Faith's Progress

[Laurie]

  Morning Faith,

  Of course something is working, Faith is working to let herself be known. Have faith in her and let her free Hun. Let her FREE!. She's been cooped up and supressed for far too long and is just now being allowed to get a taste of fresh air and sunlight.

  Hugs,
   Laurie

[HappyMoni]

Thanks for the welcome  Faith. Don't have a lot of time before the wild woman with her butterfly net shows up. Glad you are getting good responses from people. I don't think I am sure exactly who knows and who is left to tell at this point. Don't worry about feeling blaugh sometimes. The real euphoric times can't last forever and I think our brains try to even things out sometimes. On the whole, the more we get free from the secrets the better it is. The weight of the secret is awful. Hope you keep having good responses.
Moni

[Faith]

don't worry about it Moni, I have a net-shredder.

Who's left to tell. Well, let's see, my side. I have one brother to make sure of, one sister that can learn via the grapevine. One other brother that's out of state that may never know. My Wife's side, all of them they all get to learn the long way, we are not going to make a point of telling them.

Only 2 friends that we are worried about. They are married. Considering how she handled someone they knew marrying a long-time GF (lesbian couple), well, it doesn't bode well. It is very likely that we'll lose them as friends and they'll just be acquaintances. Other people ... don't care. They learn or not, accept or not, doesn't matter.



Third therapy session today, as a couple. It went rather well. We didn't know what to bring up since we talk and work things out together. So, I told the therapist, "you must have some questions and points that you want to bring up, lead away" So she did. It did lead to some things we hadn't covered. Made me remember some things that showed pre-teen and into teen that I was already 'this way'. (I don't mean that negatively, obviously). It also showed that as late as mid-teens I was leaning and then buried it due to guilt? embarrassment? Doesn't matter now.



Weight made it to 166 lbs for 2 days. I'm back up to 170. It should be easy to drop it again and make it permanent. Weight tends to fluctuate a bit before settling down. I've at least broken that sticky weight point finally.



miracle moment.

As we were leaving I needed the restroom. The therapist directed me to the ladies room .. no, sillies, that's not the miracle. As I was washing up I saw ME in the mirror. Me, Myself, I, Faith, was standing there. That's the first time in a long time that I've seen myself full-length in a mirror and didn't hate what I saw.

No tears but my heart beat faster along with getting all warm & fuzzy.  I'm still floating on that one.

[HappyMoni]

I love those kind of miracles. I saw myself in the mirror when I was a teen. I didn't see her again til I was 58 or 59. Now I see me, real me, every day. It is awesome isn't it?

[Laurie]

Alright you two butterflies come fly into my net. Such bright pretty specimens....

[Anne Blake]

Hi Faith,

If you don't watch out, someone looking at your new avatar will think that there is some joy leaking into your life. It is so much different than your earliest pictures. I don't believe that smile was put on for the camera, it looks like one that you couldn't wipe off if you tried. Good going girl!

Tia Anne

[Faith]

Hi Faith,

If you don't watch out, someone looking at your new avatar will think that there is some joy leaking into your life. It is so much different than your earliest pictures. I don't believe that smile was put on for the camera, it looks like one that you couldn't wipe off if you tried. Good going girl!

Tia Anne

I will admit to being happier inside and since last night it could be called bubbly. A smile is coming so much easier. I most certainly did, however spontaneously, do that for the camera for Laurie. It's the best way I could show her since words don't work well for me.



evening update

our evening walk-talk was co-opted by my sister-in-law. That's a good thing. She'll coax things out and help in ways a therapist never could. On the plus side, I got my chance to greet her at the door all dolled up. A Black evening gown, beige lace shawl, my boots (no shoes ), a nice necklace ... and ... I managed to get my wedding ring over my knuckle. She noticed 

[KathyLauren]

Whoa!  I love the new avatar.  Looking good, girl!

[Katie Ellen]

I really like your new avatar Faith. Very nice!

[Faith]

Whoa!  I love the new avatar.  Looking good, girl!

I really like your new avatar Faith. Very nice!

blame Laurie! It's all her fault!!!!

Thanks, really, I appreciate the comments.

I was scrolling down to find one of my posts to see where I left off, I couldn't find it. I scrolled right past my own picture, I didn't recognize myself

[Laurie]

Thank you Faith,

  I went back to your post in my thread to read it again. And again that tear ran down my cheek. Your post was so sweet. I think part of it belongs here to show others your heart.

So here it is.

I'm smiling for you, it is heartfelt and sincere.

  Thank you Faith

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Faith]

Thank you Faith,

  I went back to your post in my thread to read it again. And again that tear ran down my cheek. Your post was so sweet. I think part of it belongs here to show others your heart.

So here it is.

  Thank you Faith

Hugs,
   Laurie

You deserve every happy tear. Don't try to tell yourself that you don't! I may have to start saving up slaps just in case. I think have some lying around here somewhere.

[Jayne01]

What's going on here? I'm away for a day and all of a sudden I see Faith looking awesome wearing a real smile! You're looking good Faith! I love the new profile pic!! [emoji106]

Jayne

[Faith]

JAYNE !!!!  PAH-TEE PAH-TEE .. WOOOOO


ahem ..


psst. Like I told Kathy and Raeanne, It's all Laurie's fault, she's a bad influence.

[Sarah_P]

I'll just add my endorsement! I love your new pic Faith!!

[Faith]

I'll just add my endorsement! I love your new pic Faith!!

thanks Sarah! You're looking awesome yourself. Some day I'll have a nice big smile like that too. Happy inside, happy outside

[Faith]

Minor update, just to have something to say.

I've been reading all kinds of posts and I feel like I have nothing to contribute.

• I read topics that are interesting but having no direct correlation with my history or experience, I move on.
• I read other topics so heavy that an unwinnable debate comes to mind. When you start debating opinions and personal experiences (really, you don't have to agree with someone's opinion to accept it, sheesh!) ... nothing for me there, I move on.
• I read posts and see/feel real friendly interaction between the parties. That's nice, very uplifting, I don't know them. I can't interject my comments or thoughts into that. It'd be like overhearing a conversation at the next table and butting into the middle of it, I move on.

That leaves me here.

... minor update I said ...

I gave up on a endocrinologist referral from my GP. Maybe I'll still get one, who knows. I made an appointment for initial consult at Planned Parenthood. It's for Feb 6. At least it's not 6 months from now .. or 100 miles away. A week and a half I can live with.

[Laurie]

Minor update, just to have something to say.

I've been reading all kinds of posts and I feel like I have nothing to contribute.

• I read topics that are interesting but having no direct correlation with my history or experience, I move on.
• I read other topics so heavy that an unwinnable debate comes to mind. When you start debating opinions and personal experiences (really, you don't have to agree with someone's opinion to accept it, sheesh!) ... nothing for me there, I move on.
• I read posts and see/feel real friendly interaction between the parties. That's nice, very uplifting, I don't know them. I can't interject my comments or thoughts into that. It'd be like overhearing a conversation at the next table and butting into the middle of it, I move on.

That leaves me here.

... minor update I said ...

I gave up on a endocrinologist referral from my GP. Maybe I'll still get one, who knows. I made an appointment for initial consult at Planned Parenthood. It's for Feb 6. At least it's not 6 months from now .. or 100 miles away. A week and a half I can live with.

Minor update? ??  Yeah right!  It sounds like hrt likely starts in a week and a half.   Yay!

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

[Jayne01]

Minor update, just to have something to say.

I've been reading all kinds of posts and I feel like I have nothing to contribute.

• I read topics that are interesting but having no direct correlation with my history or experience, I move on.
• I read other topics so heavy that an unwinnable debate comes to mind. When you start debating opinions and personal experiences (really, you don't have to agree with someone's opinion to accept it, sheesh!) ... nothing for me there, I move on.
• I read posts and see/feel real friendly interaction between the parties. That's nice, very uplifting, I don't know them. I can't interject my comments or thoughts into that. It'd be like overhearing a conversation at the next table and butting into the middle of it, I move on.

That leaves me here.

... minor update I said ...

I gave up on a endocrinologist referral from my GP. Maybe I'll still get one, who knows. I made an appointment for initial consult at Planned Parenthood. It's for Feb 6. At least it's not 6 months from now .. or 100 miles away. A week and a half I can live with.

Hi Faith,

Letting you know I'm still keeping up to date with you even if I may not get a chance for a lengthy reply.

What is Planned Parenthood? Do they have doctors that can prescribe HRT? I'm assuming you are not planning to have any more children. At least you don't have long to wait until Feb 6. Hope the consult goes well for you.

Jayne

[Faith]

Hi Faith,

Letting you know I'm still keeping up to date with you even if I may not get a chance for a lengthy reply.

What is Planned Parenthood? Do they have doctors that can prescribe HRT? I'm assuming you are not planning to have any more children. At least you don't have long to wait until Feb 6. Hope the consult goes well for you.

Jayne

PPH offer a lot of services. Donations accepted and also government support (if they don't pull support). One part of the service is Transgender resources with full HRT options. At the minimum they require 'of age, sound mind, signed consent' .. well, 2 outa 3 ain't bad. OK, I paraphrased a bit.

Not all locations offer all services, one local to me does offer transgender/HRT so, here I go.

Minor update? ??  Yeah right!  It sounds like hrt likely starts in a week and a half.   Yay!

Until I see them write a prescription .. yes, minor update.


I was really bummed out this AM. Got up quick at 5am. Wide awake, all good. Wife was sleeping. She was going to curl my hair this morning, I wanted to let her sleep. I got busy putting my face on ... nothing went right. Full eye stab in each eye with the mascara brush, huge blops that I had to clean up. Instead of 10 mins at the mirror it was 45 ... ARRGGG!! All the while that man face was glaring at me. (it ended up OK ... not the face, the makeup)

Lori woke up while I was in there and knew I was having problems. She went and got all my lunch stuff ready and made my coffee so I wouldn't have to deal with it.

We had picked up some slacks? leggings? neither really, a cross between. Picked those out for work and a top. I wasn't too sure about wearing it for work, Lori pushed me out the door. 2 compliments in the first hour ... I guess it's OK.

Trying a new nail polish color. It goes from red to orange to pink to red/orange depending on the lighting and other colors around them. I even see peach sometimes.  Here's a quick phone grab where they look reddish-pink/orange?. I might as well show my matching toes too even though my feet are ugly.