I did it. I actually did it. I came out to my father...

[Sarah_P]

As I process it more, I have this feeling that my first thought was to describe as "rightness". It's strange, because I'm not even sure I would say it is happiness or euphoria. That I can show myself to anyone and not be driven out of town with pitchforks just has me... I guess contentedness is what I'm going for here. I've been happy plenty of times in my life, but happy can be transitory. This doesn't feel transitory. I'm feeling that happiness and sadness are just shifts around that baseline contentedness versus depression, and that with this sense my peaks will be greater and my valleys will be shallower. I don't know that I've ever felt this way.

Or maybe I am just euphoric for the moment and reading too much into it, who knows!

I know exactly what you mean. After coming out to friends & family, and having nothing but positive & supportive responses, I was riding an incredible high for the next month or more. Now whenever I start feeling down, I just remember that there are people who love & care for me that I can turn to. I haven't felt this good about anything in my entire life - that after all my stumbling about I'm finally on the right path.

The transition process can be incredibly overwhelming, especially early on. There's so much to do, so much to learn. Sometimes it feels like there's a mountain pressing down on us, but each step you take lightens that load considerably, like moving another boulder aside. Just imagine that day (maybe sooner than you might think!) when you leave that mountain behind & you'll be out there living your life as your true self!

[Roll]

To everyone I didn't catch in my first thank you, I will say it again, THANK YOU!! The love and support of this community is just amazing!

I can also now say that I think this was weighing on me far more than I even realized over the past few weeks. I was finding myself running up against deadlines in school work when normally I am the person who has everything done weeks in advance (yeah, I'm that girl ), had no willpower to exercise, and wasn't even able to really get involved in any games or TV shows. Even going to see Bladerunner I felt distracted the entire time, and I typically lose myself when watching something in theaters. I just couldn't focus. Yet today I woke up, exercised, then sat down and have been tearing through assignments and am actually itching to get through it and watch a movie I've been intending to for a while. Yet aside from that immediate lead up panic, if someone had asked me if I felt bad or depressed the past two weeks or so I would have honestly said no. Practice from years of self deception at play I guess.

[elkie-t]

Start taking care of pesky facial hair - no need to wait for HRT to begin

And congratulations...

[Roll]

Start taking care of pesky facial hair - no need to wait for HRT to begin

And congratulations...

If I could I would, but I'm really trapped by lack of car and money at the moment.  I'm hoping to be mobile and solvent by Thanksgiving and then I'm planning on getting one of the groupon deals for a laser place about an hour away. Only place in the area with real laser is stupid expensive and has bad ratings (cash grab for tourists/summerers/rich residents who don't care, of which I am none ).

[JennyBear]

Ellie,

   Did you get the chance to ask him why he had never approached you? I'm curious to see if my hypothesis was correct on that one. At any rate congrats on the reveal, both for having the courage to go through with it, and the results. I wish my revealS to my own father had gone that smoothly.

HUGS!

[Roll]

Ellie,

   Did you get the chance to ask him why he had never approached you? I'm curious to see if my hypothesis was correct on that one. At any rate congrats on the reveal, both for having the courage to go through with it, and the results. I wish my revealS to my own father had gone that smoothly.

HUGS!

He said he honestly had no idea, but he does have a tendency to play a bit clueless sometimes. At this point, I'm not going to second guess anything though.

Honestly, I never really expected it to go bad per se(ie: getting kicked out of the house, disowned, etc), I just expected it to be more... I dunno, awkward for sure, maybe a bit more resistance? But of course fear for the unexpected result is always there.

[Charlie Nicki]

Congrats Roll, did you ask him if he ever picked up on anything?

[Roll]

Congrats Roll, did you ask him if he ever picked up on anything?

He said he never really gave it much thought pretty much.

[Gertrude]

Ellie,

   Did you get the chance to ask him why he had never approached you? I'm curious to see if my hypothesis was correct on that one. At any rate congrats on the reveal, both for having the courage to go through with it, and the results. I wish my revealS to my own father had gone that smoothly.

HUGS!

A shoe makers shoes.


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[JennyBear]

A shoe makers shoes.

    Um, could you explain that comment please? I don't quite get it. Unless shoemakers normally have terrible shoes?

HUGS!

[Roll]

Yeah, I didn't really understand the metaphor either to be honest.

[Paige]

Yeah, I didn't really understand the metaphor either to be honest.

Hi Roll,

I think it may have to do with the old saying "The Cobbler's children have no shoes".  In other words the child of a therapist who specializes in transgender children may overlook their own child.  I know my sister, a social worker, often lamented to me how by the time she got home, after dealing with many peoples problems all day, she was too tired to deal with her own kids issues.

Paige

[Gertrude]

    Um, could you explain that comment please? I don't quite get it. Unless shoemakers normally have terrible shoes?

HUGS!

It just means that often, people that do something for a living, don't always do it for themselves. So a shoemaker fixed shoes all day, but ignores his or her own shoes. It's understandable. Sometimes we just burnout from what we do.


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