Faith's Progress

[LizK]

....

Panic at sudden door knocks or no knocks since none of my family knock when they show up, they just barge in. It's worse with family. Delivery people (who do knock) see what they see, too bad for them

.....

Wow you came so close to just about pulling that off ...never mind I am sure you will get another chance. You make a good observation about your wife now looking at things for you in a feminine way and how they will look on you...it is a real shift in perspective. I know when my wife does it I still marvel. What it shows in a really solid practical way is just how solidly she supports you.

As for the above quote, I have been living fulltime now for about 9 months and my first reaction when the doorbell goes is still the same as it always has been and that is to dash for cover...only to find myself slapping my senses back and answering the door. 

[inenidok]

My wife and kids also support me, and its awesome that they do. Happy to see your wife supports you as well

[Faith]

Today's update.

One of the guys I talk to everyday took the plunge and asked about my makeup. He basically said, "I'm just going to ask, what's with the makeup?"

I started laughing, too funny. He's a great guy and I really don't think he cares one way or the other. I asked him who else had noticed - pretty much everybody. Which makes sense, I am not exactly hiding. They were afraid to say something/ask me so were talking to him ... like he knew? So, he just straight up asked me. I like that.

I summed up that life's too short to worry about what people think and I'm wearing/doing things I like for me. I did not cross the gender line, not ready for that one, it's too soon. I'll cross that when the wife is (and I am, for that matter) 100% comfortable with my changes, or when they become so obvious there's no real choice.

Plus side overall, even though they were afraid to say anything, they don't treat me any different at this point.

He said he's going to tell them that he asked and I got mad and stormed out. I told him to use the phrase "hissy fit" HAH! I hadn't thought of that phrase for years much less heard it.

All in all, a good day to end the work week on and another high note for me.

[Laurie]

Yes Faith I would say it was a high point and good for you girl ((Hugs)) It sounds like you made just have a friend there and I'll agree that they others are treating to okay even if they are asking questions. They will figure it out or be told soon enough. I would call it another step in becoming Faith. A little at a time and you will get there girl.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Jayne01]

That is great news Faith. It's pretty cool how this guy just asked you. It sounded like he was being respectful by asking rather than stay in the shadows listening to whispers from other colleagues. Your response to him was perfect.

It will be easier to come out with more information next time if/when the time comes.

Jayne

[Faith]

I am officially out to my sister-in-law (6 yrs younger than my wife).  For some reference, when my Wife and I first got married, for years her family was in limbo for living quarters (home rebuild, no room, etc. Not homeless) so she lived with us for years. Formative years, pre-teen to late teen. We consider her our first daughter, she's always treated me as a father. I gave her away at her wedding (I lie though, I kept her instead. Some things you cannot give away).

It was by text but we'll be following up with a call.  She's the one I mentioned previously was going to call. Somehow the cell lines criss-crossed and I never got her call although she tried. In any case, she's already familiar with transgender and associated disphoria.

100% supportive. I can't wait to actually talk to her, if I can hold the tears in check. I cannot believe how easy I choke up right now.

[Laurie]

Good news Faith.

[Faith]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Just out of bed from an hour long snuggle session. Snuggling really gets you ready for the day


I got my phone call last night, had a nice long talk with 1st daughter/sis-in-law. Oh yeah! She's on board. There won't be issues on that front. She's also ready to start calling me Faith. Again, I just said whatever makes you comfortable, I'm good either way. I'm to tell her if it becomes an issue. I directed her to his forum to read up on my postings, in case I next anything uncovered.

[steph2.0]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Just out of bed from an hour long snuggle session. Snuggling really gets you ready for the day


I got my phone call last night, had a nice long talk with 1st daughter/sis-in-law. Oh yeah! She's on board. There won't be issues on that front. She's also ready to start calling me Faith. Again, I just said whatever makes you comfortable, I'm good either way. I'm to tell her if it becomes an issue. I directed her to his forum to read up on my postings, in case I next anything uncovered.

YES!!!!

What a wonderful Christmas gift! Today is definitely Merry. I'm so happy for you, Faith!

Stephanie

[Faith]

More progress. I kind of feel bad posting this after reading Trudie's post.

I cornered my two girls (ok, caught them alone together) and made sure, for certain, that they knew exactly what was going on. They are onboard and fully supportive. My oldest is familiar since she is in training and currently working in a Dr's office that caters to transgender (which I didn't know).

My son, well, he lives in his own world and doesn't notice much unless you rub his nose in it. He does live with us though so my Wife made sure to point out some of my changes and clothes choices specifically. He doesn't care. He's a face value person, not into nuance and subtlety at all. If I'm happy, he's happy.

So for me, this has been one of the best Christmases ever. I wish that everyone could have the kind of days and the family support that I've had.

[LJH24]

That's awesome to hear. I'm glad it's been such a wonderful Christmas for you. <3

[KathyLauren]

I am glad to hear that, Faith.  It is so nice to have family on board.

[Jayne01]

That is fantastic Faith. What a lovely Christmas this is for you. Your wife and kids are awesome.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Jayne

[Katie Ellen]

Hi Faith

I'm new here. I just read through this entire post. We are similar in many ways. You have more courage than I do however. I too have a wonderful wife, but I am only out to her. I am seeing a gender therapist so hopefully I will get better. I look forward to following your journey.

Katie

[Laurie]

Hi Faith,

   What can I say except AWESOME!! What a nice gift to receive. Now if we can get Faith 100% on board it will be FANTASTIC!!

Hugs to all the family and for you Faith.

Laurie

[Faith]

Hi Faith

I'm new here. I just read through this entire post. We are similar in many ways. You have more courage than I do however. I too have a wonderful wife, but I am only out to her. I am seeing a gender therapist so hopefully I will get better. I look forward to following your journey.

Katie

Welcome to the party Katie.  Pull up a seat, grab a hot drink, and relax.

Hi Faith,

   What can I say except AWESOME!! What a nice gift to receive. Now if we can get Faith 100% on board it will be FANTASTIC!!

Hugs to all the family and for you Faith.

Laurie

Laurie, Welcome home! Everything is AWESOME (well, except this morning). Trust me, I am closer to 100% than ever, which I'll detail shortly.
This morning had nothing to do with anything specific, just a morning where everything went wrong. Rats nest hair, smeary makeup, spilled stuff all over the kitchen floor (and myself) while putting my lunch together. I am sooo grumpy right now. It's a normal grump though, not a depression grump

I'll pull my thoughts together and post more in a bit,

[Faith]

We made it to my 1st therapist session yesterday. Very nice lady, definitely familiar and unafraid to touch on the subjects. I was worried when I found out that her office was at a church and held to 'christian' views that she might be uptight, condescending, or leaning toward the 'it's wrong' theory. That was not the case at all

Note: I don't have any issue with true Christians, I'm married to one, I do have issues with self-proclaiming posers that only push their own agenda ... but, enough of that ...

6 lbs of paperwork before we started (off the clock). Makes sense. It gives them some ammo to sift through and get things rolling. The questions all followed the 'get to know';'where do you stand'. Nothing surprised me. I was very comfortable with myself and my presentation. OH! presentation. I got to wear one of my new going-out outfits .. I totally rocked it, I felt GREAT! I could tell my wife liked it as well, not by what she said but in the way she looked at me. Which made me feel even better. To dress up as I like, go into public, and not have her be embarrassed by me .. big plus.

I honestly think I impressed the therapist with my outfit and comfort level wearing it. I knew there was no way I was going to my 1st session in male mode, nope, wasn't happening.

we touched on everything from the physical to the emotional to peer opinions. A very good all around start.

Maybe I was too comfortable. By the time we were half-way through talking, she started concentrating on my wife's responses and answers. I know my wife accepts, I know she loves me, but any talk of physical changes makes her uncomfortable. To be fair, any talk of anything sexual or dealing with genitals makes her uncomfortable. She was raised very strict and that's all private stuff. So, I don't think it was me specifically, just the topic in general.

The therapist covered work, what I wore (scribble note, scribble note, scribble .. therapists love to write). No, I don't dress this way at work. No, only the shirts are mens. Yes, I've been wearing makeup at work. How do people respond .. you get the drill ... OH! and YES, it's my real hair. I wear it this way all the time

psst, several places in the questionnaire had male/female check boxes ... I drew a line through the whole thing .. she noticed.

that's all I can put thought to right now. Anyone with curiosity questions or comments, fire away.

[KathyLauren]

Yay!!  I am glad it was a good session.  It is important to be comfortable with your therapist.

Good for you for going dressed!  I was so scared that the best I could do for my first therapy appointments was an androgynous look.

[Laurie]

Hi Faith,

  I was pleased to read your account of your therapy session and that it was a joint one with your wife. That was awesome. Kudos to you for going en femme too. I think it was my 3rd session before I went en femme and I rocked it too just as I am sure you did. Not a dress but skinny jeans tucked into my stiletto high calf black boots, a white turtle neck, bid gold tone necklace and makeup and wig. It I was going to do it I was doing it right.
  It does sound like your therapist is interested in you and your wife and that is good she should be interested in helping both of you. This was but the first session and they will get more personal and intense as the issues come out. Don't let that scare you two off. It will only be things you need to address.
  Great! Now I have to keep my next appointment with mine after telling you that. I have been of two minds about going to my next appointment because I didn't like what he wanted me to do. No I haven't done it. It's still an issue for me.  There will be times like that.
   I'm glad you thought it was a good meeting. What did your wife think of it? She should be congratulated too. You better pass on the hug to her too.

Hugs for both of you,
  Laurie

[Faith]

Hey Kathy, Laurie.

Thanks. Dressing did not feel brave or anything to me, it felt right. progress I didn't break out in any fashion statements. Nice top, slacks, and my boots. There was no androgynous look about it though, definitely feminine

My wife liked her. She's not great about opening up (but expects me to .. say wha??!!!!  )  I've got her talked into a solo session next visit, at least for the first half hour. I told her I would go and wait outside to come in for the second half. She's not happy but she'll do it for me. I told her not to feel required to say anything that didn't relate to me and our situation.

I'll give her all kinds of hugs, hugs are good.  and Laurie, you'd better keep your appointment!  There's no "Do as I say, not as I do" around here.