Faith's Progress

[Faith]

another small step

We went out Sunday. The only thing mens in my outfit was my boots. I don't have womens boots but black cowboy boots are fairly androgynous I think. I didn't tuck my pants into my boots, I'm not sure I like that style anyways. I had on a nice blouse, not sure what it's called (half sleeves, buttoned at the elbow) and jeans. Nothing that screamed 'girls' but if anyone looked it was obvious.

a future plus

public dinner date in Dec where lots of friends will be.  My wife has her outfit picked out. She laid out something for me that she thought would go with it ... womens clothes ... Didn't quite coodinate. We'll be going shopping .. wooo .. really, I can't believe I enjoy shopping so much. We have to be careful, shopping gets expensive.

OH! happy note about Sunday. I was asked by a male friend about diet change and stuff and how I was feeling. He said he could see I was doing much better because the sparkle in my eyes.  I felt good, I still feel good, it was a good day.

[Jayne01]

I'm glad you had a nice day out on Sunday and that you are feeling good about yourself.

It is so nice that your wife is so supportive. I don't have the words to describe how fortunate I am to also have a supportive wife. The first time my wife and I went shopping to find some women's clothes for me, I was way too nervous to try anything on. I picked a top off a rack and was wondering how it would look on me but I didn't even have the nerve to just hold it in front of me while looking in a mirror to estimate the size. My wife just grabbed it out of my hand and held it against herself and said that it was a nice top but the size was too small for my shoulders. She didn't even hesitate. We had a really fun day shopping that day. Unfortunately I wasn't ready to dress in women's clothes and subsequently got rid of anything I had, but that is another story. It must have felt really nice for you when your wife laid out some women's clothes for you. Yes, shipping can get expensive, but it's fun! What!?! Did I just say shopping is fun??? Who am I?[emoji16]

Jayne

[Faith]

we both lost so much weight at this point that that she had to give up her favorite slacks (granted the slacks were a little big in the first place). She put them out and said "try them" .. they fit. I now have hand-me-downs from my wife.

[Faith]

Another update. Am I updating too much? I don't know, I just want to share so here I am.

My wife and I were heading to pick up the grandchildren for the weekend (off for thanksgiving) and we decided to mall shop first. Totally agreed upon window shopping only since our budget's really a mess right now.

I did not dress 'girly', just nice slacks, blouse, and my new shoes. I did catch some odd glances though so some people noticed. I didn't care, I felt good.

We managed to walk the whole mall checking things out, comparing things, generally just enjoying the evening. We found that our tastes run very similar even though our body styles don't match and some stuff we like would only work on one of us or the other.

Just before we left the conversation went back to a pair of boots that I tried on. Now, my black western boots are the highest heels I've ever worn and truthfully figured I wouldn't want anything higher (I'm 5'10"ish) so it was a real surprise to me how much I liked them. And, to top it off, they're pointy toed. Well, we bought them .. so much for the budget . The cashier was a girl I new for a previous job that she'd had. As she was ringing it up she asked the wife if she was wearing them out. Well, her eyes widened a little when I said that I was ... she took it in stride and I clomped out

Here's a picture for posterity:



Now to learn to walk without clomping

[steph2.0]

Another update. Am I updating too much? I don't know, I just want to share so here I am.

Faith, don't ever censor yourself here. Heck, you've seen my thread, and know that I don't hold back. Those who are interested are most welcome to visit and comment (I've made some cool friends that way), and those who aren't interested aren't being forced to read it. Keep it going! I'll keep coming back.

As she was ringing it up she asked the wife if she was wearing them out. Well, her eyes widened a little when I said that I was ... she took it in stride and I clomped out

Sounds like an awesome day out with the person you love. And it sounds like she's got good fashion sense. I loves my wifey to pieces, but when it comes to fashion, makeup, etc., she's completely clueless. I've been having to learn that stuff on my own and with the help of other friends. The good news is I kinda have a feel for it already, and I also have no lack of friends who want to give me advice. Too much, sometimes, but I love the fact that they want to help.

And those boots! Awesome, and good on you for wearing them out!

Those boots were made for clompin'!

Steph

[Faith]

Thanks Steph, I really didn't think that I'd post much but, once I started, it all seems to want to come out. You're way ahead of me in this even though we're close to the same age. I appreciate your viewpoints.


Love my boots .. love my wife more. Choking up just thinking about how supportive that she has been.

tiny 'aha' moment to mention. We were folding and putting clothes away when I stopped and looked at my drawer. I called my wife aside, pointed and asked "What do you see?"  She goes, "I see a girls drawer". The only thing in it for a man was two pair of socks for doing yard work. 

[Jayne01]

Hi Faith. Don't feel like you are posting too much. Like Steph said, nobody is being forced to read and those who do read your posts are doing so because they want to. I subscribe to your thread also and read everything you write. I don't always have something to say so I may not respond, but rest assured I do read it with great interest.

It's really cool that some of your wife's clothes also fit you and that you can go shopping together and have so much fun. And way to go with your wardrobe transforming into a girl's one. I am still stalled at a single girls pyjama and a necklace for my wardrobe. I did once have girl jeans, a top, a small handbag and a pair of women's boots that my wife helped me pick out, but they have long since been purged during one of my many previous meltdowns. I miss having these clothes now, although it's almost summer here and it would be too hot to wear them.

Reading your story and Steph's gives me a real boost. So keep the updates coming girl!

Jayne

[Faith]

I won't stop updating. When something happens then I need to share somewhere. I'm not 'out' to anyone but my wife and she already knows what transpired.  'Out' will happen in stages, as I change and (hopefully) my body changes then I'll answer anyone brave enough to ask 

Her clothes only fit when they were too big for her in the first place.

I have a couple pair of guy jeans buried in one drawer. I don't wear them. I may start wearing my girls comfy shoes to work. The tennis shoes that I wear make my feet sweat too much. Jammies were the first thing the wife and I bought together. I love sleeping in them. Odd since for years I slept in underwear only. I have a clutch on the way to replace my wallet. I hate having a wallet in my pocket so I've been carrying it for years already. Time to do it right.

I don't have any jewelry. I brought up earrings .. that'll be a hard sell. It's very low on the list of things so I won't press that one. I've wanted them pierced from before I even admitted anything to myself, just couldn't get the nerve up. So it can wait longer.

[Jayne01]

Jammies were the first thing the wife and I bought together. I love sleeping in them. Odd since for years I slept in underwear only.

I'm the same. Underwear only and if it was cold in winter then I would find an old comfy tshirt to wear. I now love my pj's.

I don't have any jewelry. I brought up earrings .. that'll be a hard sell. It's very low on the list of things so I won't press that one. I've wanted them pierced from before I even admitted anything to myself, just couldn't get the nerve up. So it can wait longer.

Since the beginning of time I wouldn't wear any jewellery. I used to hike that my only jewellery was my watch. About 18 months ago I said to my wife that I wouldn't mind a necklace with a pendant. She loves Pandora jewellery so we went into one of their stores together and bought a chain and found a nice charm to hang as a pendant. When we got home, my wife went through her bracelet charms and found the letter charms of the initials of our names. She kept my initial for herself and gave me her initial to hang on my chain. I wore it on and off for a while as I was learning to accept myself but now I wear it every day and I love it.

I also mentioned getting my ears pierced once. I don't want to push her too much. We are going on a holiday in late January and am hoping to get my ears pierced before we go, but if I don't then that's ok. I have other priorities.

You and I seem very much alike in the way our transition is progressing and also the way our wives are accepting who we are.

Keep the posts coming. I enjoy reading them. I also update my thread whenever I feel like saying something. It is like a diary for me which other people can interact with if they chose.

Jayne

[Laurie]

Hi Faith

I'm Laurie. I don't remember sharing with you previously. You may have with me but to be honest My memory hasn't been working all that well recently. So just in case let me say Welcome to Susan's Place. ((Hug)) I see that you have already come in and have been here for awhile. I just read your thread and it is a story of love, excitement, tentativeness, and hope. You seem like a positive type of person and that will serve you well. I look forward to reading more from you.
  You caught my eye in Steph(anie's thread with a recent post in which you said you like reading her stories and those of others here and you couldn't see you getting to the point of those you read that are a little ahead of you now. Others have told you in that thread not to sell yourself short and so have I. In a shameless plug for my own post to you I'll make it easy for you to find it.

Laurie's Post

  With that I'll give you a ((Hug)) and one for you to give your wife ((Hug)) and leave you be.

Laurie

[Faith]

Thanks for the kind welcome., Laurie. I've read your replies to others, they always stand out for they're positive reinforcement. I do feel welcome here. I am a mash of conflicting thoughts and emotions right now, still mostly positive. And, yes, excited . As for how well I'll progress, I am keeping my hopes down and desires high. It works for me, at least so far. 

[Faith]

I stated this in another thread, I wanted to comment here as part of my progression.

I finally shaved my legs. I have never shaved my legs, ever, it feels great. When I told my wife all she did was laugh and say, "I am not surprised".

[Faith]

nothing progressively new. I picked up (I should say we, the Wife and I) a couple 'new' tops. She didn't get any for herself but she did say that i have to let her borrow mine. no problem there 

I've dressed mostly feminine this weekend. I don't think my grandson noticed at all. My granddaughter did (older one). she saw me in my sports bra as well, after a walk. Yes, I know, I said I hate bras, I still do. The problem is sensitive nipples. I don't know why. If I wear just a shirt, some of them move too much and it's distractingly irritating. So, a sports bra with thin pad to avoid it depending on the shirt/top.

Anyway, my granddaughter noticed and mentioned it to my wife out of my hearing (so she thought, I heard her from the other end of the house). No problem, just told her why.  I did ask her about it later and told her that any time she wanted to say or ask anything that she could just ask me. I will not be offended, hurt, or embarrassed. I prefer open comments and she should feel free to speak up.

It's a good first step with her. Speaking of, it led to showing her the boots. Her feet are almost as big as mine and I told her that anytime she needed to dress up, she could borrow the boots. She tried them on and made the 'I'm going to take them home' gesture. Nope, BORROW! 

side note, ladies, on foot size. She is much shorter than me with almost the same size feet. So, try not to fret over it.

[Faith]

oh, I forgot to add. My daughter got my wife to put on fake nails (her nails are bad). She decided that she likes them. I had to help her re-apply them. Her work habits aren't conducive to keeping them on, she'll figure it out. She commented about getting all girly, I told her that we can get girly together ... I think I'm a bad influence.

That was this morning, I've had a great start to my day

[Devlyn]

Love the boots! I remember that first leg shaving, what magic that was. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Jayne01]

It must feel very validating when your wife says that she wants to borrow your clothes.

It feels really good the first time you shave your legs. The way clothes feel against your skin, or how a light breeze feels different.  Wait until the first time you feel cold and get goose bumps. It's like you can feel the hair growing back. But it's all good, I can't imagine letting it grow back again, and thankfully the HRT has considerably slowed down the growth.

Jayne

[Faith]

I started this day sick. Blah, I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I had to stay home from work, no way I could go in and subject others to my misery. That's the only thing that's got me down today.

Lots of Dr. runs yesterday, nothing do do with gender issues. The main thing was .. My kidneys are improving!. There's a scale of 0-100, at 15 you're on dialysis. I started a 32, bumped up to 38. Yesterdays evaluation has me at 52. Blood pressure has been hitting the normal range for the past couple weeks. For perspective, I've run about 145/104 with meds most days. Now I test 119/78 at home. At the Dr, with the normal stress that goes with it, I still read a perfect 120/80. I've lost about 25lbs in the past few weeks.

To cap things off, wife and I went window-shopping after the DRs. Yes. Really. Just window shopping. We did pretty good until the jewelery section. As we checked out with just a back brush (ours broke, oops) my Wife puts two necklaces down on the register. Matching necklaces with interlocking rings. The caption on the package states, "Forever Linked, Forever Loved."

I haven't worn my wedding band in years due to some nodules on my knuckles (not arthritis). This is a very simple way to make up for that .. I love it. I put it on immediately after my shower and haven't taken it off. We have a future plan of getting wedding band tattoos since physical rings are out of the question.

Yes, despite feeling sick, I feel good. 

[Faith]

I always forget something, there's so much going on in my head right now.

My forum name, chosen with the help of Devlyn (thanks, girl!  ). We ended up with Faith. I figured I'd use a variation of Faith Nicole, thinking Faith by itself would be taken.

Anyway, long story short, my wife peeks over my shoulder when I'm reading the forum (I hide nothing anymore) and sees the name. She asked, "Is that you?" and then sees the profile pic from faceapp (I showed her that before). Her comments? 1) she said that is very close to what I used to look like years ago. She said she went through old pictures to compare. 2) She told me that one of the names she had set aside for one of our children was .. wait for it .. Faith Nicole.

I had no idea. Maybe somewhere in years past I'd heard her mention it and it was buried in my brain matter waiting for the right time. Thanks to Devlyn it's made it into the world.

So not only did I pick a name with meaning to her as well, I also learned that's shes looking things up on her own in support of what I'm going through.

I love my Wife, I don't think I deserve her.

[Jayne01]

I started this day sick. Blah, I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I had to stay home from work, no way I could go in and subject others to my misery. That's the only thing that's got me down today.

That's a bummer. I hope you feel better soon.

I am happy you received good news from your Dr about your health.

Wife puts two necklaces down on the register. Matching necklaces with interlocking rings. The caption on the package states, "Forever Linked, Forever Loved."

What a lovely gesture. Your wife sounds pretty awesome.

Get well soon.

Jayne

[steph2.0]

So not only did I pick a name with meaning to her as well, I also learned that's shes looking things up on her own in support of what I'm going through.

I love my Wife, I don't think I deserve her.

Cool story, Ms. Faith! And don't ever think you're undeserving. Don't forget that it's a two way street, and she picked you, too. You got the spouse you deserve. Any who stick with us have earned all our love and respect, but we don't have to devalue ourselves to do that.

Steph