse than you think you have it.  Side profile on me makes me very uncomfortable.  I'm still going to see how o feel after HRT has done some of its magic.  My worst thing is brow ridge.  You've got none!  Your bone structure really is great!  Your nose also is great.  If I ever go for ffs to fix my nose I'd be showing reference of Picts like yours to be something I'd want on my face.

Bari Jo

[KathyLauren]

Lately, I have been noticing masculine-looking women a lot.  They aren't all trans women.  In fact, I'd bet good money that almost all of them are cis women.  There are just a lot of women who have unfortunate genes.

The point is, Allie, that you are a lot prettier than a lot of cis women.  It would be a shame to take a scalpel to such a lovely face.  Your nose, in particular (since you mention it), is exactly the sort of cute girly nose that many women endure plastic surgery to achieve.

[Izzy Grace]

Lately, I have been noticing masculine-looking women a lot.  They aren't all trans women.  In fact, I'd bet good money that almost all of them are cis women.  There are just a lot of women who have unfortunate genes.

The point is, Allie, that you are a lot prettier than a lot of cis women.  It would be a shame to take a scalpel to such a lovely face.  Your nose, in particular (since you mention it), is exactly the sort of cute girly nose that many women endure plastic surgery to achieve.

Honestly, every girl I look at now I look for how masculine she looks, if that isnt telegraphing where my head is.

Allie, I think we all pretty universally find you to be super passable and beautiful. I certainly wish I had your features. I also totally get that that only goes so far. You have to feel the same way or its not going to satisfy the feeling you have about it internally.

I cant really say dont get FFS, cause I want to. Frankly if I can find a way its happening. I personally would probably not get it if I had your face, and I'd say if your going to do it anyway, just be really careful because you really are where I'd like to be. I'm starting with far more masculine features though.

Yeah, I look different, but it's definitely me.  FFS can be a really positive thing, but it can also be a rabbit hole of perfectionism in pursuit of a look that isn't really yours.

Maybe someday you'll "go there" and maybe you won't.  I agree with the others though.  You have feminine face.  There's a lot to love there right now, and you're way too critical of yourself.

Yeah, this is what I know I have to worry about and I agree.

[TransAm]

Lately, I have been noticing masculine-looking women a lot.  They aren't all trans women.  In fact, I'd bet good money that almost all of them are cis women.  There are just a lot of women who have unfortunate genes.

The point is, Allie, that you are a lot prettier than a lot of cis women.  It would be a shame to take a scalpel to such a lovely face.  Your nose, in particular (since you mention it), is exactly the sort of cute girly nose that many women endure plastic surgery to achieve.

The other night my fiancée and I got invited to a Friday the 13th zombie party. We met up at our friend's new apartment and a ton of women started pouring in (a little awkward for me, but I digress). One of them sat down next to me and we chatted for a while. I was absolutely certain she was trans--predominant brow ridge, large/strong nose, large hands, fairly tall, and just generally strong features apart from a beard shadow--but didn't really think anything else of it.
She wasn't. It surprised me, but she definitely wasn't.

Your nose looks great by female standards from all angles you presented.

[Dani]

FFS just seems like such a popular procedure for trans girls my age. Maybe I'm feeling peer pressure :/

FFS is popular because many of us NEED it to even slightly pass. I am a late transitioner and I needed FFS.

You are young and very pretty. If you still feel you must have FFS, I have no idea what they would do to improve your face.

Aside from the expense, you will always have surgical scars from FFS. But most importantly, not all FFS procedures will make you look more feminine. Sometimes the surgeon makes a bad mistake.

Avoid surgery if you do not really NEED it.

[Allie24]

I understand a lot of late transitioners opt for FFS due to the effects of prolonged exposure to testosterone. But I was speaking moreso in reference to women my age (18-23) who are having it done. I though some of them looked fine, but then I saw that they often had forehead contouring done to get rid of their brow ridge. It's when I'm in profile or at certain angles that it worries me most and makes me wonder if they're right to have it done?

[Colleen_definitely]

Right or wrong, many of them get it done because it is so culturally ingrained that it almost seems like you have to in this community.  I felt like I really had to at first, and now I'm having second thoughts (and there's definitely more that could be done on me than on you)

What I'm really afraid of are scars that I'll be conscious of for the rest of my life.  Sure grinding down what little brow ridge I have and tugging my upper lip up would probably help me pass a little better, but passing isn't a problem for me at this point.  What I am afraid of is if something goes wrong.  A paralyzed eyebrow, an upper lip I'll never feel again, a nasty looking scar going along my hairline, all of these (and more) are risks anyone who gets FFS face.  Minor scarring is inevitable, but things can go really wrong on rare occasions.  (and with luck like mine...)  So I say if you can avoid it, I think you should.

Now not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to pass without FFS, and for them the reward is absolutely worth the risk.  But for you?  I wouldn't mess with a good thing.  You're very pretty and you have no features in your face to suggest being trans.

[flytrap]

Regardless of how other people see us, our insecurities are real, Allie24. Fix one and another one pops up to take its place. I am wondering if you have considered that you might be better spending your money for therapy to improve your self image?

[rmaddy]

Now not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to pass without FFS, and for them the reward is absolutely worth the risk. 

I didn't have FFS to pass.  I had it for the same reason I curl my hair, paint my nails and get dressed every morning--because I am worth adornment.  Having painful surgery to satisfy someone else's expectations makes no sense to me at all.