I have a close friend in Denmark who wants to have FFS. At some time in the next year I should have a large sum of money coming to me, and want to pay for the surgery she wants.
Initially she wants a trach shave, as she is self conscious about her voice (she didn't begin transitioning until nearly 29 yrs old). She is already on HRT and is (or is about to) start on Progesterone.
So my biggest fears (because I have only alluded that I want to do something for her) are :
1. Pressure from her friends and family, as to why I am doing it for her (because I care about her)
2. Pressure from my friends and family for the same reasons as above.
3. The surgeon botches the trach shave, and she will blame me for it.
4. She will think I have some ulterior motive for doing it for her (I don't : I care about her and want to do something for her that will make her happy).
5. It will alter our relationship as friends, and she feels she 'owes' me something for doing this for her. I hate the thought of this happening, but perhaps it will be inevitable with such a large amount of money.
So those are my worries. I also honestly don't know where to start looking for a good EU based surgeon. Are there forums where TS and TG women 'rate' surgeons, and share their success (and hopefully not horror) stories?.
Beyond the tracheal shave, she wants some FFS. We both completed a surgery survey/wishlist online so I could get some scope on what she wanted. My survey came out to around $25,000. Her survey came out to around $10,000.
But she wouldn't share her survey with me so i'm still in the dark as to what surgical procedures she wants (pretty frustrating for me : like trying to find out what birthday present someone wants, but they are never specific!).
Anyway, if anyone can help me out, and give me good advice, links to surgeons, opinions it would be hugely appreciated.
EDIT.
Thanks for the replies. Forums give me the sh*ts trying to figure out how to use, so I'm putting this as an edit.
Thinking overnight about the friends and family thing, and reached the conclusion it will eventually be between me and her. We're consenting adults, capable of making our own decisions without the [well meaning but often unwanted] input of F&F.
I'll be offering this to her to change her life some, and take her further on her journey: and its completely up to her if she accepts or declines. And ultimately i'm not going to be under the surgeons knife and lying in a bed with puffed up face, healing. My job is dead easy : all I have to do is write a cheque ;oP