The Roll Show! (Filmed Live in Front of a Studio Audience)

[Sarah_P]

Ellie that's awesome! Sounds like you've already got a BFF!
Having similar clothing styles shouldn't weird anyone out! Most of what I really like to wear is the same kind of clothes my girl friend at work wears. We even color-match accidentally some days. Thankfully the dresses we bought together that are exactly the same are sun dresses, and aren't going to be wearing them to work. 

[Roll]

Sort of crossed a threshold today in my relationship with my sister that is awesome! As amazing as it was before, something has clicked and we feel more comfortable talking about stuff that, while can still be awkward, we would never even consider talking about before! In particular today was the issue of breasts and sizes. It just felt like such a perfect girl conversation to me, and I think even though I still present male she is really starting to perceive me as female on some fundamental level. And we're a super repressed family who absolutely does not talk about stuff like that, so its even more amazing.

[Northern Star Girl]

Sort of crossed a threshold today in my relationship with my sister that is awesome! As amazing as it was before, something has clicked and we feel more comfortable talking about stuff that, while can still be awkward, we would never even consider talking about before! In particular today was the issue of breasts and sizes. It just felt like such a perfect girl conversation to me, and I think even though I still present male she is really starting to perceive me as female on some fundamental level. And we're a super repressed family who absolutely does not talk about stuff like that, so its even more amazing.

I loved this good report about having girl-talk with your sister....  and about breast size!!!!

I do wonder how that conversation will go if you end up with larger breasts than hers?  This definetly is a good report.

[Cassi]

I loved this good report about having girl-talk with your sister....  and about breast size!!!!

I do wonder how that conversation will go if you end up with larger breasts than hers?  This definetly is a good report.

Will just have to milk whatever we can get out of it

[Roll]

I mean it was still awkward but in like... a fun way? Like giggling constantly about it while blushing? Not "Oh dear god, I'm mortified saying this."

So yeah it still feels kind of weird to be talking about stuff like this to a degree, but wow am I moving past it compared to where I was.

We were talking about it while walking her dog, and it was hilarious because right as we were getting back to the house I was mentioning female relative comparisons and that from what I knew of my mom's side (all of her genetic female relatives died before I was born) people were quite well endowed in the bosom department (and on outward appearance I tend to take after my mom), and I made a comment about our dad's sister like "I haven't seen her since I was a kid and don't really remember how large she was." So the last part of the conversation was her laughing with me about just the shear absurdity of what I had just said and how in any other context it would be insanely wrong: "I haven't seen my aunt's breasts lately."

[Northern Star Girl]

I mean it was still awkward but in like... a fun way? Like giggling constantly about it while blushing? Not "Oh dear god, I'm mortified saying this."

So yeah it still feels kind of weird to be talking about stuff like this to a degree, but wow am I moving past it compared to where I was.

We were talking about it while walking her dog, and it was hilarious because right as we were getting back to the house I was mentioning female relative comparisons and that from what I knew of my mom's side (all of her genetic female relatives died before I was born) people were quite well endowed in the bosom department (and on outward appearance I tend to take after my mom), and I made a comment about our dad's sister like "I haven't seen her since I was a kid and don't really remember how large she was." So the last part of the conversation was her laughing with me about just the shear absurdity of what I had just said and how in any other context it would be insanely wrong: "I haven't seen my aunt's breasts lately."

Ellie:  This is a great reaction to you and your sister's girl-talk.... 
... it appears that there will be more great sister-girl-talk time ahead.
Please keep the updates coming!!
Danielle

[Roll]

Okay it's starting to feel like all I do is talk about my sister at this point, but what can I say, she keeps delivering! She volunteers a lot, and participates in her school's special needs outreach. Tonight they had a prom, and so she was there helping out. They had tons of corsages (and candy! ) left over, and she brought one home for me. It was such an amazing gesture, just sort of as a token of something I won't ever be able to experience in life, I know everyone here probably knows exactly what I mean. And for her to think of that... yet again I am just blown away by her insight.

She tells me a lot lately how proud she is of me for doing all of this, but she doesn't seem to have any idea just how proud I am of her in turn no matter what I tell her.

And I really needed that tonight too. I've been incredibly stressed all day because of some school stuff (everyone in group project worth 25% of grade due tomorrow basically decided not to do anything, so I spent the past 12 hours crash coursing database minimum cardinality triggers, and let me tell you its even less fun than it sounds and it sounds like hell itself).

[Sarah_P]

That is so sweet..... It takes someone really special to realize how much we missed out on growing up.

I hope your project goes well!

[ChrissyRyan]

Okay it's starting to feel like all I do is talk about my sister at this point, but what can I say, she keeps delivering! She volunteers a lot, and participates in her school's special needs outreach. Tonight they had a prom, and so she was there helping out. They had tons of corsages (and candy! ) left over, and she brought one home for me. It was such an amazing gesture, just sort of as a token of something I won't ever be able to experience in life, I know everyone here probably knows exactly what I mean. And for her to think of that... yet again I am just blown away by her insight.

She tells me a lot lately how proud she is of me for doing all of this, but she doesn't seem to have any idea just how proud I am of her in turn no matter what I tell her.

And I really needed that tonight too. I've been incredibly stressed all day because of some school stuff (everyone in group project worth 25% of grade due tomorrow basically decided not to do anything, so I spent the past 12 hours crash coursing database minimum cardinality triggers, and let me tell you its even less fun than it sounds and it sounds like hell itself).

Ah, the teammate slackers scenario.  Sadly it is not rare.  Cascade delete them, ha.

[Roll]

Cascade delete them, ha.

If only it was an O-O relationship to begin with. >_< (That deserves special anime consternation face.)

[Roll]

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with my day's venture of courage and idiocy comingled into a hot mess of something or other.

So I mentioned before my courage is way up. Well, today I had to play tech support at my dad and step mother's business meeting. I was riding with my step mother (all other cars were in play so had to hitch ride) and she had to do some stuff so i just wandered into Target. Well, after the pants and other stuff, I went and just looked through makeup section. No embarrassment or anything. I just looked through it like I had every right to be there (which of course I did, but you know). I grabbed an eyeliner pencil and went to find a contour palette to try to reproduce the look in my really cool makeup photo. Well, I have never shopped makeup in person before and didn't understand how it was laid out by brand not product. Saw contouring stuff, and they didn't seem to have a lot of options, and what they did have just had a logo no brand name visible. BR was the logo. (At this point, some of you have surely seen where this is headed.) I knew I needed light, and they only had Light to Medium and Medium to Dark. Well, I was just looking at them for a good like 5 minutes trying to figure out if this was right, if the light was sold out, or what, and the colors on the light to medium definitely seemed way darker than I expected. I got a text my step mother was ready and we had to get out to meeting location to setup, so I just said screw it and grabbed the light to medium. Checked out. Bit later in car, I go to get something out of bag and the palette is upside down and the brand name is on the back in big lettering: Black Radiance. So yeah. I accidentally bought what, if I used it, would amount to black face. So not only did I have the courage to buy makeup, I had the courage to later return makeup. Second trip someone pointed out right stuff to me. They didn't know it was for me necessarily, but I didn't make any excuses about it or anything I don't think. Also that trip grabbed some lip liner, because I keep forgetting to get some.

So yeah, really pleased with myself. So I get home and am excited to try something out, thought hey let's check ou the eyeliner real quick. So I try to put it on. Yeah, not great. But I knew that going in it's going to take practice. What I didn't know is that the eyeliner I bought can't be removed by the makeup wipes I have. And at that point, everyone else got home and needed my help with something. So not only did I have the courage to buy and return makeup, I had the courage to walk downstairs with smudged eyeliner that won't come off on. So that was fun!

Also, I swear to god my eyes have gotten paler. They were a deep blue with brown spot (Heterochromia), but now they are a greyish blue approaching hazel. Not sure I particularly like that change.

[Sarah_P]

Yep, most eyeliner and mascara doesn't come off easily with standard wipes. One thing that takes it off really easily is coconut oil. It's a lot better for your eyes than makeup removers. You can dip a soft cloth (a junk one, because it will be permanently stained) or round makeup sponge in coconut oil and hold it gently against your eye for about a minute, then wipe it off.

Congratulations on your shopping! Just remember, there's lots of guys that buy makeup, either for themselves or for the women in their lives. Most clerks will be happy to help, even if you tell them it's for you!

[amberwaves]

Ellie I am so proud of you! You are making some major strides lately.  I got one don't think you talk about your sister too much.  She is your biggest source of support and it's natural to talk about that aspect, especially when you really admire the person.

Don't feel bad about the confusion when shopping for makeup the first time.  I'm willing to bet it happens to most of us.  I don't care much for drug store brands.  They are harder to apply well, don't seem to cover as well, or they are just pure pigment it seems.  I do recommend them as a cheap intro to doing your makeup, but you will likely be frustrated for a while.  Once you have the money and a little proficiency go get some of the good stuff and you will be amazed at the difference.  Problem is it is so easy to drop serious cash.  I spent about 300 to get a set of nice brushes, foundation, liner, shadow, and powder.  Now I can pick up pieces piecemeal. A wise investment is a neutrals shadow palette.  You can make a couple of different looks from it and wear it with anything and anywhere.  I love my Urban Decay one.

Practice makes perfect girl.  Watch a few YouTube tutorials and play around to see what you like.  Eyeliner can be hard to learn.  There are different shapes eyes and reach does better with a different look.  My wife had been applying her eyeliner wrong for her eyes for years, when she wore it at least.  In addition there are different types of liner stuck as crayon, gel, marker, etc.  Crayon/pencil is my least favorite.  Harder to get a crisp line and many don't apply very easily.  Marker is probably my favorite for daily wear and is very easy to practice with comparatively.  I learned that I have to apply my liner on my left eye with my left hand even though I am incredibly right handed because I am left eye dominant and it messes with me to have my hand blocking my eye.  You'll get there girl.

I love the updates.  Keep being courageous!

[Megan.]

Micellar water usually gets waterproof makeup off. I'm super lazy and get the pre-soaked wipes [emoji23]

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[PurpleWolf]

AWESOME progress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soon you'll go full-time guaranteed  !!!

Well, I have never shopped makeup in person before and didn't understand how it was laid out by brand not product.

OMG never been in that section before  ???

And hey, I use this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/LOreal-Paris-Absolute-Make-Up-Remover/dp/B000T1TZGU
L'Oreal Paris Absolute Make-Up Remover Eye & Lip 125ml
Does the job,  ! OK technically my SO buys it and I use none myself but have tried it! Will remove waterproof mascara etc.  Gentle on the eyes.
Hey I know some of this make-up stuff too  !
But really, I never remove eyeliner with anything. It will wear out on its own during the night. It will get smudgy and when I wash my face I have some black stains on my towel haha!
(Tip: you need to firmly shake it before use)
And now I'm giving you girls make-up tips, damn!

[Cassi]

AWESOME progress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soon you'll go full-time guaranteed  !!!
OMG never been in that section before  ???

And hey, I use this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/LOreal-Paris-Absolute-Make-Up-Remover/dp/B000T1TZGU
L'Oreal Paris Absolute Make-Up Remover Eye & Lip 125ml
Does the job,  ! OK technically my SO buys it and I use none myself but have tried it! Will remove waterproof mascara etc.  Gentle on the eyes.
Hey I know some of this make-up stuff too  !
But really, I never remove eyeliner with anything. It will wear out on its own during the night. It will get smudgy and when I wash my face I have some black stains on my towel haha!
(Tip: you need to firmly shake it before use)
And now I'm giving you girls make-up tips, damn!

Keep doing that Wolfy and we'll have to change your name to Purple Wolfette :O)

[PurpleWolf]

Keep doing that Wolfy and we'll have to change your name to Purple Wolfette :O)

NeverrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRR  !
Be careful Cassi I have sharp teeth 

[Cassi]

NeverrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRR  !
Be careful Cassi I have sharp teeth 

ROTFL - I use to have fangs but between the dentist and HRT they're disappearing   Meow.

[Allison S]

It's so much fun to shop for makeup at a store. I ended up buying my stuff online based on most purchased and reviewed by customers. Actually a lot of the brushes and makeup I had noticed in youtube tutorials or makeup artists using. I use a loose powder now and it's "matte" really good!! I love my liquid eyeliner, even though it took me 10 tries today to get a simple line going.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Izzy Grace]

Look at all this progress! Your coming into focus girl!

My life finally calmed down a bit so I hope I'm back for a bit, or until chaos hits again, anyway.