My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)

[Charlie Nicki]

You need to talk this over with your therapist but my guess is your still feeling pain from breaking up with your ex. There is a saying that it takes as long to get over a breakup as the relationship lasted. I don't think that's true of really long relationships of over 5-10 years but it can take years to get over losing somebody close to you. I know when my roommate passed away, it took about 3 years before I was able to go days without thinking of her. Even now at 5 years, I occasionally have moments where I can still see her in my mind doing something that she would have done. It's difficult however it will get better with time and if you stay active with other things.

You're right. I keep thinking my hormones might be messing with my emotions as well, maybe I'm taking too much estrogen, I have an appointment with the endo next month and will discuss the possibility of lowering my dose. I could just lower it by myself right now but I want to avoid the temptation of doing that until I see my test results.

[Paige]

You're right. I keep thinking my hormones might be messing with my emotions as well, maybe I'm taking too much estrogen, I have an appointment with the endo next month and will discuss the possibility of lowering my dose. I could just lower it by myself right now but I want to avoid the temptation of doing that until I see my test results.

Hi Charlie Nicki,

I wonder if you could get your blood levels checked before you go to your endo.

Take care,
Paige

[Charlie Nicki]

Hi Charlie Nicki,

I wonder if you could get your blood levels checked before you go to your endo.

Take care,
Paige

Yes that's exactly what I have to do before going. My appointment is one month away, so I'll take the test one week before.

[Drexy/Drex]

Mmmm that interesting about hormones messing with the emotions.....I had a melt down today at work .....hmmmm maybe seeing an endo is worthwhile ?

[xAmyX]

I don't know about that. I significantly lowered my estrogen dosage and still feel equally emotional. Perhaps, greater than. If you're endocrinologically female, chances are you're going to get those "feels" associated with your internal and extenal stimulus at heightened proportions. Whether your blood levels are in the thousands, or even in the hundreds. The satiation will not make too much of a difference as the receptors down-regulate accordingly. It's not like you can stack effects. What's really going on is you are growing accustomed to what it feels like to have female hormones as the dominate contributors rather than testosterone calling the shots. Talk with your endocrinologist of course, and see what he/she suggests.

[xAmyX]

I'm still feeling some emotional distress with a breakup I endured around 9 months ago, but I feel significantly better about it now than I did in the beginning. "Time heals dead wounds, and the memories of people we no longer care about." By the way, I got this quote from a crazy film I liked. Don't take it too seriously. I've just been looking for places to apply it.

Hope you feel better.

[Charlie Nicki]

I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. It was awful, I cried for 4 hours straight and had to take pills to calm down and get some rest. Basically I feel lonely and sad most of the time. I just want everything to stop but I don't know what to do, it feels like I'm never getting out of this hole.

[Northern Star Girl]

I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. It was awful, I cried for 4 hours straight and had to take pills to calm down and get some rest. Basically I feel lonely and sad most of the time. I just want everything to stop but I don't know what to do, it feels like I'm never getting out of this hole.

@Charlie Nicki
I am so very sorry to hear of what you are dealing with.  It must be the time of the year, there seems to be a lot of members here that are down in the dumps, depressed, and dealing with difficult issues.  When not surrounded by supportive friends it can be a most difficult time to deal with these types of emotional distress.
 
Is there a friend or counselor that you can spend a little time with, talking, conversing, crying on their shoulder, etc??? ... or even just taking a walk with them, or having a coffee with them... or, etc, etc.
If none of that is available to you then try to get involved in something that will help to take your mind off of your problems..... writing in your journal? a hobby? walking, running jogging?  working out at the gym?  cooking? baking?  going to a hair and nail salon to get pampered always makes me forget about my problems and at the same time boosts my self-confidence when I see the results in the mirror!!!

****In conclusion, do whatever it takes to get yourself back to your happy place.  Visit many of the threads here and you will see that you are not alone with despondent feelings... there are threads here that will be an optimistic source of encouragement for you.... take some time to consider what I have said here... do some surfing of the threads here on the Forums. 
---> At the bottom of my message here are links to some of my threads which may be a source of encouragement to you.

Here on the Forums you have a lot of members that follow your thread and that care about your well-being.
Please keep us all updated.
Hugs and hugs, and more hugs,
Danielle

[Roll]

I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. It was awful, I cried for 4 hours straight and had to take pills to calm down and get some rest. Basically I feel lonely and sad most of the time. I just want everything to stop but I don't know what to do, it feels like I'm never getting out of this hole.

Oh god, sweetie, I'm so sorry you are going through that. Danielle hit the important notes, so all I can say is that despite that I know it might not mean too much, just remember you have a ton of people here who are behind you.

[Paige]

I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. It was awful, I cried for 4 hours straight and had to take pills to calm down and get some rest. Basically I feel lonely and sad most of the time. I just want everything to stop but I don't know what to do, it feels like I'm never getting out of this hole.

I wish I could give you a big hug.  All I can say is that I've been in the dumps for the last 5 years not knowing what to do.  I'm still confused about what to do about my gender dysphoria, I continue to take low dose and slowly transition, but out of the blue some things have started to turn around in my life.  In particular a job has come out of no where that could be a perfect fit for me. 

I'm almost 56, I was so hopeless, I was constantly thinking terrible thoughts.  I guess I'm telling you this because when you're down, you don't think things can get better but that's a symptom of depression.  You're a lot younger than me, you have so many opportunities ahead of you.  Don't be so sure you know how your life will continue.

Take care of yourself, things will get better,
Paige

[Chelsea]

I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. It was awful, I cried for 4 hours straight and had to take pills to calm down and get some rest. Basically I feel lonely and sad most of the time. I just want everything to stop but I don't know what to do, it feels like I'm never getting out of this hole.

Charlie Nicki honey I know how you feel. I have done that a lot lately. I have lost just about everything including my girlfriend of 10 years all in 5 months and I am very lonely also. I really don't comment on many peoples post because I simply do not know what to say and I really am not good at putting good sentences together like Danielle and Ellie and others. I do want you to know that I care just like all the others and you will get out of the hole your in just like I will.
I really think girls like us are tougher than anyone on the planet because of the amount of crap we go through.
Hang in there girl you can do this I have no doubt. Hit me up on here or FaceBook if you ever want to talk.

Big Hugz

Chelsea

[Allison S]

I guess I'm telling you this because when you're down, you don't think things can get better but that's a symptom of depression.

This helps me too. I know my transition has been a spiral downward, but somehow I feel like if I can just hold on a while longer... Who knows. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Charlie feel better, we're all here for you

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

[Charlie Nicki]

Charlie Nicki honey I know how you feel. I have done that a lot lately. I have lost just about everything including my girlfriend of 10 years all in 5 months and I am very lonely also. I really don't comment on many peoples post because I simply do not know what to say and I really am not good at putting good sentences together like Danielle and Ellie and others. I do want you to know that I care just like all the others and you will get out of the hole your in just like I will.
I really think girls like us are tougher than anyone on the planet because of the amount of crap we go through.
Hang in there girl you can do this I have no doubt. Hit me up on here or FaceBook if you ever want to talk.

Big Hugz

Chelsea

Thank you Chelsea, I just sent you a friend request and a message on Facebook.

Thank you everyone else that commented. I really appreciate your support.

[xAmyX]

Focus on self love. It helps me a lot through tough times. Look at your body and face, and place your hand across yourself and tell yourself that you are here for you. That you love you. Truly feel it in your heart. That eases the pain quite noticeably and brings some really good emotions. No matter what, you will always have you. Remember that you are a prize, and people whom do not give you the respect you deserve are not worthy of you. You deserve so much better, and will not respect those whom do not respect yourself. You are the master of your own. 💗

Be prepared to say no to those whom do not say yes.

[Charlie Nicki]

Focus on self love. It helps me a lot through tough times. Look at your body and face, and place your hand across yourself and tell yourself that you are here for you. That you love you. Truly feel it in your heart. That eases the pain quite noticeably and brings some really good emotions. No matter what, you will always have you. Remember that you are a prize, and people whom do not give you the respect you deserve are not worthy of you. You deserve so much better, and will not respect those whom do not respect yourself. You are the master of your own. [emoji175]

Be prepared to say no to those whom do not say yes.

Wow Amy this is good advice. I haven't tried it but I will. Thank you so much.

[Jessica]

Focus on self love. It helps me a lot through tough times. Look at your body and face, and place your hand across yourself and tell yourself that you are here for you. That you love you. Truly feel it in your heart. That eases the pain quite noticeably and brings some really good emotions. No matter what, you will always have you. Remember that you are a prize, and people whom do not give you the respect you deserve are not worthy of you. You deserve so much better, and will not respect those whom do not respect yourself. You are the master of your own. 💗

Be prepared to say no to those whom do not say yes.

OMG that is great advice! Wonderful!

[xAmyX]

You're welcome! Thank you as well. I'm glad I can help. (:

[pamelatransuk]

I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. It was awful, I cried for 4 hours straight and had to take pills to calm down and get some rest. Basically I feel lonely and sad most of the time. I just want everything to stop but I don't know what to do, it feels like I'm never getting out of this hole.

I am so sorry you are once again encountering problems and I promise you I do know how painful and demotivating depression is. Others have provided sound advice. All I an add is that I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Now I send you hugs and more hugs.

Pamela  xxxx

[Charlie Nicki]

I am so sorry you are once again encountering problems and I promise you I do know how painful and demotivating depression is. Others have provided sound advice. All I an add is that I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Now I send you hugs and more hugs.

Pamela  xxxx

Thank you Pamela, I really appreciate it. It's been a rough week.

[Jessica]

@Charlie Nicki

Hey girlfriend 🌸🌸🌸 It was wonderful seeing you out with your friends last night.  Human interaction is crucial for living a full life, and it can take your mind off of your problems.  You'll have visitors coming up soon, I wish I was able to be one, someday I hope to do so.

Hugs and smiles, your dear friend Jess 🤗