I've been around for a year now, which is strange given I transitioned nearly two decades ago and haven't been to the Oasis (my term for the trans community, as opposed to the cis community) for most of that intervening time. Yet things are still very much the same, even if the forum itself isn't. Most transitioners aren't thinking about where they're going, Complete. Most are looking for day-to-day things to get through the daily grind. Most don't have the resources to "grab the brass ring" of completely transsexing, even if that's what they *do* want, and so many can't even bear the thought of the sacrifices necessary to live as we do. Most can't even imagine becoming cis.
But there are a few. So that's who I write for. They show up in my PMs and let me know how much I've helped, and then they're off to actually enjoy the life they were always meant to live.
The key is not being absolutist about it. Transsexing doesn't make one "more than" (or "less than") anything -- it's not actually a matter of identity, though it's best if it's driven by identity. Rather, it's about what's materially required to never be misgendered, which is the essence of living a cis (and necessarily binary) life. Maybe someday the material requirements will be different, but in our day and age, it comes down to Embodiment and Socialization.
Embodiment might seem the more difficult to address, and indeed for some it can never be adequately addressed in full, but other than voice work (which is just as much psychological as material, if not more) it's just a matter of getting the various procedures scheduled and paid for.
It's the Socialization that gets people. It really does. Not because it takes having the Embodiment down in order to receive the initial gendering required for the appropriate social learning to take place. Rather, it's because for most of the world, the narrative is too much to overcome. Actually, the stories we tell about ourselves are a part of our socialization. Cis people don't go around telling each other they're male or female; it goes without saying. Literally.
Letting go of that story, that's not actually all that easy. Because how do we let go of something that's in our memories? And when it comes to you and me, we're in an especially ironic position, given we have to invoke the story just to participate here -- to return to the Oasis.
How strange.
