Faith's Progress

[Dena]

horrendous internet, takes 15 mins to load a page. I'll be back when it gets fixed.  I'm not dropping off the face of the earth. I'm still floating on a multi-day high

Possibly if you go to profile>modify profile>Look and Layout then turn off avatars and signatures your pages will load faster. Unfortunately you will need to stay away from threads with a large number of pictures posted in it.

[Jayne01]

horrendous internet, takes 15 mins to load a page. I'll be back when it gets fixed.  I'm not dropping off the face of the earth. I'm still floating on a multi-day high

I'll probably miss some posts so just in case:

WOW, you look great
Get your head out of there and straighten up, what's the matter with you?
I'm sooo glad for you.
I'm so sorry that happened.
Some people don't deserve feeling distressed over.
If that's how they are, they aren't friends anyways.
A good friend like that is hard to find, grab on tight .. but not too tight, their eyes might pop out.

pick one of the above 

I will pick the first two. Can I pick more than one?
The first one because I feel good, so I will pretend I also look good. Thank you by the way.
The second one because I am me and will no doubt need to be told to get my head out and pull myself together.

Happy New Year Faith. Don't stay away too long. I miss you when you are not around.

Jayne

[Faith]

pick as many as fit the moment, add some that I missed.

This is too frustrating. repair guy supposed to be out Tuesday, we'll see.  Meanwhile, here's a close up of our fire. (to hide the body count, jic). I'm pretty much out so I don't care about me. Anyone that might be on here to recognize me can just come up and say so, if they dare, but privacy for others is important as well.



have a Happy New Year

[Sarah_P]

Happy New Year Faith!

Sounds like we have similar ISP's. inexplicable slow downs & complete loss of service are quite frequent with mine....

[Laurie]

Thank you Faith. I'll wish you and your wife a very HAPPY NEW YEAR too,

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Rachel]

It sounds like you have come a long way in a short time. I hope 2018 is good for you and your wife.

[Faith]

Hey all, Welcome Rachel .. Sarah, did you get a welcome? Anyways, welcome both of you to my corner of the world.

After almost a week on a high note, things had to come down. No depression or misery, I'm just really 'blah' .. maybe it's returning to work, or that work interrupted a family evening last night (daughters and I were gathered around doing nails) and I had to drive in .. broke a nail in there somehow. It peeled itself off short .... grrr ....

Spent time yesterday building up a newer computer for my Wife. Hers was really old and running poorly .. I hate working on computers at home. It sets me off into grump-mode like nothing else can.

Eye makeup this morning ... For never having done it and no one to show me, I was dong well, I thought. This morning, puff here, poof there, mascara blob, big mess, hard to clean up. My eyes are burning, must have gotten some directly in my eyes. And I swear my hair changes on a daily basis, just so I can't get a consistent look. Oily, flat, dry, static, straight, curl out, curl in .. arrrggghh ...

Go ahead, laugh, those are normal day-to-day issues that have to be dealt with. Well, I never have had to deal with them. My mornings for years have brush teeth, splash water, quick comb ... done.

Have I mentioned the lab test the other morning? I don't remember and don't feel like scrolling back to look. blood draw for 28 tests. It really looked like the drew half my blood out .. in truth, it was maybe a few table spoons. The lab tech did scrummage around for matching pink bandage to go with my outfit. Dr follow-up on the 18th.

Considering the bad things that I could be posting I should just shut up. Can I go home now?

OO oo .. (how come you can't type that and have it look right?). So, the best non-gift I've had so far.
My wife casually mentioned that she almost bought me a light dress. Say what? From 'no dress' to 'that would look good on him/her/they/she/he (need to smash them together into a new pronoun somehow .. no not 'IT', I am not an IT).

I think I've purged out most of my brain mush .. back to work ...

[Laurie]

Whaaat?!

  Faith how can you even say you don't like working on computers at home? That is fun, distraction, rewarding, and enjoyment. I've built a computer for no one before. I just wanted to build one again and bought the parts I didn't have a cobbled one together. I either sold it to a friend for what it cost me or gave it away I don't remember. Sometime there's a challenge to get one working right but that only adds to the satisfaction.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Faith]

Whaaat?!

  Faith how can you even say you don't like working on computers at home? That is fun, distraction, rewarding, and enjoyment. I've built a computer for no one before. I just wanted to build one again and bought the parts I didn't have a cobbled one together. I either sold it to a friend for what it cost me or gave it away I don't remember. Sometime there's a challenge to get one working right but that only adds to the satisfaction.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Laurie, you must understand. I started computers as a hobby back in the '80s. That was fun. I did that at home for years. Then I got hurt at the job I had at the time and couldn't do it anymore. Got a job in .. yep, computers. So years of 24x7 computers .. I got burned out. Now my day job is all workstations, servers, switches, network and every configuration thereof. I don't want to do it at home. My @home hobby is music (sing and play bass guitar).

Computers at home is like when I mechanic on my own cars, it immediately turns off my profanity filter. Doing mechanic work I am also good at, bad for the temperament.

work's calling .. biaf

[Laurie]

Laurie, you must understand. I started computers as a hobby back in the '80s. That was fun. I did that at home for years. Then I got hurt at the job I had at the time and couldn't do it anymore. Got a job in .. yep, computers. So years of 24x7 computers .. I got burned out. Now my day job is all workstations, servers, switches, network and every configuration thereof. I don't want to do it at home. My @home hobby is music (sing and play bass guitar).

Computers at home is like when I mechanic on my own cars, it immediately turns off my profanity filter. Doing mechanic work I am also good at, bad for the temperament.

work's calling .. biaf

What's to understand?  I have at least 10 more years at it than you. From discreet component computers,  room sized mainframes,  terminals, card and vacuum tape machines. Then PCs when they came out, laptops,  servers, disc arrays,and robotic tape libraries.  Now I build PCs for and help my friends.
   I have enjoyed doing it all and still do. For me it is fun.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

[Faith]

it's just too much. Working on computer at "work" takes all the fun out of computers for me. At home, I don't even like turning mine on. On to better fun things, like doing my nails.

speaking of, while we were doing the 'circle of nails' my daughter commented that she should have let me do hers instead of my other daughter

out the door, on my way home now

take care.

[Jayne01]

Hi Faith, sorry you are feeling "blah". Grey days are ........well, Grey.

I feel your hair frustration. My hair seems to be getting bigger rather than longer. It's out of control. I have been wearing a cap while working in the yard lately and my wife says I look like Crusty the clown from the Simpson's. My cap also has trouble staying on because my mop just pushes it off. I can't wait for gravity to start dragging my hair down instead of it continuing to grow "out".

I also hate working on computers. After years of tinkering and constantly trying to keep them running smoothly, I am over it. I would reach for my iPad before I reach for the laptop. It just works. However, my computer frustrations have greatly reduced since I ditched windows and switched to Mac. I haven't had to install a driver or reformat my computer since.

Please tell your wife that I think she is awesome! And as for the pronouns, how about ditching them and just go with Faith. You are a unique and beautiful person, there is no rule saying that pronouns are needed. But I am interested to see what kind of combined pronoun can be invented by the imaginative people here.

I hope your Grey doesn't last too long and the bright colours return to your mood.

Jayne

[Faith]

most of the 'gray' at this point is the weather. Florida? Where's the sun and heat!!??!!  It's also making me want to snack all day. I am really struggling to keep the munchies at bay.

I'm ashamed to say, I don't address myself as Faith (in my head, silly). I accept it, I know how it makes me feel, I really like it on the forums, but in my head I don't use it. Until I do, it won't feel right to ask or expect other to do so. One more step to make.

pronoun ... hmm .. hesheit ... ahahahahhheheeee .. no, not serious, just trying to get a laugh out.

side note, female co-worker is back from vacation (mentioned earlier somewhere/when). Opened up a dialog and gave her the term transgender. I told her to look it up if she gets curious about what's going on with me. knowing her, she won't look it up and just take me at face value. I'm ok with that.

More gray news. I ordered 3 tops, on-line. Knowing the sizing issues, and since I wanted them big, I ordered several sizes larger. Well, my wife now has three new tops  one top was tight even on her .. a 2XL!! What's up with that!!??!!?

[Jayne01]

I am in the same position as you with my name. I use Jayne on the forum and I like it and it feels natural. But for the rest of the time I find it hard to think o myself as Jayne, let alone ask someone else to address me that way. I guess that is why it's called transition and not switch. It takes time for things to gradually change.

Too bad the sizing of your tops was messed up. I think when they put a size label on clothing, it's just any label picked at random. You would think there would be some kind of universal standard. 1cm is 1cm everywhere (except for you non metric folks where 1cm is 0.383791 inches[emoji846]), so why can't clothing have a standardised measuring system? Oh well, sounds like a good excuse to hit the shops for some retail therapy.

[Cassi]

Bummer on the tops.  I purchased everything I have been wearing and have purchased a few things that did not seem to be the size I picked.

Name thing has caused me some thought and the more I see Cali, the morn its grown on me.  Maybe with a K and Kallie? Not sure on the middle name and no one better suggest Fornia

[Faith]

Bummer on the tops.  I purchased everything I have been wearing and have purchased a few things that did not seem to be the size I picked.

Name thing has caused me some thought and the more I see Cali, the morn its grown on me.  Maybe with a K and Kallie? Not sure on the middle name and no one better suggest Fornia

Kali Fornia .. umm .. mum .. very mum. my mind goes down some very wrong turns sometimes

I took the positive out of the wrong tops. In the 'old' days, I would have been pissed off, angry mad. Now, just disappointed. That's a plus.  The company will still get an earful though, trust me on that one.

[KathyLauren]

I'm ashamed to say, I don't address myself as Faith (in my head, silly). I accept it, I know how it makes me feel, I really like it on the forums, but in my head I don't use it. Until I do, it won't feel right to ask or expect other to do so. One more step to make.

I tend not to address myself by name at all in my thoughts.  But I did embarassingly dead-name myself a couple of times in public.  It was just an automatic thing: someone says, "Hi, I'm <whoever>" and I would automatically say, "Hi, I'm <deadname>."  I think I have managed to override that programming and now respond appropriately.

I do still have trouble with my own pronouns.  I'll be talking to the dog and I'll say, "Dad is going to put on his her shoes now."  The Dad part is fine - I've decided not to confuse the poor pupper by changing my "name", but I need to work on my pronouns.  Or I might think to myself, "Hey, I'm a nice guy girl." 

I'm still a work in progress, so I have to be a bit lenient with others.  I'll correct them, but I don't get mad.

[Rachel]

Names, it took me a while to lose my dead name in my head and respond 100% of the time to Rachel. It is pretty cool at work, everyone calls me Rachel and refers to me as she and her. It is all normal now. It really helps when others always refer to you as you.

This may sound silly but it will help until you go out and try things on. Use a spreadsheet. You need it per clothing manufacturer and type of clothing. Bras and panties are an issue too. Same with Nike and UA and others. Chalk it up to a woman's life.

I just got a great tip from a woman at work for a place that sells workout gear in center city Philly by the gayborhood. I can get workout gear for 40% the cost of Nike and UA. I had just purchased the super heat tops and bottoms to combat the 3 degree F temps this weekend in the early morning. So I look for a woman that I like her style of clothing and ask her where she buys. Most everyone buys the sales.

Woman like to shop and they may offer to go with you and help. It is a really cool way to spend some time.

[Faith]

Mods, don't remove. I am aware of 'nothing leaves the internet once shared'. It's not a problem.

Time to put me out there/here. These are not 'trying to pass' pictures. These are simply, 'I'm comfortable and going to my daughter's house' pictures. The top is a Christmas present, honestly, it's also the most comfortable one that I have.

So here I am, the real me, old and wrinkled and everything. I did not try to fix myself up.
psst, ignore the shoes. Those are my grungy walk-around tennis shoes. I forgot to change them.

 
   

HEY!!  Be Nice!!

[Cassi]

Nice, kinda jealous, I probably weight at least 100 more lol.