Parents forced me on birth control (2 months on it so far)

[PeterSteele]

So far it has been terrible. Extremely painful and heavy periods, extremely bipolar, bad gender dysphoria, 24/7 depression, not great thoughts, always the feeling of a pill on a empty stomach, and it's terrible. I hate it so much. Im on tri-lo-estarylla / tri-lo-marzia and it is making my dysphoria worse. I was put on this cause I used to hangout with guys and they thought I'd do sexual stuff with them. I have no guys as friends, because I don't want them to think im doing stuff with them. This birth control also is making me gain weight and hard to lose it. Also my hips and thighs are bigger, it's killing me. I beg my stepmom and dad that I want off of it, but they said "try it for 6 months" and tell me it's all fine to have extremely painful periods. My step mom, of course hates me and treats me terribly, so I think she's probably going to make me suffer on these.  Another thing, this birth control makes me have the worse anger issues, I break stuff, I hit myself, I hit things, and I had no anger issues before this. I wish I could live with my mom cause she accepts me and wants me off of them, but my stepmom won't let me. I'm getting so tired of this, my step mom treats me as if I'm immature and always lectures me. I'm not allowed to be sad or angry, because it means I have an attitude and I have to smile and act fine. Just last week when I was told I can't visit my mom last weekend I was upset and sad and she told me to stop acting like that and don't be like that around here. So, I get in trouble for going to my room. Then she says the only reason I want to see my mom is because I get to get my hair dyed black by her. That's a reason, but no the true reason is I miss my mom and I haven't seen her in 2 months. I'm sorry I kinda went off topic. Just needed to vent.. I have way more..
Thanks,

[Lady Lisandra]

It's okay. You can send me a pm if you need to vent more.

It sounds like the situation is not nice at your home, and your stepmother won't make transition easy for you. If I were you I'd start to think about moving out as soon as I can.

[PeterSteele]

It's okay. You can send me a pm if you need to vent more.

It sounds like the situation is not nice at your home, and your stepmother won't make transition easy for you. If I were you I'd start to think about moving out as soon as I can.

Thank you. I really want to live with my mom for the rest of my teen years so bad

[Lady Lisandra]

Is there something stopping you?

[The Flying Lemur]

God, this sounds horrible, Peter.  Mind if I ask how old you are?  Some courts listen to older teens about where they want to live.

[Lady Lisandra]

Maybe there's no need to go to court. You're a teenager, rebel against your father and stepmother! Escape from that house in the middle of the night. Sorry, I shouldn't be suggesting that...

The other option is comfronting your father. It is politically correct to tell a trans guy to man up and grow some balls? Anyway...build up courage and tell him you don't want to live with him anymore, that you are a boy, not a girl. If he still won't accept that, then you should escape home in the middle of the night start thinking about going to court.

[Contravene]

It is politically correct to tell a trans guy to man up and grow some balls?

Politically correct or not, trans man or not, telling someone in an abusive situation to just man up and grow some balls is not only insensitive, it's outright asinine.


Peter,

I wouldn't worry about your hips or gaining weight. Birth control pills cause water retention so it'll go away after you quit taking them. There shouldn't be enough estrogen in them to cause any permanent changes to your body structure like that.

I think your goal should be becoming financially independent from your parents. Once you are you'll be free to move out and make your own decisions. No one is allowed to make decisions about your health though even if you aren't financially or legally independent yet. Tell your doctor in private you don't want to take the pill or just get rid of it instead of taking it if you don't want more backlash from your stepmom.

Start building a support system of friends, other family members, people at school, anyone who will support you and help you get away from your dad and step mother when the time comes. The more people who you have on your side who know about their abusivness, the more easily you'll be able to get away from them.

[Ryuichi13]

Peter,

...I think your goal should be becoming financially independent from your parents. Once you are you'll be free to move out and make your own decisions. No one is allowed to make decisions about your health though even if you aren't financially or legally independent yet. Tell your doctor in private you don't want to take the pill or just get rid of it instead of taking it if you don't want more backlash from your stepmom.

Start building a support system of friends, other family members, people at school, anyone who will support you and help you get away from your dad and step mother when the time comes. The more people who you have on your side who know about their abusivness, the more easily you'll be able to get away from them.

I agree, but also remember, your education is also important.  It sounds like you are still a minor. 

I don't know how old you are, but the sooner you can become financially independent, the sooner you can leave that (apparently) abusive situation. 

Is it possible for your Mom to get legal custody of you?  Also, I hate to say it, but if you're in the US and your Mom has you, she can keep you.  "Posession is 9/10ths of the law," and for all intents and purposes, children are "possessions" of their parents.  I'm not a lawyer, but when I had to fight for custody, that's basically what my lawyer told me. 

If your Mom can support you financially and she is willing to take you, I'd go with her and simply never return to the abusive household.  Be sure to grab anything you feel important and toss them into a backpack you take with when you leave.  Chances are you'll never get the rest of your stuff back, if your stepmom is as mean as you say, she is, she might destroy/throw out/sell the rest of your stuff once she realizes you don't plan on returning.

Either way, good luck and be well.  We're here for you, even if only to listen to you vent.

Ryuichi


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[Oblivion]

Hey I'm so sorry that this has been forced upon you. Was shark week difficult for you before being put on the pill? Have you thought about asking to be put on a progesterone only pill (known as the mini pill), it doesn't contain any oestrogen and it can actually completely stop or at least lessen the effects of shark week. Before I was able to get on T I was on cerelle and for 6-8 months I didn't experience it and this was from experiencing them extremely heavily and painfully every 3 weeks for maybe 12 days at a time, dysphoria ate at me so having them stop before getting on T was a blessing. Maybe look it up and see if you can talk to your dad about switching pills. You have to take it every single day but to potentially have it stop altogether I think it's a small inconvenience. Also you can get a birth control shot every 3 months called depo-provera which is also progesterone.

I hope you get this sorted quickly. Parents should be trying to help make things easier, not harder.