I was posting in another thread recently about my descision to not pursue full-on social transition (in the immediate future). A confluence of reasons led me to the descision to honestly just stay Transgender without striving further. As background: I've been doing HRT for almost a year, am out to my SO and a few close to me, not considering GRS, passable in very dim light (like candlelight at best) and feel that the our western society is not particularly friendly toward us. All things considered though, I'm in a stable and pretty grateful place with more age behind me than in front. Why mess with it?
Anyhow, I've been delving into Buddhism for some time now but I can't claim great knowledge. Of course, it is of comfort that the Buddha had benign thoughts and no judgement toward the trans followers of his according to the recorded history.
I'm intrigued by the notion of the "middle way". The middle way in my humble and practical view comprises simply following the eight-fold path as best as I can. When I integrate my Trans-ness into that I find that another "middle way" emerges. And that is to be Transgender without the burden of increased suffering imposed on those around me as well as my self by transitioning in a society that abhors us.
While nothing about the eight fold path seems in conflict with full social transition, it's apparent that there will be an increase in suffering for myself and others. I'm thinking I've done what I can to reduce my dysphoria (suffering) and by not obsessing over transition I am trying to be mindful of my attachment to living full time societally as female. That attachment causes and can cause great suffering. Not saying that I'm presenting masculine or anything - I present now as a "soft" or feminine male - as close as I can get to being female without all of the baggage and pain of full transition.
But is the suffering greater by not transitioning fully? I feel for me right now the greatest suffering comes from holding the secret of my authentic self rather than the presentation (right speech, right intention, right action, etc.). If I let that truth be free, I'm not sure I have to follow through with actions that mostly confirm the societal expectations of binary.
Can't I just then be me authentically however that is easiest and most comfortable and with the lowest amount of attachment?
This, I feel, is a sort of a non-binary approach that is consistent with my Buddhist leanings, I guess.
Anyone else out there with thoughts or experience on this?